Second Wedding

Re: Second Wedding

• Scarlet Starlet 31 member

  

  December 2010 edited December 2011

  You didn't really mention how big/small of an event you had in mind.
  
  If you're going for a big gala event where you're re-inviting all your guests, they may not be clear whether or not they are expected to bring a gift.  You may want to include something on the invitation like "your presence is your gift to us". 
  
  Personally, if it were me, I'd have a private service for your immediate family only at the place you were previously married on your anniversary date and then have a small, intimate dinner afterwards.

  

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• handfast4me member

  

  December 2010 edited December 2011

  Actually, Scarlet, any mention of gifts, even saying "no gifts" is incorrect, and shouldn't be in an invitation. 
  
  And to OP: Retread is correct, this is not a wedding, but I don't think it's a vow renewal, either.  It's a do-over.  I'm not so much for those, unless it's for specific reasons (religious ceremony isn't recognized by law, military deployment, and a few other very limited reasons). 
  
  If you really want suggestions, then I suggest you ask a few of your good friends who attended your wedding to see what they think about this idea.   You may just want to throw a really nice 5th anniversary party.  As my daughter's friend stated when my daughter was saying that her wedding morphed into something different than what she originally planned: "Oh, nobody gets what they wanted exactly in a wedding.  You got your husband.  That's the only important part."   And that was from a 24 year old, who is obviously wise beyond her years!

  Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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• thealphabride

  

  December 2010 edited December 2011

  Can you please describe "complete disaster"?
  
   I don't want to bring any unhappy memories, but if it was really horrible then your idea of a "do-over' as you stated might be ok. But do not mention gifts on the invitations.
  
  Personally I prefer the idea of calling it a VOW RENEWAL as you are already married, you can't re do your wedding.
  
  Best of luck to you.

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• Scarlet Starlet 31 member

  

  December 2010 edited December 2011

  If I were a guest being invited to a wedding do-over and the invitation or rsvp card didn't say not to bring gifts, I'd feel obligated to give one, even though I would frankly be a little upset over it since I would have given a gift the first time. 
  I don't see anything wrong with including this on your RSVP card or maybe an insert. 
  Since this isn't technically a wedding, but more of a renewal or do-over, the rules of etiquette are more loosely applied.
  
  Edit: Taken from Idotaketwo.com:
  

  While a vow renewal or reaffirmation is a celebratory occasion, it is generally not viewed as a gift-giving situation. In fact, if gifts are mentioned or requested by the couple, the focus may shift away from the ceremony of love. While writing “no gifts please” on a wedding invitation is not acceptable, it is perfectly acceptable to include such wording in a vow renewal invitation. All that said, if you are hosting this event in honor of an anniversary then some people may want to give you an anniversary gift. Any time gifts are given, be gracious and always send a timely thank you note.

  

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• handfast4me member

  

  December 2010 edited December 2011

  Uh, yeah, just because it appears on the Interwebz doesn't make it correct, Scarlet.  NO invitation should mention gifts at all, whether it's to a wedding, a vow renewal, or a birthday party. 

  Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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