I'm so frustrated over trying to find a venue! My mother wants something big and fancy because she doesn't want to look cheap to her family for her only daughter's wedding. Money is G-d in that family. She wants a super fancy country club wedding and have everything taken care of by a coordinator. There is a country club here that's not too bad (but I'm not in love with it) but that's not even fancy enough for her standards. My parents are paying for my wedding, so I guess I should be glad Mom doesn't mind paying, but that's just not my dream. I don't want something big and outrageous! And every time I look at a country club I can't tell them apart. I want something unique and fun that says US, not that you could plug in another bride and groom and get the same thing. My fiance says we can decorate and really personalize the country club, but I don't think we could do much. Every time my mom adds another suggestion that clearly ignores what I want, she gets angry and upset when I say I don't like it!
My dream is a garden wedding and a backyard event in a large tent with twinkle lights at night and good, catered food. My parents have a vacation "home" (more like a tiny house) that would be perfect, but the land would have to be cleared, and to rent everything to set it up would be a headache, and it's in the middle of nowhere, not close to any hotels or airports. My fiance thinks that would be asking too much of people to fly in and have to drive 2 hours to the closest hotel, and farther for our venue. He loves the vacation home too, but just doesn't think it's practical.
We're getting married at the end of next year, so we have time to choose, but we have a Groupon to get save the dates and we at least wanted to have a place and date in mind so we can get the StD's before the Groupon expires. I have told everyone I need to have this settled so I can get back to studying for my PhD Comprehensive Exams that are in November.
I just don't want this whole big wedding but my fiance has a large family and I do (somewhat), plus we really want our friends there, so a small, intimate wedding is out. I know I have to compromise with the size of the wedding already but I'm just trying to find the next best thing to replicate that intimate feeling of being with all my loved ones on our special day. My parents are willing to spend up to $20,000 total but I really don't want them to spend that much. Plus it seems like my mom wants to do her thing just because she's paying for it, and I don't want that at all.
Help? I'm at the point of tears and don't know what to do.