Initiation in the bedroom...

elannis · August 2011

Are you an initiator for sexy time or do you prefer to be pursued?

[Deleted User] · August 2011

I would say it's pretty even with us.

elannis · August 2011

It's pretty even with us too, although I've noticed that he usually initiates during different times of the day than I normally do.

Swazzle · August 2011

Pretty even with us also!

lunarsongbird · August 2011

I not so subtly hint until he initiates. Our schedules really kill sexy time now....but I SOOOO wish BF would initiate more!

peekaboo2011 · August 2011

We're pretty even too!

marleylikeair · August 2011

I voted that it's even, but I think I probably initiate a little more than he does. He showers off all the wood shavings after he gets done working and then hangs out in his boxers at night a more often than not. It's...just...so...easy...and tempting. Heehee.

Ollie08 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_initiation-bedroom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f2124355-0a49-4cc9-bd3a-12ffb7e2a74aPost:f419e329-fd29-4461-9b28-fd6b427f02c6">Re: Initiation in the bedroom...</a>:
[QUOTE]I not so subtly hint until he initiates. Our schedules really kill sexy time now....but I SOOOO wish BF would initiate more!
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]
This exactly. I am definitely the one who hints at it in a pretty blunt way, but our schedules seriously put a damper on it. Although this weekend, the girls will be at their dad's, and both of us are off, so I'd really like to spend the entire weekend having sexy time lol

thejucheidea · August 2011

We take turns asking, haha.

NurseyK · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_initiation-bedroom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:f2124355-0a49-4cc9-bd3a-12ffb7e2a74aPost:071629fb-6ca9-42a1-866e-715b657816db">Re: Initiation in the bedroom...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong><em>BC killed my sex drive</em></strong>, so after the honeymoon phase wore off, he initiated it basically everytime. It really got to me, so I stopped BC and now it's a little more even. It's funny when he tries to shoot me down, because it happens so rarely, and then I tease him that if he turns me down, I'll never ask for it again.
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

Mine too until I went on microgestin 1.5/30.... va va voom it's baaaaack!

sparkles88 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_initiation-bedroom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f2124355-0a49-4cc9-bd3a-12ffb7e2a74aPost:08b61870-8b7c-4a66-a760-2ef5523edf28">Re: Initiation in the bedroom...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Initiation in the bedroom... : Mine too until I went on microgestin 1.5/30.... va va voom it's baaaaack!
Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]

I was on microgestin 1/20 for many years, and I loved it. My sex drive was really high. I tried to switch back but my body couldn't tolerate it.

Right now I'm on a higher dose of BCP to control some health problems I have. I also take a heart medicine that's known for squishing sex drive. Between the two of those things I rarely find myself initiating anymore. It wasn't that bad until the heart medicine got added in, too.

desertsun · August 2011

How do you hint that you want sexytime? I don't get it.

elannis · August 2011

Desert: I sometimes hint around at it partly because I'm shy, partly because I have self esteem issues. It usually is just extra flirty with a lot more physical touching and he catches on ... sometimes I tickle excessively, lol. I don't know why I do it, but I do.

[Deleted User] · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_initiation-bedroom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f2124355-0a49-4cc9-bd3a-12ffb7e2a74aPost:88f2ba86-87e7-4922-9013-b2b939e3a2cc">Re: Initiation in the bedroom...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Initiation in the bedroom... : <strong> I've been on every low-dose BC imaginable in the past 8 years (I'm pretty small, so regular dose hormones just made me sick).</strong> I'm due for a GYN appointment, so we'll see what they say then.
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

ME TOO!!! I'm 4'10", and they put me on regular estrogen dosage and I went crazy. like depressed, angry, anxious, gained a ton of weight, slept all the time, broke out... it was AWFUL. thank heavens we switched back to low dose immediately. :(

desertsun · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_initiation-bedroom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f2124355-0a49-4cc9-bd3a-12ffb7e2a74aPost:432da103-60c1-4e2a-ad73-16d0f1fa238d">Re: Initiation in the bedroom...</a>:
[QUOTE]Desert: I sometimes hint around at it partly because I'm shy, partly because I have self esteem issues. It usually is just extra flirty with a lot more physical touching and he catches on ... sometimes I tickle excessively, lol. I don't know why I do it, but I do.
Posted by elannis[/QUOTE]

<div>Ohhhhh, okay. I genuinely was not sure what the hinting would consist of. I think though if he knows that when you touch him a certain way or certain amount it means it's business time, that counts as you initiating. Right? I mean, my H and I don't usually say, "Let's have sex." We just read the other's signals.</div><div>
</div><div>Aaaannd, with the mention of business time, I feel I must once again share the brilliance and hilarity of Flight of the Conchords:</div><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU</a></div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

tdwpg1984 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_initiation-bedroom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f2124355-0a49-4cc9-bd3a-12ffb7e2a74aPost:432da103-60c1-4e2a-ad73-16d0f1fa238d">Re: Initiation in the bedroom...</a>:
[QUOTE]Desert: I sometimes hint around at it partly because I'm shy, partly because I have self esteem issues. It usually is just extra flirty with a lot more physical touching and he catches on ... sometimes I tickle excessively, lol. I don't know why I do it, but I do.
Posted by elannis[/QUOTE]
I have the same problem, so I have a hard time initiating. BF and I went through a pretty bad spell where just as I'm ready to fall asleep he'll just ask "wanna have sex" or even worse, something like "wanna make whoopie?" It was just so un-sexy, and I was already tired and just wanting to go to sleep that I'd often say no. Then he stopped asking because he kept getting rejected, then I felt like I was always the one initiating and we had a huge discussion about it where I had to explain to him that 11 pm at night when I have to be up at 5:30 the next morning is not the time to be asking, and that he has to at least put a little bit of romance into it and not be so silly all the time. We're still working out some initiation issues, but we're getting better. He is still usually the initiator.

misikes · August 2011

FI is usually the initiator, recent medications have absolutely killed my SD, and it's not BC-related. I gradually weened myself off said medication, but it seems the drive has never come back. $:\$

[Deleted User] · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_initiation-bedroom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f2124355-0a49-4cc9-bd3a-12ffb7e2a74aPost:5e5827a8-0743-416c-bbd7-de409256d53b">Re: Initiation in the bedroom...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Initiation in the bedroom... : I lasted 3 months on Ortho Tri Cyclen. I don't know how, I was throwing up every day for the first week of each pack, plus I gained weight, cried all the time... UGH. That was in 2003 (I think) and low dose pills weren't extremely common yet, so I guess the Dr didn't think to put me on that first. I'm 4'11" BTW. Do people ask you all the time if you're a legal midget? Because I get that a lot and I think it's extremely rude. I don't think "legal midget" is even a real thing. /threadjack
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

yes I get asked all the time, and yes it is a real thing. :) anything under 4'11" I believe. I just shrug it off. it's funny, and even endearing. in fact, during our wedding ceremony, my pastor started off his remarks to me with: "Coco, I've known you since you were a tiny little girl... well, you haven't grown much." and everyone just died laughing. it was funny, and true, and he only said it in love. so I don't mind at all!

I *think* I also went on Ortho Tri Cyclen, but I can't remember. I just remember that I was a horrible, mean person and I couldn't help myself. it was so frustrating for me and everyone else. it took a couple months after switching to get back to normal.

Peaseblossom55 · August 2011

I have to hint sometimes less subtly than others, but anytime we are in bed aqnd he begins caressing me that is his intiation. Sometimes I wish he would pounce but that is not him.

upthestairs87Wed98112 · August 2011

We're on a weird schedule since he's gone for 2 months at a time so at the beginning I'm the one initiating all the time and then closer to when he's leaving he starts to initiate more but that was only recently. It's not that he doesn't want to it's just that I usually have the idea first. It's a big joke between us since he's never dated somebody that initiates first, and more often than he does.

Jeter1028 · August 2011

I initiate probably 80% of the time. Which is quite often.

Initiation in the bedroom...

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