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Serious Doubts...

MissMeghan80MissMeghan80 member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Rhode Island
Growing up, I was never the girl that dreamed about her wedding - I just wanted the perfect guy, and I am truly blessed to have found him.  :) And now we are planning our lives, and a wedding together.  In the midst of all this planning, we have both admitted that this wedding doesn't feel like us.  I have a very large family (who I adore) so the idea of keeping the wedding small has never been an option.  I don't want a big wedding, but I feel like we don't have a choice. And the whole thing feels too formal for the both of us (though I do want to get married in the Catholic Church).

So, what should I do?  How can I make my wedding more casual and intimate without cutting down my guest list?  Do I have a cook-out after the ceremony? Do we go get married with our immediate families present and then hold a casual reception after?     
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Re: Serious Doubts...

  • dberrettdberrett
    100 Comments
    It's super easy to lose "you" in the midst of all the planning, coordinating, and trying to keep everyone else happy as well you both - the two most important people. It happens to pretty much everyone, I think. To reach the initmate nature you both crave, you have many options.
    You could hold the ceremony for just you and your family. And send different invitations to friends for a reception following the ceremony. That would make the ceremony more intimate, but you'd still include everyone by having them at the party. I think everyone could appreciate that!
    The level of casualness also has a great amount to do with your reception venue. I, too, wanted a more laid back atmosphere but still wanted my church wedding. We attained just that. The reception was held at Regatta Place in Newport. It's a tent overlooking the water. Generally way more relaxed atmosphere than, say, Castle Hill. And all guests knew that going in. So people were able to mill about, there was plenty of room, and look at the view. It was ideal. You could reach for something like that. Still have the church wedding, but choose a less formal reception venue and you'd get the best of both worlds.
    Personally, a cook out would be a little weird to me, but again, that's just me. Everyone's tastes are different. You can have your reception outside but still have wonderful foods to serve.
    To help ensure the casualness of the day, you may consider having a lot of open space for the cocktail hour with high boy tables to encourage mingling and wandering. That gives a more open feeling in general. Some brides also offer a basket filled with flip flops for summer weddings in varying sizes in their wedding colors for their guests. This makes this more easy breezy and easier for heeled-women to walk if they're outdoors and not on flat solid ground.
    I can't emphasize enough that you both need to be happy with whatever decisions you make. It's all about you. These are just a few suggestions, and I'm sure other knotties have more!
    Good luck! We're all here to talk through this stuff :-)
    We're selling some things left from our wedding! http://weddinggoodsforsale.weebly.com/ Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Anniversary
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  • MissMeghan80MissMeghan80 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thanks so much.  I think we are going to change the reception to be more casual.  The food will now be buffet style with beer/wine.  I also plan on doing some simple certerpieces.  Just toning things down a bit so its more "us".

    Thanks again :)
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