Your best wedding advice / lessons

Tanq&Tonic · February 2011

We have so much expertise on the forum, I thought it would be nice to pull together everyone's suggestions and share a few things. These can be specific to planning a wedding in Hawaii, or just in general. Share your wisdom!

You are currently: planning or married?
Best part of the process:
Hardest part of the process:
Best / worst decision:
Advice you wish you had before you started planning:

sparklegirl84 · February 2011

You are currently: planning
Best part of the process: Buying my dress!
Hardest part of the process: Working with slow vendors that don't reply.
Best / worst decision: Best: choosing hawaii enabled us to invite everyone we wanted without feeling bad about cutting our guest list. Worst: over-analyzing silly details nobody will remember in the long run & caring too much about my maid of honor's opinion on every decision.
Advice you wish you had before you started planning: Take the time to enjoy your engagement and don't rush into planning/let it consume you, lookin like a crazy bridezilla isn't too cute.

sld0618 · February 2011

You are currently: planning or married? planning
Best part of the process: all of the research i've done and my plans made
Hardest part of the process: the destination wedding part and people not being there for you like you would imagine they would be (support wise, not physically going to the wedding).
Best / worst decision: best -- to have it in Maui. worst -- as of this moment, I would say it's inviting a lot of people to come. I wish I would have thought about this before and only had our parents and my sister come.
Advice you wish you had before you started planning: seriously, get a thick skin now and that no one will care about your wedding like you do yourself. also try not to have the wedding the only thing you talk about with your friends. it's so hard because it's all your focusing on but they just can't relate (unless you have married friends).

cryssv · February 2011

You are currently: planning or married? Planning
Best part of the process: definitely the dress
Hardest part of the process: family dynamics/peace keeping!! Trying to keep everyone happy and content and dealing with the unsolicited advice.
Best / worst decision: Best: small quiet ceremony with just the two of us and our immediate families only, it feels more intimate and special. I feel like I won't be that bride that says there was so much going on that I missed so much and hardly remember the little detials. The reception will be on a different day entirely. Worst: I wouldn't say it's the worst decision but I often feel pangs of regret by not having bridesmaids. There's moments I wish I had the circle of girls.
Advice you wish you had before you started planning: Same as above - don't dive right into the crazy planning, nail down the big checks like venue and stuff then just enjoy being engaged.

kimmykupcakes · February 2011

You are currently: planning

Best part of the process: being super excited about everything

Hardest part of the process: my best friend of 20 years stopped talking to me 2 years ago. To this day I still don't know why. The one time I got her to reply to me she said it was because I said not to mess something up. That can't be the real reason. ?????? She's suppose to be my MOH, we've planned that she would be for most of our lives. I get sick every time I think about her not being at my wedding. My mom lives 2 blocks away from her and is going to go talk to her in hopes of getting her to just talk to me before I get drunk and go pound on her door myself. Although, that might be what we need...

Best / worst decision: Haven't had any bad decisions, yet. Best has to be planning the wedding before we make the announcement to everyone that we are engaged. We haven't had to deal with any drama this way and get to plan the wedding that makes us happy.

Advice you wish you had before you started planning: Do what makes you and your FI happy. Other family and friends have had or can have their own wedding.

AKWinterBride · February 2011

You are currently: planning or married? Not yet married, but done planning.

Best part of the process: Getting the big things lined up and out of the way ASAP - literally all of my big vendors were booked by mid-March (we got engaged on Valentine's), spending time with my Mom planning!

Hardest part of the process: Dealing with people who assume they are invited to our wedding, and missing out on people you really hoped could come.

Best / worst decision: To book everything ASAP. I haven't had hardly any stress in our planning as I did the bulk of it almost a year ago now. Second best decision, hooking up with a vendor I love to do a lot of our work, she totally sees our vision and I love everything we have gotten from her!

Advice you wish you had before you started planning: Slow down, make sure you have seen the venues on all the islands before you lock yourself in. I love, love, love my venue and wouldnt' change it for the world, but at the same time I can see how much more convenient some of the places on Oahu may have been since all of our wedding guests have to do the hop flight from Oahu to Maui.

Tanq&Tonic · February 2011

You are currently: planning or married?
Planning

Best part of the process:
Fun with FI. It's been fantastic to both get really excited about things like building our own letterpress.

Hardest part of the process:
Not taking the no RSVPs personally. It's actually surprised me quite a bit who is showing up, and who is not. I know it's part of a DW and once the day comes I won't even notice, but some of the declines still go straight to the heart.

Best / worst decision:
Best - having a DW and making it everything we as a couple want.
Worst - having the AHR so close to the wedding when the planning got dumped on us too.

Advice you wish you had before you started planning:
It's not really advice anyone gave me, but kind of a realization halfway through. Regardless of who can make it, what's perfect, if my dress even arrives, etc. If the groom & you are there, it'll still be the most wonderful day ever & you will still be married. Be excited about that.

kaesha · February 2011

Tanq - good realization!

You are currently: planning or married? Married!

Best part of the process: DIY, this awesome community and getting to be totally creative.

Hardest part of the process: Acknowledging that people I wanted there weren't going to be able to make it. Also, dealing with picky eaters. They should be shot.

Best / worst decision: Best - going with my gut and putting my faith in great vendors (Joanna Tano, Celebrations and Bella Grace) that weren't super popular on the boards at the time.

Worst - booking a cab home that NEVER showed up. Booo.

Advice you wish you had before you started planning: Take photos of the process! Your time as an engaged woman will probably be the shortest stage of your life - enjoy it, because it's gone too quickly.

Also, know what's important for you and what's important for your guests and know when to compromise. IMO, the best thing you can do is be a gracious host. All our friends tell others that their time on Hawaii for our wedding was the best vacation they've ever had, which makes me SO happy to have been able to facilitate that for them. They'll remember the effort you went to to make their time there special, especially if they're unlikely to return.

destiny1108 · February 2011

You are currently: planning or married? Married
Best part of the process: Selecting Hawaii as we were able to have just the closest friends and family attend and had alot of time to spend with each other, some I haven't seen for years!
Hardest part of the process:    Selecting a venue, our first pick wasn't available for our date, but we found a place that still worked out and was beautiful
Best / worst decision:     Best decision was getting a planner, we actually went full service because of our work schedules, she did a great job and exceeded my vision
Advice you wish you had before you started planning:      Allow more time for pre-planning visit, vendors are located all over the island so travel time takes up quite a bit of time

SydneyKate8711 · February 2011

You are currently: planning or married?  Planning

Best part of the process:  FH agreeing to have dance lessons with me!

Hardest part of the process:    Dealing with vendors who wont reply

Best / worst decision:     Best decision - my dress! it still makes me smile to think about how much I love it http://kenziekate.blogspot.com/2008/04/johanna-johnson.html

Worst decision: I don't think I have one yet it's all been really fun

Advice you wish you had before you started planning:      weddings make people (eg family!) crazy! No matter how normal people seem, mention the W word and they go nuts!

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