Mother of Groom Dress

elle.clarke · June 2010

We will soon be taking my fiance's mom dress shopping and I'm unclear about the etiquette of what she will wear. My mother got a floor-length navy dress, so I know that means the mother of the groom then should wear a floor-length dress, but how about colors? Our colors are navy and pink

My dress - ivory
Bridesmaids - Navy
Flower girls - pink
Mother of Bride - Navy

Thoughts???

Brie2010 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mother-of-groom-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33aa42be-20f9-49e3-87a3-807e505fef86Post:83137711-c4e1-402d-8fe3-6273528bfcec">Mother of Groom Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]We will soon be taking my fiance's mom dress shopping and I'm unclear about the etiquette of what she will wear. My mother got a floor-length navy dress, so I know that means the mother of the groom then should wear a floor-length dress, but how about colors? Our colors are navy and pink My dress - ivory Bridesmaids - Navy Flower girls - pink Mother of Bride - Navy Thoughts???
Posted by elle.clarke[/QUOTE]

She should wear whatever she's comfortable and beautiful in. It really does not matter. She's an adult, let her pick out her own clothes.

Our wedding colors were champagne, aqua, and pink. MOB wore blue, MOG wore bright red. They both looked great.

Morfudd · June 2010

Whatever color she wants?

(Okay, I say that, but I admit one of my few flip-outs was when his mother planned to wear a dress mimicking the bridesmaid's dresses. In my case, though, I wanted her to wear something that was *different* from the color scheme, while she had been upset that *her* mother-in-law hadn't matched her color scheme, back in the day-- so all very messy miscommunication.)

myother1 · June 2010

Some people like to follow the old-established rules of ettiquette, and that's understandable.

Traditionally, she should pick a dress of the same length and a color that compliments (or at least doesn't clash with) your mother's dress. The basic idea is that everyone looks good standing together.

myother1 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mother-of-groom-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33aa42be-20f9-49e3-87a3-807e505fef86Post:21e55589-3b62-44e1-b0a0-945dd90977ec">Re: Mother of Groom Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mother of Groom Dress : I get that, but really, how often do your mothers stand together in the course of the day? Rarely in my opinion. And why should the MOG be the second choice, after all BOTH of their children are getting married that day. I think it is "rules" like these that make people believe that it is all about the bride, and it plain and simply isn't.
Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]

Well, it's all about the couple. Let's be honest. The couple should try to be as gracious as possible to their guests, but if they weren't being legally and/or spiritually united, no one would be worrying about any dresses.

"Rules" are not always super-oppressive. Sometimes they give people direction and guidance. Ever heard of the "Paradox of Choice"? It's the idea that unlimited options don't always make people happier. Some people need an idea of where to start.

Traditionally, the MOG gets the second choice because the MOB pays for the wedding. Traditionally. If you aren't having a traditional wedding, then it doesn't matter. All personal choice.

Simply Fated · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mother-of-groom-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33aa42be-20f9-49e3-87a3-807e505fef86Post:83137711-c4e1-402d-8fe3-6273528bfcec">Mother of Groom Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]We will soon be taking my fiance's mom dress shopping and I'm unclear about the etiquette of what she will wear. My mother got a floor-length navy dress, so I know that means the mother of the groom then should wear a floor-length dress, but how about colors? Our colors are navy and pink My dress - ivory Bridesmaids - Navy Flower girls - pink Mother of Bride - Navy Thoughts???
Posted by elle.clarke[/QUOTE]

For a color... this is something you should ask them. Forget about whether or not the color matches the other dresses... what about what matches them? Hair color, skin color, body type... these are all things you should really be considering when choosing a color for a dress.

If you insist she should wear matchy matchy colors, that's one thing... but length is such a small detail that I feel is something you should not enforce on you or your fiance's mother. You might be the bride, but they are adults and your mothers and you really don't have the right to tell them what length their dress should be.

graysquirrel · June 2010

Agree with Simply about matching color/body type. That is what is most important. If you have a good enough relationship with your FMIL, you could suggest a floor length dress to her and see what she says. There is nothing wrong with suggesting it but giving her the option to pick what she likes.

tidetravel · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mother-of-groom-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33aa42be-20f9-49e3-87a3-807e505fef86Post:2d844cae-0d44-422d-8161-73dd71769b65">Re: Mother of Groom Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mother of Groom Dress : Well, it's all about the couple . Let's be honest. The couple should try to be as gracious as possible to their guests, but if they weren't being legally and/or spiritually united, no one would be worrying about any dresses. "Rules" are not always super-oppressive. Sometimes they give people direction and guidance. Ever heard of the "Paradox of Choice"? It's the idea that unlimited options don't always make people happier. Some people need an idea of where to start. Traditionally, the MOG gets the second choice because the MOB pays for the wedding. Traditionally. If you aren't having a traditional wedding, then it doesn't matter. All personal choice.
Posted by myother1[/QUOTE]

Unless the bride is also being given away with a dowry, I'm pretty sure most "traditional" rules don't apply.

miah_23_ncb · June 2010

i think she should wear what she is comfortable in. if sh happens to ask ypu could giver her suggestions or tell her what your mother is wearing

brilibby4 · June 2010

To be honest, I don't think I have ever noticed what the MOG and MOB were wearing at the weddings I have attended. As long as she is comfortable then I think whatever she chooses will be fine.

myother1 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mother-of-groom-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33aa42be-20f9-49e3-87a3-807e505fef86Post:5d49e76f-6cff-4fd5-a57c-55b9bf357cb9">Re: Mother of Groom Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mother of Groom Dress : Unless the bride is also being given away with a dowry, I'm pretty sure most "traditional" rules don't apply.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

Most of the things people do in weddings are rooted in tradition. There is no rule saying you must follow all the rules, or that your wedding will somehow be "less than," if you don't, but most people do generally the same thing. Saying that people don't use traditional guidelines for weddings simply isn't true.

Kate504 · June 2010

well i don't necessarily think that they have to coordinate looks, but at my sister's wedding the MOG who is a little younger than my mom, maybe 8 years because she had the groom at a young age wore a TIGHT HOT PINK dress that was a few inches above the knee and shold have been a size or two bigger.......so aslong as it is not that, white or you bridemaid dress or colors I think you are ok!

We still joke about it when we watch the video of her hanging on him dancing to that SUPER long celien dion song that she picked out.

pooh8402 · June 2010

whatever the hell she feels comfortable in. my mom and stepmom both wore silver dresses with jackets. my mom's dress was knee-length, stepmom's dress was floor-length. MIL wore a floor-length dark purple dress (so color-wise, she was actually the flashier one) that had a jacket. all 3 women looked beautiful.

mica178 · June 2010

Perhaps this is all regional. My FMIL wrote me recently asking about what my mother is wearing to the wedding because she wants to coordinate colors and lengths with both my mother and the bridesmaids. I had never heard of such a thing before.

I told her to wear whatever she wants, but if she'd like to discuss further with my mother, of course that's fine.

Etiquette_Maven · June 2010

The style of the wedding will dictate length. If it's a formal, or evening wedding a long dress is more appropriate. If you're having a more casual garden wedding, a tea length or cocktail dress is just fine. That said, many colors go with Navy, so she has a lot of choices open to her, and I'm sure you'll find something lovely!

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