Necessity of a veil...

seesawgirl · December 2011

Alright, so, up until this point, I had absolutely no intentions on wearing a veil.

I am 26, this is my second marriage, I am most definitely not a virgin, FI and I have lived together for about 2 years. I just kind of figure that the jig is up on the entire "sheilding of my virginity" thing.

Until I went to try on some wedding dresses, and the sales woman brought something up that I can't get out of my head.

"Right now, you're just a girl in a white dress. (puts veil on my head) Now you're a bride."

Before anyone says it, I am weeelll aware that it is this lady's job to sell me more things, but my question is...is she right?

Do I need some sort of veil/headdress/birdcage thing, or am I good to go without it?

DramaGeek · December 2011

You're totally good without it.

That said, I was staunchly against a veil, but somehow I just felt more bride-y with it. I realized my big issue was the big puffy veils on top of the head, especially with a blusher. So I put mine under my updo, toward the nape of my neck.

Really, you're good either way, it's just a matter of figuring out what feels right for you.

SCogs18 · December 2011

What the sales lady said is total BS. You weren't just a girl in a white dress, you were a woman in a bridal gown! Did you feel more bridal in the veil? Did you think it completed the look? If yes, then get a veil. If you think they are silly don't bother. However, I don't think anyone really views veils as a means to "sheild virgnity" anymore so I wouldn't let that be your only deterrant.

You don't NEED a veil. But if you WANT one, I say go for it.

AdeleDazeem · December 2011

I didn't wear a veil! Instead, I had fresh orchids. I didn't miss the veil for one second.

maelic · December 2011

Of course she's not right. You could stand up at the altar in a bikini and you'd still be the bride. Don't buy into the marketing, you can actually wear whatever you want on your wedding day.

I'm not wearing a veil. I never had any intention to and I certainly didn't change my mind at the bridal salon. Not a birdcage, not a small veil, not a comb, nada. Just fresh flowers, which is what I always wanted (and also what I wear in my hair whenever I can get away with it on a regular basis).

Aks3131 · December 2011

She is definitely not right! I'm not wearing a veil even though several people have tried to convince me to. If you put on a veil & loved how you looked in it then yes get one. If you hated how you looked in it like I did don't get one. There are so many other options for headpieces like headbands, feathers, flowers and clips that you don't need a veil if you don't want one.

krizzo17 · December 2011

I think something in your hair always makes it a little fancier, you could go with a tiara, some combs, or flowers, but a veil is definitely not the only way to get that "bride" look!

artbyallie · December 2011

My mother didn't wear a veil. My aunt didn't her first time around (but okay, the white satin cowboy hat was pretty bad...). I didn't. I certainly still felt like a bride.

GreenEire · December 2011

You should wear whatever you feel comfortable with! I wore a veil and a tiara, but only because I've always wanted to wear both. If (heaven forbid), I ever had to get married again, or whenever H and I have a vow renewal, I plan on wearing flowers in my hair. Do what makes you happy and don't listen to the sales lady who only wants to make money off you.

Avion22 · December 2011

If you like the way you look with a veil, then you should get one:-) I'm a second-time bride as well, and this time around I will not be wearing a veil -- not because I think it would be inappropriate, but because I'm getting married outside and I think a veil would be miserable if it's windy.

This is all about your preference. Don't let the bridal shop salesperson talk you into something you don't want.

If you're still iffy on a veil, then try a few more on and see how you feel. You could always do some other kind of headpiece like a tiara, comb, flower, fasicnator, or anything else you like.

Simply Fated · December 2011

Nope, you're right. You don't need a veil and it's defnitely her job to try to sell you as much stuff and upgrades as she can.

If you want to wear one, go for it. If you don't want one, don't. I don't think ayone is going to associate you wearing a veil with you trying to pretend you're a virgin or anything lol.

seesawgirl · December 2011

Suh-weet! Thanks ladies! I think I will be going the fresh flower route!

Magdala9 · December 2011

I bought a veil, I wore a veil, I hated the veil and could not get it off my head fast enough. They are annoying to wear and I recommend that anyone who thinks they want one to wear one in the store for a while before investing any money in the damn thing.

jemmini6 · December 2011

Was your original opposition to a veil that you thought you 'shouldn't' wear one because it's your second marriage and you aren't a virgin? Because if it was, that is a false perception, veils never symbolized purity or virginity (neither did white dresses). Veils originated from arranged marriages and they hid the bride from the groom so he wouldn't run away before she got to the altar. The traditional lifting of the veil was so that they could make sure he was really marrying the right girl. So the history really isn't very romantic or at all applicable to modern times. It's just a pretty accessory these days.

Also, the bridal consultant was wrong too. You certainly do not need a veil to feel like a bride. If you are the one that's getting married, you are the bride, even if all you are wearing is a potato sack. So yes, she's just trying to sell you more stuff (which even if you do decide on a veil, don't buy from a bridal shop, that's where they do the most markups and all of their accessories are such a ripoff).

All that being said, wear what you want to wear, not what somone tells you you need to wear, or what you thought you couldn't wear. If you like the look of a veil, then buy a veil. If not, then it's definitely not necessary to have one.

I wore a chapel length veil because I liked how it looked with my dress. I did not have a blusher (the part that goes over your face) because I didn't want one, and I was happy with my decision. So you should do what will make you happy.

soohappy · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_necessity-of-veil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:ca6980b6-cc42-4804-b3c7-502e3438cdf8Post:8c3d4049-dd38-4235-ba9f-d29567a863c5">Re: Necessity of a veil...</a>:
[QUOTE]What the sales lady said is total BS. You weren't just a girl in a white dress, you were a woman in a bridal gown! Did you feel more bridal in the veil? Did you think it completed the look? If yes, then get a veil. If you think they are silly don't bother. However, I don't think anyone really views veils as a means to "sheild virgnity" anymore so I wouldn't let that be your only deterrant. You don't NEED a veil. But if you WANT one, I say go for it.
Posted by SCogs18[/QUOTE]

100% agree!!! Get it if YOU want it and forget it if you don't.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2011

Do whatever you want. I did wear a veil, but honestly, it FELT weird. I mean, really, who, aside from a bride, wears a veil IRL? It also annoyed me (it was fingertip length) and I threw that baby off pretty fast after the ceremony, and went the whole reception without. It looked good, but the whole "bridal costume" is a bit ridiculous, when you think about it.

arrabelle · December 2011

I felt more like a bride once I tried on the veil. I can't explain it. But, my veil is also my grandmother's, so it's very meaningful to me. If I were just buying a new one, I might not feel the same.

You're a bride b/c you're getting married. Not b/c of what you wear! Wear whatever you want!

achiduck · December 2011

You are not required to wear a veil as a first, second or third time bride. I am a first-time bride and I have NO intentions of wearing a veil.

skantrowitz · December 2011

If it makes you feel like a bride, wear it! But you absolutely don't have to. You'll be a bride either way.

AurorasEnvy · December 2011

Wear what you want, veil or no.

frogger6673 · December 2011

I was going to go with a birdcage, but I am reconsidering it. The first picture on the left in my siggy is my fascinator, which has a small snippet of mesh from the original veil. I think that will do for me.

Bett2012 · December 2011

veils and white dresses mean nothing about virginity unless you want them to. they're just "the thing to do", whether it's your first wedding and you're a virgin, first wedding and you're not, or if it's your 100th wedding.. people just wear white and veils. I don't think the awkwardness of a woman who is obviously not a virgin wearing white exists anymore.

cebrady89 · December 2011

I felt so much more like a bride once I put a veil on...that's different for everyone, but I think it made a difference for me.

You don't NEED one, and the women was certainly trying to sell you on the dress/veil. But if you feel more bride like with a veil, get it! Your sex life has nothing to do with it

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