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MOB doesn't want a dress and that's ok

ashleigha894ashleigha894 member
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in Moms and Maids
My mom doesn't want to wear a dress. She hasn't worn a dress in over 15 years she is more of a jeans and nice shirt kind of woman and I respect that. I also respect that my mom just found out that she has breast cancer and we don't know how recovered she will be during my wedding. Does anyone have any suggestions? I was really looking forward to helping my mom look beautiful for my wedding and at this point I am lost. Any suggestions (with pictures/links would be nice) are much appreciated.

Thank you
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Re: MOB doesn't want a dress and that's ok

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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mob-doesnt-want-a-dress-and-thats-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a135bf3c-da33-487a-8129-ee2389d634b3Post:e262c94d-71d0-439b-8bae-70d44ac66899">MOB doesn't want a dress and that's ok</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mom doesn't want to wear a dress. She hasn't worn a dress in over 15 years she is more of a jeans and nice shirt kind of woman and I respect that. I also respect that my mom just found out that she has breast cancer and we don't know how recovered she will be during my wedding. Does anyone have any suggestions? I was really looking forward to helping my mom look beautiful for my wedding and at this point I am lost. Any suggestions (with pictures/links would be nice) are much appreciated. Thank you
    Posted by ashleigha894[/QUOTE]
    Would she wear nice pants? They can be way more comfortable for her and I think that's a fair compromise. Honestly, though, if she wants to wear jeans and a gorgeous top, I wouldn't care. I mean, her cancer gets her a full pass to do what ever she wants.
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    I wore flowy pants and a jacket to our last DD's wedding.  it was formal and dressy enough, and the best part was my husband loved my outfit.  I HATE DRESSES.
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    ashleigha894ashleigha894 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mob-doesnt-want-a-dress-and-thats-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a135bf3c-da33-487a-8129-ee2389d634b3Post:add747a2-0925-4633-9241-bdede0f938b4">Re: MOB doesn't want a dress and that's ok</a>:
    [QUOTE]Breast cancer covers a lot of territory.  I am a survivor. Most women get the lump and surrounding tissue removed, which is called a lumpectomy.  It isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it isn't life changing. More advanced cancers require mastectomy surgery, removal of the breast.  After a month, you can wear very realistic prosthesis.  Mom might want to avoid low cut necklines if she has this done.  Reconstructive surgery is amazing, and you honestly can't tell after it heals, but this takes a long time. The thing that really affects breast cancer patients is chemotherapy.  This is what causes hair loss and really makes you feel sick and saps your energy.  Not all cancer patients have to do chemo, and if your Mom is one of the lucky ones, she should be fine for your wedding.  There is also radiation therapy, which will make her tired for a while, but that passes, too. I had very advanced, stage 3C breast cancer, with 13 cancer positive lymph nodes, so I had the works.  I am the lady wearing the hat in the picture below.  My hair was still growing out, but nobody could tell. T & P for your Mom.  Looking forward to your wedding should be a real help for her inevitable depression.  I was so happy to be able to see my daughter get married!  In May I get to hold my first grandson.  Modern medicine is wonderful.  (Chemo sucks, though!) Check out "Le Suit" pantsuits in your department store.  They are perfect for a dress up occasion.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    I guess that I should have explained that part a little more, my mom is having a double mastectomy and reconstruction (implants) in May. So far me and my aunt (moms sister) are the only ones in the family that haven't had breast cancer so she felt it would be easier to have them both removed at once. She won't need chemo or to have lympth nodes removed because they caught it early.

    Thanks for the pantsuit suggestion, I just don't know what direction to point my mom in, she doesn't shop very often so she doesn't really have a style and doctors visits will be taking up more time now.
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    Check Penney's online.  They do have a wedding section and that is where I got my start.  Good luck!
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    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
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    I'm sorry your mom is going through this, but it sounds like her recovery odds are really good, so that's awesome news!

    Masectomies can be very emoitonal for women (many identify their femininity via their figure, which the chest is a large part of).  You mother may take it in stride, or she may feel like 'less of a woman' (even though she's not).  Be supportive and sensitive, follow her lead.  She may suddenly decide that dresses are exactly what she wants to feel more feminine, or she may decide that layers and pants are best.  It's a personal decision.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    mcda04mcda04 member
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    At my SIL's wedding, my daughter was 2 weeks old so I didn't want to wear a dress. I wore a very nice suit I bought from JcPenney. It was from the Bisou Bisou collection and it was very dressy. It had a little tiny bit of sparkle and it was charcoal.

    I would recommend NY&Co. for suits.

    http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/Apparel/Suiting/The-7th-Avenue-City-Double-Stretch-Two-Button-Pinstripe-Jacket-Average

    Or maybe something like this.

    http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/kasper-suit-metallic-jacquard-jacket-shell-black-pants?ID=761908&CategoryID=39096&LinkType=#fn=DEPARTMENT_TYPE%3DSuits%26SUIT_STYLE%3DPant%20Suit%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D21%26ruleId%3D25%26slotId%3D17
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    renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
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    Macy's and Nordstrom are also good places to look for non-dress formal options.
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    lindseymonlindseymon member
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    My mom wore a pretty silk pantsuit from Ann Taylor to my first wedding. Let your mom wear what makes her happy and if someone has a problem with it, F them!
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