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Vent...

dls.1215dls.1215 member
Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
in New Hampshire
So I've been pretty good through all of our declines, even though a large part of our family that was so excited to come to our wedding has now declined.  Now with just over 2 weeks to go we have two more people who are not coming, with an additional 5 on the fence after RSVPing yes....I know its going to save us money etc, but I went through so much extra workI feel like planning for 100-115 people (favors, table decorations, blocking off large numbers of rooms at the hotel) that now I'm having to do extra legwork to get all of our final numbers changed so drastically along with all the extra things we bought/planned for.   Sorry I feel bad venting most of the time cause I know it will save us money in the end its just frustrating to have such a large decline rate and still rising with 2 weeks to go.  Thanks for listening :)
April 2010 January SC - Favorite Picture from the Holidays
DH & I at the Light Festival
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Re: Vent...

  • cg-pm52111cg-pm52111
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We're here for you girl!  I'm sorry this is happening to you!  We'll just to have the Knotties crash your wedding!
    Look at it this way...since you'll have fewer guests you'll be able to celebrate with each of them more individually.  It'll all work out!
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  • Arez16Arez16
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
     Just think of the extra money you are saving, and how you can spend it on your HM ;) I know its creating extra work right now, but soon it will all be over and you'll have much less stress and...you'll be married to the love of your life!!!
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  • dls.1215dls.1215 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm trying to keep that in mind...I'm just frustrated that people are STILL bailing even after saying yes!  They better make up their minds before the final payments on the venue are due or I will be mad!
    April 2010 January SC - Favorite Picture from the Holidays
    DH & I at the Light Festival
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    Anniversary

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  • chelley599chelley599
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am worried about the same thing.  My FI's family is mostly in Chicago and from what we are hearing through the grapevine, many are not planning on coming.  However, until just before, we have to assume they are so we have enough favors and so on.  I am sorry that it is making extra work but like PP said think of all the money for your honeymoon
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  • Steffy3217Steffy3217 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not going to sugar coat, That does suck... If someone says yes.. they should stick to it, not make you run around. And it stinks that now you have to change everything. Great you're saving money, but that's not the point of it all... maybe express to your people on the fence, that if it's a money issue for them, that you'd much rather have them present than their gifts.

    I Hope the rest stay yes's or are yes's!
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  • angelbbutterflyangelbbutterfly member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hey so I still have awhile to go but can def. understand the on the aspect of expecting more with favors, etc... I actually bought wooden roses so that if i had to many left over id make myself a bouqet for my future house... lol. But anyways my point is try to use the extrra favors (however many there will be) in other creative ways, if you did the candy thing then bring them into work or something, people love candy... and centerpiece stuff bring extras back and/or sell on craigslist-ebay, people always looking to buy misc. things... Never know hun!

    Otherwise keep your head up and good luck!! Sorry its happening to you, hope it all works out okay.. just enjoy the time you do have with the people who did show up! DONT STRESS, supposed to be happy day! :):):)
    ....Happy ever after.... http://romanowedding.weebly.com/
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  • chica7484chica7484
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I hear you. I agree with Steffy, I would express that you would really just like to celebrate with them, and nothing else.
    Everything will work out!!
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  • heathermarie322heathermarie322
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i know EXACTLY how you feel! my family was all from IL/WI, and the whole reason we planned our wedding out in New England was b/c people said they would still come... and then when it came down to the RSVP, all of the sudden they were saying no... this resulted in us missing our reception hall food minimum and us having to splurge at the last minute on extras... but in the end, it was the perfect size... it was way more intimate and we could spend time with each person and really show them that we appreciated they traveled all the way to be with us... yeah, looking back there are a million things that we could have done differently knowing the number of people that came, but that's always a risk when planning a huge day year(s) in advance. i was flipping out about it before the wedding... but by the time the big day came, i was just happy and thankful to be blessed with the day the way it was! keep your head up and remember there are more terrible things in the world!
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  • litskispecialtylitskispecialty
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you're dealing with that.  I almost had to cancle on a wedding of my FI's friend, but rearranged because we say yes.  Not to be rude, I think it's sad that people can't be adults and stick to their yes, they probably already had a wedding and know the stress and cost of extra people.

    I would stand your ground and just call and say hey we had to book based on a certain number of people, or we lose money if you don't show up etc.  You have a right to be happy too esp after all the work you did.

    I'm 5 months out but my FI's family is already starting that, a lot of them are older and don't drive at night, plus his sister just found out she's pregnant and the family has given priority to that.  If you know you're not coming, decide now and move on.

    Enjoy your day no matter what, cherish those who do come and the ones who truely can't make it but feel bad (maybe they are too far away).  You've worked so hard you deserve a really beautiful day!
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  • EDK2010EDK2010 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am sorry you are going through this! It happened to us too, we invited 265 and had 176 as our final numbers. I had planned everything for 225 and had to re-adjust numbers a few times, all of our vendors were great with letting us change numbers until 10 days before the wedding. Even with our Candy Buffet we thought we would have way too much candy and people actually took almost all of it (I think some people left with 3+ bags!) and the 30 extra cupcakes got eaten as well. Hang in there, while it's frustrating you still have lots of people who want to be there to celebrate with you!
    TTC #1 Since July 2011
    BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
    BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
    TTC on hold until December
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