How much do you give?

i2012do · May 2012

i'm not sure if this is too personal but I wanted to know how much you guys gave as a cash wedding gift?

We recently went to a wedding of a close friend. I spent $50 on her shower (I couldnt attend) and then gave them $200 plus a bag of "ri goodies" since they relocated to LA.

anyway, my nieghbor asked me what to spend for a gift- beause she was going to a wedding at a country club- and i said "we usually do $100 a person, if they are a close friend or liek $75 pp if its not that close, kind of a distant friend"

anyway the woman looked at me and everyone at the table was liek "WHAT, we give 100 MAX per couple!!! you are insane!!" but I feel like this is standard for my group of friends.

Now I am afraid i have been over giving all these times!!

msowena · May 2012

I personally give $75 - $100 total....not PP. Though that is more because of my financial standing more than anything.

I say give what you feel comfortable giving and can afford.

ohnoitskaroljo · May 2012

I'm with msowena. If you can afford a $200 wedding gift then that's awesome and I'm sure the couple appreciates it. We do $50-100 per COUPLE. And we just got the first gift for our own wedding and it was $25...

i2012do · May 2012

Ya this is like $200 is a stretch...for us! but I felt like thats what everyone else we knew was giving so we were like oh ok, i guess thats standard. Now I am rethinking what we give!

dawnp917 · May 2012

It depends on the person. The most expensive gift I gave was to my sister when she got married. I generally between 100-200.

DeClue82 · May 2012

Depends on the state the wedding is in too.. I recently had this convo with My sister and long island friends an they said 100150 per person, 200300 per couple...in NC or Ohio this isn't the case and 100 would be a typical gift per couple.

ohnoitskaroljo · May 2012

I just think you should give what is comfortable for your pocketbook, ya know? There shouldn't be a set amount you HAVE to meet.

When I got that check in the mail last week I felt horrendously guilty because the couple won't even make it to the ceremony since they're out of state and I just felt like I shouldn't have gotten a gift from them (we didn't want to even register because we felt bad about asking for gifts from people). I think any good friend won't be offended regardless of what you give them

gifts are optional and the recipient should be gracious and appreciative regardless of how big or small it is.

20pearls16 · May 2012

This is why I rather buy a gift. I can't afford the $100-$200 gift but I can afford the $50 frying pan on the registry and folks seem to be just as happy.

m tulli · May 2012

Usually 50100. But I think where you live or your circle makes a difference. For example I've never been to an open bar wedding. Always 100 cash bars. I didn't know open bars were the norm till this site. I think different regions have different expectations. Really though it's just what your comfortable with.

i2012do · May 2012

Yes, this is true we do live (according) to the knot in the state that falls within the Top 5 most expensive places to have wedding, and every wedding we go to is open bar typically.Or at least open beer and wine- so I mean I guess that matters too.

I always thought it was a "pay your plate" type of thing.
So i always kind of do a rough estimate based on the person, my relationship w them, hwere the reception is located, etc etc...
I just wanted to make sure I was crazy out of whack or anything.

This was a close friend who Iknow is very generous and they are actually extending their honeymoon a few days so they can fly into our area and go to our wedding before flying home. So I was happy to spend the money
.
But for other peopel's weddings $200 has beena stretch for someone I don't know all that well.

mercy4 · May 2012

This is a big question for me this summer. I think I'll ask my local board. I think we usually give $200 as a couple but some good friends are getting married and FI is thinking $400 or more. We definitely can't afford anything right now, so any amount is a stretch. It's also awkward because they will all be coming to ours later in the summer. I wish we could just call it even and say no gifts.

i2012do · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_how-much-do-you-give?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:1e7f1bdd-62e6-498b-9db3-0d540b729617Post:1b5be14e-76bb-46c7-b778-c2bfb6ba8174">Re: How much do you give?</a>:
[QUOTE]This is a big question for me this summer. I think I'll ask my local board. I think we usually give $200 as a couple but some good friends are getting married and FI is thinking $400 or more. We definitely can't afford anything right now, so any amount is a stretch. It's also awkward because they will all be coming to ours later in the summer. I wish we could just call it even and say no gifts.
Posted by mercy4[/QUOTE]

I say hear hear on that!We are gliving these people money for gifts, and we are going to get it right back at us at our wedding.

One of the things was, I went to my bf's wedding and i was a bridesmaid. I spent about $1200 on her wedding. when it came to a gift, I had an awesome frame made from an etsy vendor for about $75 it has their married name and all swavoski crystals, then we gave them $75 for a gift. I felt like that was ok, because we spent liek 150 plus we stayed overnight and i spent a lot on her shower/bachelorette (i basicallyplanned and bought all the booze and food for that).
When I opened up my gift for being a bm it ws a pair of fake pearl earrings. The next day I noticed that they chipped. when I went to exchange them they didint ahve anymore-- so I opted for a refund. I got 10.99 back....
Then this same friend regifted her shower gift to our other firend (she forgot and left the card in it). So I feel like sometimes, you don't get back what you put it, and just have to call it even...

my point is, even if you give a generous gift, you can't count that youlll get it back.
I am wonderinf if the above friend of mine (who is also a bm) will actually give us a wedding gift at all.

ohnoitskaroljo · May 2012

Yeah you definitely can't count on getting what you give back...

rungirl12 · May 2012

In the past, I would generally give $50, but since being with FI, we spend a bit more since we have more to give now. It depends on the person but $50-$100 depending on the person is typical. We are in the cheap midwest.

In the past when I was younger and would ask my mom what to give, she always said to make sure to give enough to "cover" the cost of your meal which she would estimate at $25/head (5-10 yrs ago).

LibbyC730 · May 2012

rungirl...that's about what is typical here, too. In college, I thought giving $50 to my classmates was being generous! Now we can afford a bit more, so we give more, but I guess it still kind of depends on how close to the couple we feel.

saraschilling88 · June 2012

Hmm, I generally don't give more than a $50 to $75 gift, but that is stretching my price range to the max and is generally reserved for family. I wish I could afford to give more, for my friend's wedding I gave her a game and spatulas off of her registry, I felt horrible not getting more but we couldn't afford it. For my FI and I's friend (the wedding we were at last weekend) we were planning to give them $50 but when FI got his tux bill $165 (we were told it would just be a bit more expensive than ours which are $115), FI threw a fit (we are trying to save for our wedding) and only gave them $25 instead..

So I guess to each person it is different, give what you are comfortable giving and don't feel you have to give more just because others are.

How much do you give?

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