Legally married 9 months before wedding/reception

Re: Legally married 9 months before wedding/reception

• jennylee813 member

  

  October 2012

  You may have a vow renewal at that time, but not a wedding. Your wedding happens when you become legally married (ie. when your and your FI say your vows in August), whether it is in front of family and friends or at city hall or with a JOP. To say that you're getting married twice - once legally, and once with family - is an insult to all those who choose to have civil ceremonies. Plus, if you're planning to have a religious ceremony second, your church may refuse... All things to think about.
  
  But, if you want to have a celebration of your marriage nine months after your wedding, go ahead. Just be aware that there should be none of the following: bridal party, big white dress, cake cutting, first dance, bridal showers/bachlorette parties etc, since you will already be married.
  
  You become husband and wife the day you take your vows, however that happens. And that's the important part - not the party. If you want to get married in August, do it - just don't think it's okay to have a do-over with all the trimmings. Why not have your parents attend the civil ceremony and then you all go to a restaurant afterwards? Simple, yet still celebrating, and much more appropriate.

  

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• Lisa50 member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_legally-married-9-months-before-weddingreception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:c9facd2c-f0b6-4784-b58a-c94faf9323d7Post:1380296b-cc33-42e0-b8a3-e475152e9207">Legally married 9 months before wedding/reception</a>:
  [QUOTE]I (bride) will be moving to CA from MN in August to live with my fiance'. I will not have a job and no insurance. <strong>What do you think about us getting married in August 2013 for insurance purposes and having our ceremony and reception in MN 9 months later?</strong> The majority of our guest live in MN which is why we will do it in MN.
  Posted by monachica[/QUOTE]
  
  I think, if you have chosen a date and begun preparation for a wedding and reception in May 2014, you should stick with it. If you marry in August 2013, that's it -- you're married.  Cancel the festivities in May 2014.  PP's suggestion to have the small, civil ceremony with parents in attendance and dinner afterward is lovely.  <em>Choose one or the other</em>.
  
  I understand the fear and stress which comes with unemployment and lack of insurance.  I lost my job in Sept 2009 and did not receive a job offer until June 2011, just a month before the wedding. It was worth the wait to have the wedding and reception we wanted; I would not have changed it for the world. I took my chances and everything turned out well.

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• MikesAngie member

  

  October 2012

  I moved from WA to CA to live with my now DH in August of 2009 I had already lost my health insurance, because my hours had dwindled to less than 30 per week.  By July 2010 I was unemployed and in the throws of planning our wedding.  We got married as we had planned in April 2011.  I was fine without insurance for the short time that I wasn't covered, but I don't have major health issues.  Doctors vists were expensive but most cut me a deal (paying in cash helps), and Costco has a prescription "insurance" program that is free to their members as long as you agree to continue using their pharmacy for 6 months after becoming insured. My prescription for bc was less than what I would have paid through Planned Parenthood. 

  
  

  I agree with the previous posters, you can have either the wedding you are beginning to plan or your quiet civil ceremony but not both. 

  
  

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• pesematology member

  

  October 2012

  I had a normal weddingy ceremony and party after being married legally for several months. It was no big secret, and no one had a problem with it. Our ceremony consisted of readings and us reading our vows, we had no officiant. I wore a white dress. We had a reception. It was a normal wedding, people called it a wedding, and people liked it.

  "I wish yo azz all tha dopest up in yo' marriages"

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• anssett member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_legally-married-9-months-before-weddingreception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:c9facd2c-f0b6-4784-b58a-c94faf9323d7Post:dd7f8baa-0c2c-4205-941c-90679ec8213b">Re: Legally married 9 months before wedding/reception</a>:
  [QUOTE]I had a normal weddingy ceremony and party after being married legally for several months. It was no big secret, and no one had a problem with it. Our ceremony consisted of readings and us reading our vows, we had no officiant. I wore a white dress. We had a reception. It was a normal wedding, people called it a wedding, and people liked it.
  Posted by pesematology[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I agree with this. We're getting legally married in April with only parents there (because of a tree-blooming phenomena) and delaying our reception/party/etc for the full friends/family in July (when the weather is good enough for outdoor parties). I was approaching it from the 'it's not a wedding, so we need to make that really clear and not offend people' perspective, but no one cares. All our friends/family keep calling it 'the wedding' in July and don't care! They want to celebrate with us and even requested we add things like vows & ceremony-type stuff so they could enjoy it with us. No one cares in my world. Maybe your friends/family are that way too!</div>

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• monachica

  

  November 2012

  Thanks for the feedback and suggestions! We have decided to do everything in August as origionally planned. It will be a lot of activity in a short period of time, but I expect everything will work out well! Thanks!

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