Favors
shatrbug_2001
member
Instead of favors
in Favors
Every favor that my fiance and I have ever gotten at every weding we have ever been to has either been thrown in a drawer or in the trash never to be seen again...with the exception of matchbooks and edible goods and sometimes even those have ended up never to be seen again. That being said, we have decided to take the money that we would spend on favors and donate it to two charities...the Heart Association in his daddys memory (his daddy died of a heart attack) and the Cancer Society in my Daddys memory (my daddy died of cancer) and include a note on the programs that this was done. Anyone with any opinions
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Re: Instead of favors
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"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
Favors are not necessary and are rarely missed. Leaving out cards stating that you made a donation is not giving your guests something in lieu of a favor so there just isn't a reason for it except to bring attention to yourself. Also, to tell your guests that it's in lieu of a favor is wrong because the charity benefits, and you benefit because of the tax write-off, but your guests don't gain anything.
Make the donation but do it quietly, it's much classier that way.
~Anne
You just don't have to announce it. I don't care about a favor, but I find announcing that "we took the money we'd spend on you and gave it to charity" to be AW-ish.
Interesting that I've never seen a bride come on and ask "I'm going to donate the money I'd spend on WP flowers to charity. How can I word that in the program?"
It's always the gift to the guests (and again, I could not possibly care less about favors) that is given to charity. If it really is to be a sacrifice, why NOT make it the cost of your flowers....or videographer....or champagne toast? Just sayin'.....
[QUOTE]Every favor that my fiance and I have ever gotten at every weding we have ever been to has either been thrown in a drawer or in the trash never to be seen again...with the exception of matchbooks and edible goods and sometimes even those have ended up never to be seen again. That being said, we have decided to take the money that we would spend on favors and donate it to two charities...the Heart Association in his daddys memory (his daddy died of a heart attack) and the Cancer Society in my Daddys memory (my daddy died of cancer) and include a note on the programs that this was done. Anyone with any opinions
Posted by shatrbug_2001[/QUOTE]
I think what you're doing is fantastic and think that you should announce your donation because you will, inevitably, have guests who are looking for some silly trinket at the end of the night. A donation to charity is WAY better, IMO.
[QUOTE]I disagree that you should keep it to yourself if you donate. I think it's in lieu of a favor, so the guests should know what happened to their favors! lol. If I went to a wedding with no favors, I wouldn't be sad, because overall i think favors are a waste of money, but I would think to myself...."hmm....cheap". lol. I think that if you make it cute, it works. IMO, since it's a substitution for a favor for each guest, each guest should receive something that tells them how important their presence at your wedding is, that thanks them, and that tells them that in their honor, donations are being made to charities that have personal meaning to you. I mean, a favor, at its heart, is meant to thank the guest for the effort they made in coming to your wedding. Don't overlook that. Even if you don't have a traditional favor, you still need to get the "thank you" across. So, what if at every other guest's seat, you placed a small note in the shape of a heart that matches your other wedding themes, thanking them and explaining the donation. Then, at all the other seats, you place a note with the logo of the cancer charity you're donating to (or a shape, but I can't think of one that would represent the cancer donation...maybe a ribbon?). That way, everyone gets thanked, and it's personal. I don't think it looks like you're giving yourselves a giant pat on the back. As a guest I would be happy to know that money was going to a good cause instead of to some trinket I'll just throw away when i get home.
Posted by hh581842[/QUOTE]
OH, and this is well said and a cute idea too.
My friend in lost her father to a heart attack as well and since the decided to do a donation in place of favors they put something at each table saying "Thank you for coming to our wedding. In lieu of favors we have made a donation to _____" I thought it was very sweet and didn't mind at all there wasn't a favor. No one said anything negative about the "favors" and all the guests pretty much knew about her father and thought it was great!
Really there is no reason to stress over it. Just decide and go on with life. People at your wedding know what kind of people you are normally so if your not a self praiser normally they probably won't think that's what you're doing.
June 2011 SiggyChallenge: Wedding Cake
[QUOTE]who is against a charity? lol. how can you be offended by a donation to a charity? This needs more explanation because I just don't see that.
Posted by hh581842[/QUOTE]
Not all charities do what they say they do. I NEVER donate to the Red Cross because of the compensation packages for their executives. I know people who are very, very disillusioned with Susan G. Komen and don't support that charity.
So yes, I wouldn't be thrilled with a "donation" in my honor to a charity that had activities and/or policies that I don't condone.
[QUOTE]who is against a charity? lol. how can you be offended by a donation to a charity? This needs more explanation because I just don't see that.
Posted by hh581842[/QUOTE]
PETA, ASPCA, I HATE those groups with a passion. So to me, those would not be a "favor"
I agree with what you say about the picture frame- etc. I think favors are stupid. They go in the trash or clutter up drawers/shelves. I would rather a couple use that money for another use, such as more alcohol! (ha!) I don't need a little trinket as a thank you or an appreciation gift. Their thank you for coming gift to me is the reception and the great night with great friends.
[QUOTE]On that note, i'm changing my cards to say, "in lieu of favors i have provided you with more alcohol. Enjoy!!!! hahaha I think my guests will like that. haha jk
Posted by hh581842[/QUOTE]
perfect. ha!
[QUOTE]I see nothing wrong with informing your guests that you're making a donation to a charity very important to you in their honor. My FI and I are doing this. I can't believe it's actually viewed as "tacky" by some of you! How is donating to a wonderful charity tacky? I'd love to know if a couple were doing this instead of a stupid wedding favor. I think it's a great thing to do! We opted however to do a little candy baggy so they have something sweet to take home, and then attach a tag to it stating we're donating to two very important charities to us in honor of our guests. The baggies and candy are still way cheaper then most favors are so we're doing a little of both (small favor and donations).
Posted by LindsyLove[/QUOTE]
Lindsy: then you're NOT doing an "in lieu of" favors. You're giving a favor. You're giving a bag of candy. So make your donation, give your guests their candy, but why do you feel the need to announce your donation? Make the candy bag. Make a little tag that says "Love is Sweet" and give it to your guests. That's plenty.
You can't really say "In lieu of a favor, we're giving you this favor and making a donation". It just doesn't make sense.
My fiance and I are going to donate our cash gifts to Make a Wish Foundation and we're also going to have a wishing well for any additional donations from attendees that may be made. But we are also giving a favor. Do you all think that is tacky?
Skip the Wishing Well thing: your wedding should never be a fundraiser, not matter how worthy the cause. I would definitely look askance at someone who was collecting for charity at their wedding.
As for the favor: I don't see why that would be a problem.