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Need Advice Groomsmen Issue

annanicole88annanicole88
in Wedding Party
So my fiancee and me have picked our wedding party, and he doesn't want his brother to be a groomsmen instead we asked him to be an usher, well his brother was fine with it, but his mother however was not... she has ranted constantly about it and I am not sure how to address this issue, we have tried to explain why he chose his best man and groomsmen (his best friend, his dad, and his grandfather) but the truth of the matter is him and his brother aren't that close and now his brother is saying he doesn't want to be in it... i need serious advice!!!
thanks guys!
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Re: Need Advice Groomsmen Issue

  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments

    The good news is that you don't have to address the issue.  Your FI is responsible for choosing his own wedding party.  If he's not close to his brother, and doesn't want him to be a GM, then that's his choice.  Of course, if it is his ONLY brother, and dad and grandfather are both in the wedding, I could see where he would feel slighted, although this sounds more like mom's issue than brother's issue. 

    Either way, it's up to FI to tell his mom to back off.  He may also want to have a heart to heart with his brother to see if he's really hurt about it, or if it's just mom starting drama.  If brother is truly hurt, I would add him to the wedding party, as interpersonal relationships and people's feelings are a lot more important than having even sides.

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    This = FI's problem, not yours.

    And just an FYI, it's:
    My FI and I (not my FI and me)
    Fiance, not fiancee (since he's a guy)
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ditto the other ladies.

    Your FI needs to address the issue to his mother.  He needs to say, "Mom, I chose who I want and this is how *I* want things.

    He needs to nicely but assertively let his mothe rknow that he's a grown adult and that he won't be pushed into things because that's how she wants them.    It's up for him to do though - just as it would be up to you to deal with issues with your family.
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  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    I also am going to agree with the girls that this isn't your issue to address it is your FI's.

    I have learned through many trials and errors that one does not have to explain to anyone why they did what they did. 

     In your decision who you selected to be in your WP, do not explain why you choose the people you did, you just simply say we choose who we choose and this is not up for further discussion. Stand together and support him has he confronts this issue with mother and brother.
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