What did you give your BMs as gifts?

hklinger · December 2009

I would like to give my girls something nice as a gift. Since I am having a formal wedding, and I would like to keep the costs down for them, I was thinking about giving them all gift cards that they can utilize the day of the wedding to get their hair, nails, makeup etc.. done....I am just concerned that some of my girls are frugal and won't spend the money on their own, or don't care.

mbcdefg · December 2009

It seems like you are mainly concerned with them looking nice for your wedding, correct? And it sounds like you are concerned that they will not spend the money on their own to get professional hair and makeup done. That is not really a gift for them in that case ... that's something to make your wedding photos look nicer.

If you want them to have pro hair and makeup, then that is your call, but you have to pay for it anyway in that case (if you are requiring it). And it does NOT count as their gift, since it's something for YOUR wedding and something that you are demanding/strongly encouraging them to do. If you leave it up to them, then they can pay, but you can certainly treat them if you wish.

If you go this route, give them something else in addition to that. Something personal and that you picked out with their interests in mind (rather than something that just makes your wedding look nicer). It doesn't have to be big or expensive, but get them a gift that's truly for them. Anything that centers around your wedding is not a gift for them.

To answer your question ... each of my BMs is getting a tote bag (not anything monogrammed - they're each in a pattern/style they would each like and they're not identical), a makeup bag and a book. I plan to give them each a gift card to a store they like, and might cover hair and/or makeup if I can afford it (I didn't require these services but they said they would like to get them done).

For my wedding, I bought them each a black evening clutch and also plan to buy them wraps. That's just so they have them if they wish to use them.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

If you require pro hair and make up, you have to pay for it. And it isn't a gift. It's a wedding expense.

I got my girls a little something interesting for them that reflected their interests and personalities. For ex, my BFF loves wine, so I got her some cute wine glasses and a nice bottle.

aerinpegadrak · December 2009

I'm paying for my BMs to get their hair done, because the logistics of everyone going to different salons or doing it on their own was just way too much to attempt to coordinate. They're on their own for makeup, and I'm not even getting my own nails done, so I don't remotely care about theirs.

For a gift, I'm getting each one a nice leatherbound edition of a book they would like, since they all like to read. I'd kind of like to get them each a copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales, but I flaked on the eBay bidding and only got two of the six I need, so the others may be getting a different book.

The best BM gifts are the ones that are something they would really enjoy and treasure, well after the wedding.

emilyinchile · December 2009

Mbc is wise. Don't worry about their costs because as she said, if you're requiring or requesting professional beauty, you need to pay for it as part of your budget and not as a gift for them. If you'd rather not pay for it, then don't stress - I'm sure they're adult women who know how to appropriately do their own hair and make-up (no one will be looking at their nails) for a formal event.

Shop for them like it's their birthdays and get them a present they'll each really enjoy as a real thank you!

LarissaAnn · December 2009

I got them each a piece of jewelry they'd like.

I didn't require hair/makeup for the wedding, and they each did their own thing. Only one got pro hair, and I bet if you look at my photos, you can't tell which one. None of us got pro makeup.

If you do require it, you need to pay for it outside of their gifts.

As for gifts, what do they like? Are they jewelry people? Would they love theater, movie, or concert tickets? Are they all about fancy soaps and lotions? Are they sports chicks who'd love tix or a jersey to their favorite teams? You know them.

megk8oz · December 2009

Ditto PPs, if you're actually requiring the hair and make-up day of (It kinda sounds like you are), then you have to pay for it ... and it doesn't count as the gift.

I'm letting my girls do whatever they want for hair and make-up, I'm getting my nails done, but there's like a billion places to go for that in my area, so I'm not even making an appointment, if my girls want that stuff, they can do it on their own. But with my wedding being so close to Christmas, I'm not hi-jacking anybody's schedule in the name of my "pretty pictures".

I did buy their jewelry, but that's not really a gift either, since they're wearing it for the wedding.

I'm getting them all $25 gift cards to a favorite store. I've been debating maybe putting it together with a coffe mug or something, but I'm still not sure. Money's kinda tight for me, and they all know that.

banana468 · December 2009

Remember, anything that you require for appearance other than the dress and maybe shoes (but I still don't love it) needs to be paid for by you.

If they'd use the salon anyway then a gift card there can be nice but IMO, the gifts need to be things that they'd love and appreciate like you're buying them something for Christmas or a birthday.

Remember, the gift is FOR them. Not for your wedding.

swim1011 · December 2009

Everyone else covered the hair, nails, etc, topic nicely, so moving on.. I'm making a bracelet for each of the girls (which they have all admitted to adoring- I wouldn't do it if they hadn't liked it), but it's not required for the wedding. They're actually all in different colors to fit each girls' preferences.

I'm also doing a couple little things, eg- one loves starbucks, so I'll probably do a nice mug from there and a gift card. Gift cards to some of their favorite stores for the others, as well.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_did-give-bms-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4ee75c23-1318-4c22-9d06-a086455f4782Post:f47b030a-8cd6-48d0-88fa-f0d3faf7b567">What did you give your BMs as gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to give my girls something nice as a gift. Since I am having a formal wedding, and I would like to keep the costs down for them, I was thinking about giving them all gift cards that they can utilize the day of the wedding to get their hair, nails, makeup etc.. done....I am just concerned that some of my girls are frugal and won't spend the money on their own, or don't care.
Posted by 8056734341257319[/QUOTE]

You're having a high-end wedding but want to give them cheaper gifts? Does not compute. If you're having a formal wedding, I'd expect a gift to match the formality of the event. Like a pearl bracelet, if they'd like that. Not a pair of movie tickets.

Some ideas I've seen other people do:

Concert tickets
Sports tickets
A bottle or wine or nice liquor with glasses, etc.
Restaurant gift certificates
Store gift certificate
iPods
Coach bags or other nice purses
Scarves, pashminas (not wedding related)
Tote bags filled with lots of smaller gifts

banana468 · December 2009

Msmerymac does bring up a great point.

If your wedding is a "high cost" affair then giving gifts that are knowingly low cost can come across as rather inappropriate.

aerinpegadrak · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_did-give-bms-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4ee75c23-1318-4c22-9d06-a086455f4782Post:5e726d75-86c5-49a7-a10e-c87ce1bd4c02">Re: What did you give your BMs as gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Msmerymac does bring up a great point. If your wedding is a "high cost" affair then giving gifts that are knowingly low cost can come across as rather inappropriate.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
Oh, definitely. If it's a full scale formal wedding where you're clearly spending a ton of money and the bridesmaids are getting cheap little trinkets, they're bound to be pretty resentful. Attendant gifts is one of the last places you should be cutting corners on the budget.

rubber_chicken · December 2009

the girls got swiss army knives, a flip bag and a pashmina. the guys got monogrammed beer mugs and a six pack of my husband's homebrew.

erin.kummer · December 2009

I got my girls necklaces. I work with a guy who custom designs jewelry on the side and he gave them to me for cost. They are simple sterling silver circle pendants with their 1st initial on it with a simple 18" chain. I wanted to get them something that they could wear more.

As for wedding day look, I took the route where they each picked a style in a color that I picked out. I'm letting them choose their shoes, jewelry, hair styles, etc. I want them to feel as comfortable as possible. I have been a bridesmaid too many times where the shoes are so uncomfortable and I feel ridiculous with my hair done the way she wanted it.

shelly.cody · December 2009

If you are requiring hair & make up then you should pay for it. That is not a gift at all. I'm not requiring it and completely trust my girls will look good.

My aunt makes these really cute tote bags. So each girl will have a different looking tote. The first letter of their name will be monogrammed onto the pocket. I'm also making them some jewelry and will be getting them some cute flip-flops.

abeagles2 · December 2009

I only have 2 bridesmaids and a flower girl, but I plan on paying for all of us to go get a pedicure/manicure together the day of the wedding as a fun time together. It is something practical and would be relaxing for the day.

tommyandy · December 2009

Megk8oz, Maybe you could give them a gift certificate for a day with you in the new year? If you do 1 BM per month it will ease the budget & you get a play date with a friend for dinner, drinks , a movie, shopping, etc.

writersblock2020 · December 2009

For hair and makeup, I'm bringing a few people to us. It will be easier and faster and truth be told, cheaper.

As gifts, I'm getting them waffle knit robes to gallivant around in day of and jewelry to wear day of, and you know, days after that too. But because the jewelry is part of their wedding attire, there's a really good chance they'll get something else too, not wedding related. I'm just not sure what that is yet.

trinadimitroff · December 2009

I'm putting together a little bag for my BP. In them, everyone gets their favourite bottle of perfume/cologne (I get a great deal). The ladies also get a chinese fan (for pictures), a pearl necklace (to wear the day of the wedding), and the parasol they are carrying the day of the wedding. The men will also get a shot glass, or something like that (for pictures).

The flower girls and ring bearer are each getting a little teddy bear wearing the same outfit as they are wearing, and carrying either a mini pomander, or little ring pillow.

thewayiam · December 2009

For my bridesmaids I got:

- Pearl/swarovski crystal necklaces & earrings. Yes they are
wearing them at the wedding but I picked them individually
so they suit their style for future use.

I also go them:
- Mirror compacts w/ swarvoski crystals
- pashminas
- cook books suiting their own tastes
- hot paws for their gloves and leg warmers for the outdoor
pictures (winter wedding)

I spent a lot, but they're spending a lot, too. I've been a bridesmaid and received the cheapest gifts and thought, "Nice of you to cheap out on the attendant gifts." I've also really appreciated jewelry that I can use practically. I hate jewelry that you wear once and not again.

My flower girls are being given:

- necklaces with charms
- books

rainedrop6 · December 2009

I got each of my girls a pink BM/MOH tote bag filled with a pink BM/MOH t-shirt (my girls love that kind of thing), slippers, necklace, bracelet, and earrings set (not for the wedding), a notepad, aromatherapy candle, and 5 full sized products from bath and body works in one of their favorite scents for their spa day gift. For their main gift, I got the 3 BM each a Coach wristlet in a color that suits their personality and a regular Coach purse for my MOH.

PS. I read OP as saying she wanted to keep the cost down for her bridal party, so THEY didn't have to spend so much, not that she wanted to keep the cost down for herself.

banana468 · December 2009

Rain, I also read the OP as trying to keep the costs down for her BMs.

However the way to do that isn't in the gifts. The way to do that is by not requiring too much of the BMs as a whole.

It's possible that they'd appreciate things like pre-wedding primping as presents but they're really more gifts for the bride than the BMs.

What did you give your BMs as gifts?

Re: What did you give your BMs as gifts?

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