RSVP issue

concerto47 · April 2010

Hi evveryone!

I"m finaliing my rsvps and I have a weird situation. My FMIL insisted on inviting a ton of people from their church to the wedding. My FI is saying that many of these people will only come to the wedding and not the reception. Is there a way to have guests indicate on the rsvp if they will attend both the ceremony and reception? I thought about doing a table with each person's name and they could check off Ceremony Reception beside it. Thoughts?

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

You post is confusing me, but I am thinking the gist is that you want a reception tally? Can't you do this by asking which meal they prefer and taking a cue from that?

sucrets4 · April 2010

Isn't the rsvp for the reception? It doesn't really matter who comes to the ceremony, unless there's a capacity issue.

katiewhompus · April 2010

Hmm I would think either put a meal choice, or just put a place for the ceremony and a place for the reception. I can see it being a pain if you get back 100 rsvp's yes who just attend the ceremony, and then you've paid for 100 empty seats for the reception.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

Yeah, the RSVP is for the reception, not the wedding.

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-issue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ad9e6c02-2604-43a5-b90c-8586272acb16Post:cc7e2417-0fb2-4b49-b396-d5d3c80e0996">Re: RSVP issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, the RSVP is for the reception, not the wedding.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Now I get why I was so confused. ::facepalm to myself::

squirrly · April 2010

Yup, MrsB is correct. However, I wouldn't expect very many people to realize that, honestly. The meal choice should help, if you have that. If you don't. . . FMIL should probably call them.

ericksb · April 2010

We included space for people to indicate if they were coming to the ceremony (limited seating space, which is why this is important), reception, and the festivities we're planning on for the following day. This way we'd have accurate counts for everything. They may have to write the same number three times, but at least we'll know who will be at what!

eav2c · April 2010

In the south, a lot of people only attend the ceremony. My best friend got married and over 100 people attend the ceremony and about 60 came to the reception. She was not pleased. I've seen this happen before too.

I would just put on the RSVP's a meal option... Have your FMIL talk to them let them know that there IS a reception following. Gaurenteed, some people will only attend the ceremony... But hopefully from word of mouth, they'll attend the reception.

mswood1977 · April 2010

We did an RSVP that asked about ceremony/reception becasue we had a similar issue and needed a count for both. We couldn't just use our meal choice because we aren't offering a meal choice, we are having a taco/nacho bar with a little bit of everythning instead of a sit down meal or traditional buffet. This is the wording we used:

Please respond by the first of May Name ______________________________________
Number of guests for the ceremony ____________
Number of guests for the reception ____________
____________________ Sorry, will not be attending

spinner84 · April 2010

I would do what MsWood suggested.

concerto47 · April 2010

Thanks everyone! You've been really helpful. I had never heard of people not coming to the reception before so this was new to me and I really didn't want to pay for a ton of people who wouldn't show up. (We're doing a buffet so the meal option wasn't going to help.)

sucrets4 · April 2010

I've seen the church thing done by offering a blanket invitation to the ceremony in the bulletin or something and only sending full invites to people who were invited to both.

Pirata13 · April 2010

So what if all these people DO come to the reception? Are you going to have space/seating issues? As far as I'm concerned anyone "welcome to come to the ceremony"--since it IS a public event and anyone can come to church--should be "invited" word of mouth. Or as a PP suggested, a note in the bulletin or something. I wouldn't send an invite to someone I don't have room for at the reception.

RSVP issue

Re: RSVP issue

Choose Another Board

Search Boards