Vent

MsAmeera25 · October 2011

I have 7 BMs who all make me sick! With the exception of my 16 year old sister and MOH. I told them 3 months ago we would be having a bridesmaid fitting to try on BM dresses see them all together since everyone is choosing a different styles and I wanted to make sure I like them together.

1 by 1 each of them has called me to tell me why they can't make it. From excuses about boys coming in town, wanting to sleep late, to the appt being to early. I took time off time from my job, paid for a plane ticket and flew to Florida from Atlanta for the damn fitting and these selfish bit**** can't even show up.

My MOH lives in TX and is flying down and these local chicks can't give me one hour?? Seriously.

This may be out of anger but I have decided to cut ALL of them and just have my MOH and sister.

The worst part of the planning has been bridesmaids and their drama and I refuse to endure it for another second.

I'm so sick of them.

mahoganieyes · October 2011

That's crazy. You have to remain sane and if that mean cutting people, then do so. I refused to have a big bridal party. DH wanted every cousin, friend in the wedding and I kept my bm to a minimum, no matter how people he added to his side. He had 3 bestmen, 2gm and 1 usher(1 usher dropped out last minute). I refused to put up with all the headache with girls. Believe me dh guys had him spazzing months till the wedding. One waited 1 month to the wedding to finally send in his measurement for his tux, and all his guys with the exception of 1 is local.

wallacje · October 2011

Girl, you have every right to be pissed. They only need to show up for an hour to be apart of one of the biggest days in your life. Cutting them is totallly acceptable and if that is what you want to do then by all means go for it. Less drama for you to deal with in the long run.

Its going to be okay, now that you are only have 2 women to deal with, things should be a lot calmer.

Keep it moving for sure!!

[Deleted User] · October 2011

Cut them.....that is totally ridiculous! You have every right to be upset, it is incredible that you and the MOH can find the time to fly in, and local ladies cannot afford you an hour! How early can the fitting be? Most stores aren't open until 10am.

Don't let them stress you out.

PrettyCW5 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:89570f28-3f51-4726-bd93-33772304a0eaPost:9e569516-2e45-4de9-9d22-8b0c7e520333">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Cut them.....that is totally ridiculous! You have every right to be upset, it is incredible that you and the MOH can find the time to fly in, and local ladies cannot afford you an hour! <strong>How early can the fitting be? Most stores aren't open until 10am. Don't let them stress you out.
</strong>Posted by cassy1294[/QUOTE]

All of this but especially the part in bold!

Born2bmrscenteno · October 2011

Girl! Cut em quick, fast, and in a hurry. I've only had small drama going on with my BM's (all out of town) and I ignore it mostly and/or let my MOH handle it. Brides have the whole wedding to worry about, the last thing you need is to add more stress over some people who should be making the process easier for you. I'm sorry you actually flew to another city and they still couldn't make it. Just use their lack of concern as an early sign that says "Giveth us free!". I would be a little sad, but then wouldn't even look back. I've found that even some married BM's just are not helpful or as supportive as you thought they'd be.

alpresberry · October 2011

You have every right to be angry, but please consider taking a couple days to think about this before you cut them. I don't know the nature of your relationships with your BM's, but cutting them from your wedding will probably also sever the friendship, so just keep that in mind when you make your decision.

ONE, I only have a MOH and her behind decides to tell me she is not going to look for dresses unil January because her weight fluctuates too much. January? Really? The wedding is in May and the dress has to be ordered, altered etc. Plus I told her that David's Bridal will allow here to swap sizes one time if her weight changes. I am just rolling with the punchs right now cause I have bigger fish to fry and if her dress is not ready in time...her behind won't be in the wedding. Good luck.

ejagers · October 2011

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I don't know what it is about weddings that makes people stuck on stupid. Even though I feel your pain right now, I do agree with alpresberry about taking a day or two to think about it. And I also feel like "one monkey don't stop the show!" I hope you feel better now that you have vented b/c sometimes you need to just say what/how you feel. I hope things get better and I pray that your BM get their acts together before they are non- existent.

Carla1019 · October 2011

I am so sorry! This is terrible. I agree that you should allow yourself to calm down and make the decision to cut them or not when you are not upset. Have you explained to them how important it is that they make it.

Sometimes we assume that people know what is involved in being a good bridesmaid. But half the time they don't.

Hopefully everything works out for you.

djscat · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:89570f28-3f51-4726-bd93-33772304a0eaPost:cb867131-3aeb-44a1-a51f-51989bc419e3">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>You have every right to be angry, but please consider taking a couple days to think about this before you cut them. I don't know the nature of your relationships with your BM's, but cutting them from your wedding will probably also sever the friendship, so just keep that in mind when you make your decision</strong>. .
Posted by alpresberry[/QUOTE]

THIS!!! Take a step back and breath. I would call them again and explain the situatioin to them. How you are flying in and this is the only chance they have to try the dress on for you. Explain if they miss that chance then you don't know how would it be possible for them to be in the wedding in a dress you haven't seen. That way they have a choice to be in the wedding or not. Hopefully they will get it and do the right thing. If they don't then it is on them and they are out.

island07b2b · October 2011

Do what you have to do. Cut em! All of the excuses are lame and their behavior makes no sense at all.

MsAmeera25 · October 2011

Thanks for the advise ladies....I really needed to vent....I'm still thinking it over but I'm still leaning towards cutting them lol

teamUS2012 · October 2011

I think if you cut them all, except your sister, before any money is spent, it probably won't ruin the friendship. You can just explain that you've decided to have a really small WP. I doubt they would take it personally if they know they're not being singled out. I had two acquaintances to get married last year and each of them had 40 person WPs, not including ushers and attendants. It got to the point where they ended up replacing drop-outs with people they barely knew just to keep the numbers in line. I wasn't engaged at the time, but I knew at that moment that if I ever got married, I only wanted people who were closer than close to me. My side of the WP will consist of 3 of my 4 sisters, 2 cousins, and one childhood friend. It'll be much smaller than what others do, but I don't care. I don't handle stress well. I think you should cut them. They obviously don't take your wedding very seriously.

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