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Catholic Weddings

Catholic Readings & Music

Hi Ladies -

I've hit a road block in my wedding planning, due to our ceremony plans. 

I hope that I do not offend anyone, as this is not my intention, but I really need some guidance.  I was raised Catholic, however have not been religious for years... and actually feel very disconnected from the church. My father, who I am not very close with, but who is paying for the wedding, basically told me I must get married in a Catholic church.  Ok fine.... My fiance and I met with a priest, who is really great, and somewhat liberal (exactly what we are looking for). 

However...

After meeting with the him, I learned that I could not have a Paul McCartney song played as I walk down the isle or an E.E. Cummings poem read during the ceremony... because all music and readings must be religious.  I am very upset.  I had the entire ceremony planned in my head and must now move on. 

With the being said, does anyone have any ideas for readings or music that can be incorporated into a Catholic ceremony, but are not very conservative?

Also, I hope that I am not offending anyone by talking about the conflicts I have had with religion.  I completely respect everyone's religious beliefs here. 
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Re: Catholic Readings & Music

  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I believe the readings and music are determined, bottom line, by the priests.  Some allow secular music, some not.

    Best is to check with the priest who will be marrying you as everyone here comes from different churches and parishs.

    Good luck!
  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks!  I have spoken with the priest, and we are actually allowed to have any readings or music we want... as long as they are religious.  I just don't even know where to start... especially with music. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Ask to be put in touch with the people who usually handle the parish's music, even if you might not use them for your wedding. They will have resources of what's permitted and familiar to them.

    I'm not quite sure what "religious" means, either. The parish should have hymnals and other books of approved music you should ask to borrow. You can go to a major library and look at more (usually in the music, not religion, section).

    For poetry, even public libraries have books of Christian verse. Or look at your usual poetry books and google the authors. Lots and lots of poetry is religious.
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    If there's a particular song you want that's not in the book, ask.

    The Wedding Song was not in the book but it was allowed.
  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi dsimone - I have some ideas for you, but I don't feel like typing them out on my phone. I'll check back in in the morning. Don't stress! You'll get it figured out.
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  • Nickie431Nickie431 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There's a hymnal published by OCP (a Catholic music publisher) called Spirit and Song that many parishes use for youth Masses.  Its songs are all more contemporary, including some folk-type music and music from a variety of cultures.  Even if the parish where you are getting married doesn't use this hymnal and the music director or parish wedding coordinator is resistant, a more liberal priest shouldn't have objections to you using selections from this hymnal, and he has the veto power.  You can also choose which instruments to have played, such as acoustic guitar rather than the traditional organ.

    As far as readings, you are restricted to the selections the Catholic Church offers, all from Scripture, but you could always have a secular piece read at your reception, displayed at the reception, or have that favorite e.e. cummings verse printed on cocktail napkins.

    Best wishes!
    "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" (Isaiah 43:1)
  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    More than likely, you will need to choose from selections that are liturgically approved.  Each diocese may offer some flexibility within that framework.  For example, our church allowed the song, "One Hand, One Heart" from West Side Story. 

    This website may get you started in the right direction:
    http://catholicweddinghelp.com/

    In addition, when you start your classes with the parish, you should receive a booklet that offers additional resources in which to make your musical and scriptural selections.  The musicians from the musical ministry should be able to offer suggestions as well.
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    "For example, our church allowed the song, "One Hand, One Heart" from West Side Story.  "

    Haha... that is awesome!  I love that movie and that song.  I am surprised it was approved, but I would trust the priest's judgment!


    I know it's frustrating when a song you like gets shut down.  I'm sure you'll be able to find some other music that you like though.  And you can play your McCartney song at the reception and have your poem in your program!  

    Also, I would never discourage anyone from getting married in the Church, but I only hope that it does have some significance for you.  All Catholics have periods where they have doubts or questions about the faith, so I wouldn't fret that.  But I do hope that you're content marrying in the Church because your ceremony should at least partially reflect who you and FI are, not just what your Dad wants.

    Good luck in planning!

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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay, I'm back.

    My first question for you is what will you have in terms of musicians?  Organist?  Pianist?  Vocalists?  Anything else?  This will dictate some of my music suggestions.

    In terms of readings, my H is not particularly religious, so he wanted biblical readings that also reflected his views.  We were given a booklet called "Together for Life" by our Church with suggestions for the various readings to make things a bit less complicated.  You should ask your Church if you can get one of those.  We got all of our readings from that book, and our readings were centered on the couple as well as hospitality.

    First Reading (Old Testament Reading, click to make bigger):



    Second Reading (New Testament Reading):



    I'm not finding a scanned copy of our gospel right now, but it was the one about "A Wise Man Built His House on Rock".
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  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You guys are the best!! You just made me feel so much better!  Nickie, what a great idea to have the poem printed on napkins!  monkeysip, the program idea is so great too. LOVE "One Hand, One Heart".  My dad actually used to play that on the piano when we were kids. 

    I asked the priest if we could meet next week to talk about all this more in depth, so we'll see what happens.  My sister's boyfriend and his friend will be playing the piano and sax during the ceremony, so it's already very meaningful and special.  I think i just got so stuck on being disappointed.  Thanks for helping me through that :-)
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Come back after your meeting :).

    Are you looking for any hymns to be sung at your wedding?  If you are, ask the priest what hymnals the Church has.  If I'm familiar with the one(s) they have, I can give you some suggestions based on the overall theme you want for your wedding.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, docta! Will let you know.  Love the flowers in your picture btw!
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_catholic-readings-music?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:b75a799a-a924-44d5-9b70-d2f7cce150dbPost:6294f085-28ff-4564-9e3a-34ac292cfd87">Re: Catholic Readings & Music</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks, docta! Will let you know.  Love the flowers in your picture btw!
    Posted by dsimone43[/QUOTE]

    Thanks!  They were red tulips, red alstromeria, orange asiatic lillies, and purple mokara orchids.  I am not a pastel person at all, lol.
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  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Me either!  Or a rose person!
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_catholic-readings-music?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:b75a799a-a924-44d5-9b70-d2f7cce150dbPost:17061ed0-d230-4ec8-9e86-e63fa83ddc3a">Re: Catholic Readings & Music</a>:
    [QUOTE]Me either!  Or a rose person!
    Posted by dsimone43[/QUOTE]

    Okay, we are officially the same person.  My two guidelines were no pink and no roses.  The florists looked at me like I was crazy.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    HAHA! Me too!  No pink.  No roses.  NO bows. 
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    What are your colors?
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  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am thinking... a deep aqua with burnt red and charcoal grey/black.  what do you think?  i am still finalizing all that.  My date is 10/6/12 so I want the colors to be rich, but still calming.  When did you get married?  What were your colors?
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I always thought I should be a fall bride because those are the types of colors I prefer :).  But I didn't think they were right for spring (tail end of April), so I went with bright colors instead.  My BM dresses were cherry red, and they had very colorful bouquets (below, click to make bigger).  I love your color suggestions for your wedding - they sound very rich, and I would totally pair deep reds/violets with deep turquoise dresses.


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  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Look great, docta!! So vibrant! I LOVE those bridesmaids dresses.  Where did you find them? I like the groomsmen too.  They look awesome. 

    I actually made an inspiration board - trying to get all these thoughts organized.
    http://www.theknot.com/inspiration-boards/Gallery/Details/67996
    Let me know what you think if you can.  The pink dress at the bottom is what my little sister (MOH) would wear... while I don't like pink, she loves it and I thought it would be really fun and kind of retro looking. 
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The BM dresses were Jordan Bridals 642T.  Unfortunately I think they discontinued that particular style, but I'm sure you could find another one like it.  We got them from Brides by Demetrios (smaller national chain).

    I like your inspiration board.  I really like the color of the shoes for the deep aqua/turquoise.  I think it's gorgeous for fall.  Paired with deep red would be beautiful......  I think your sister could get away with a fuschia dress, but I would probably pick either fuschia or deep red (my vote would be for red)..... they might clash a little too much otherwise if she had a pink dress with red flowers.......  or just really look like Valentine's day!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the awesome feedback, docta.  And you are right about all the reds... pinks (ew) becoming too Valentines Day-y.  I think once I look at flowers and dresses I'll have more of an idea of what I want.

    And thanks again for the music/readings help.  I'll come back after I meet the priest.
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  • heath1026heath1026 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    OP: We just met with our ceremony musician and we are having "Blessed the Broken Road" played because this song was written by a Christian group before Rascal Flatts made it popular.  Not sure if that will help you.  Good luck!

  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, Jacks!  What a great song! I am coming up with a list of songs for approval.  So far I have Amazing Grace and Oh Happy Day.  We'll see!
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  • dsimone43dsimone43 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hey there!

    Thanks again for everyone's help!  I met with the priest on Wednesday about music and readings.  I have a few in mind for both now... thanks to you :-)

    XOXO
    DS
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