Vent thread anyone?

Zimsgirl · December 2011

Feel like we haven't done one in a while and I kinda need one. I know this shouldn't bother me but last night I was talking to some of you about the ex-bm I tried to clear things up with. She sent back an insincere message and I was hurt. I figured we'd leave it at that. I was searching for another friend with the same name and accidentally clicked on hers. She deleted me! I know it shouldn't bother me but it feels crappy that she deleted me because I wanted to clear the air so we could be around each other if we had to be and my FI could be friends with her bf again. FI was talking to her bf some so idk what happened...

end vent sorry

tyleet87 · December 2011

Zim, I can imagine how hard it is for your right now. In the past 2 years I let go of my very BEST friend and another good friend I've known since i was 4 years old. (For good reasons though) I never in a million years thought they wouldn't be my MOH and BM at my wedding and now they are not even in my life.

I know you feel bad that your FI lost a friend as well but if he hasn't said anything about it, maybe it doesn't really bother him? You can always let your FI know that you don't mind if they remain friends and encourage him to make contact. He'll either go for it or probably doesn't mind that they aren't friends anymore.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vent-thread-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8cb5bfd8-e7da-40f4-b607-5f525d2a305dPost:c6ec41bb-0d8f-47b7-ba59-391bb4383cc9">Re: Vent thread anyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Zim, I can imagine how hard it is for your right now. In the past 2 years I let go of my very BEST friend and another good friend I've known since i was 4 years old. (For good reasons though) I never in a million years thought they wouldn't be my MOH and BM at my wedding and now they are not even in my life. I know you feel bad that your FI lost a friend as well but if he hasn't said anything about it, maybe it doesn't really bother him? You can always let your FI know that you don't mind if they remain friends and encourage him to make contact. He'll either go for it or probably doesn't mind that they aren't friends anymore.
Posted by tyleet87[/QUOTE]
They've already started talking again. That's what makes it even more weird that they're being friends again but she deleted me on fb.

calindi · December 2011

Yeah, that sucks. Sometimes it's best to take some cordial time apart. Just because you're no longer facebook friends doesn't mean you can't be perfectly amiable when you do see each other, so keep trying to be the bigger person! It sucks sometimes for sure.

My vent is my job vs. my puppy. I'm so lucky that I can bring my dog into work, but since she refuses to walk on the leash at all (we joke that we're taking Sasha for a "drag" rather than a "walk" since she passively resists like an Occupy Wall Street protestor getting arrested), the only way to exercise her is to take her outside and play.

And there's always other dogs in the park where I can take her near work, and she's super hyper/nippy since she's a pup and has too much energy (my fault, I know, since she's stuck in my office). The other dog owners very rarely have their dogs on leashes, so they come up to play with Sasha, and then she nips them, and then they get aggressive, and I have to step in between. It's really a terrible cycle, and she so badly wants to play with them.

Even the puppies that do play with her, she's so much rougher! I really want to give her more exercise, but right now it's not possible during the week. Hopefully when FI is done with finals he can have her during the day and get her running around more!

Today she wasn't done playing, and was "dog on crack" and crazy nippy, running around like a nutcase. And a dog came and got aggressive, so I picked her up, and then she just wanted to play, so she flailed around trying to get free. Finally, she bit me hard on the nose and I dropped her on instinct. I felt terrible - she yelped for about 10 seconds, and I just felt like crap for dropping her, but part of me hopes she'll learn that biting people has consequences, ya know?

Anyway, I'm a bad doggie parent today, and looking forward to playing with her more tomorrow in a constructive way so she gets some of that energy out!

tyleet87 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vent-thread-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:8cb5bfd8-e7da-40f4-b607-5f525d2a305dPost:de10545a-065f-4892-82b3-01608ae76202">Re: Vent thread anyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent thread anyone? : They've already started talking again. That's what makes it even more weird that they're being friends again but she deleted me on fb.
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

Hard to admit, but maybe she's just 'done'. Pretty sure she'll be cordial to you in the future if you happen to run into each other but it sounds like she's just closed this chapter. I'm sorry. *hugs*

tyleet87 · December 2011

Cal - Be lucky she's still a puppy and can be taught/grow out of this behavior. I have a mini poodle that is literally crazy. We say she's satan's spawn. She will bite, jump, run into anyone that is in her way. We keep her inside.

Her name is Fifii Las Vegas.

AmandaSC1988 · December 2011

Zim - My Ex Best friend and I went through a reallllly rough patch where she and I blocked each other on FB. 3 months later, we aren't best friends anymore, but I would talk to her if I saw her. Give it some time, I'm sure it will get better.

Cal - Suggestion for the "not walking on a lead" part.

Step 1:Leave the leash on ALL THE TIME. Let her drag it around, get used to the feeling of it.

Step 2: After she is walking around like normal with it for a few days, start picking up the end of the leash and follow HER around for a few days.

Step 3: When she is running around comfortably, dragging you everywhere... start putting up a little resistance. She wants to run into the street...stop her

Step 4: Then you start to take the lead, go where you want (but don't pull her) when she follows you reward her with lots of love and treats. Also keep in mind bribery works wonders.

I don't have any vents, this is a pretty awesome day.

amh04 · December 2011

no real vent here. I just got done clipping coupons that I was behind on, I think the only thing I have to vent about is not having someone to do wedding shopping with. I have a wedding filled weekend and I feel a little guilty about dragging FI around. Oh I'm also a little angry that men's warehouse doesn't have an actual tux for FI to try on so I can actually see what it will look like.

zims- I'm really sorry! Its hard loosing a friendship. Hang in there.

Danidawn20 · December 2011

I don't have anything to vent about, but Amanda do you have ideas for puppies that just aren't getting the idea of potty traing. MY dog is a rescue dong about a year old, and any time thier is a chang ein my work schedule or school schedule we have accidents in the house.

LetsHikeToday · December 2011

Dani- do you crate?

Danidawn20 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vent-thread-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8cb5bfd8-e7da-40f4-b607-5f525d2a305dPost:41e8ff72-4d4d-48a4-9ba6-91d0b0ccc674">Re: Vent thread anyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Dani- do you crate?
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>No- The human society found out he is terrible afraid of them They think his old owner might of used it to punish him. I tried it for about a month, and his accidents were much much worse than just letting him run around the house. It's like the minute he was in a crate he lost complete control of his bowels and then he whined and cried nand if you went by the crate he would croutch and back away. My heart couldn't take is, so I don't crate him. </div>

MrsOjoButtons · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vent-thread-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8cb5bfd8-e7da-40f4-b607-5f525d2a305dPost:b1bb6335-2941-4c86-9e97-7f339d4870e4">Re: Vent thread anyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent thread anyone? : No- The human society found out he is terrible afraid of them They think his old owner might of used it to punish him. I tried it for about a month, and his accidents were much much worse than just letting him run around the house. It's like the minute he was in a crate he lost complete control of his bowels and then he whined and cried nand if you went by the crate he would croutch and back away. My heart couldn't take is, so I don't crate him.
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Hi! I lurk over here and am Stan's partner in law abiding activities.</div><div>
</div><div>It sounds like your pup is having anxiety issues moreso than potty training issues. When the anxiety issue is resolved, the potty issue will likely follow suit. I have a dog with diagnosed OCD, separation anxiety, and noise anxiety. He's on a few prescriptions because he self-harms, and to be honest, he's so attached to me that he's been known to have a diarrhea attack all over my house when I go out of town.</div><div>
</div><div>He used to be a real mess when his schedule was off, but we've been able to minimize it with NILIF. I'm not sure if you already do that, but if not, it generally helps build confidence because they understand they have a secure place in your pack and they understand your guidance. They comprehend their "job". We also do puzzles, play hide and seek, teach lots of new tricks (he knows "show me what you want!", "Touch", and can ride a skateboard). We also play Through a Dog's Ear music CDs and have great success with DAP diffusers. ThunderShirts are kind of "meh", but they're worth a shot when your dog is miserable.</div><div>
</div><div>If those things don't improve your pup's quality of life, take her to vets, even if you have to take her to five vets, to find one who's willing to try a low dose of medication. My first vet insisted Rescue Remedy would help my dog. It took my husband leaving for a weekend and my dog clawing off his cheeks (literally, he was a bloody mess) for my vet to take me seriously. I wish I would have pushed harder much sooner. We moved and I found a new vet, a better vet. </div><div>
</div><div>Good luck. I know it's not easy and it's so heartbreaking to know just how much they need companionship, even when we can't give it to them. My vet keeps telling me she doesn't know many people who would keep working with a dog like mine, most banish their poor dogs to the yard or dump them for dead. You're a good pet owner for trying to improve her quality of life.</div><div>
</div>

Danidawn20 · December 2011

This may sound stupid but I tried to google it and couldn't find anything. What is NLIF?

firemedicrr · December 2011

The perfect dog system totally changed my dog. He was hyper and crazy and drug people around and jumped and so on and so forth until I went to that system. Best 60 dollars I've ever spent.

My rant is that I really don't want to spend alllll day today studying, but I need to. I just wish my head didn't hurt

Otherwise, this has been a pretty good week. FI and I had a skype dinner date last night and we played scrabble (well, words with friends). I'm glad that we both do the best we can as far as still having "dates" when we aren't together. Last night was a lot of fun- I think we both needed a night where we weren't talking about the wedding or our plans for the next year and how we can afford to make it all happen.

Zeldakins · December 2011

We have a dog that my roommate recently rescued that has the WORST crate anxiety. We had to give it away so that she could even have normal bowel movements and her training has improved tenfold. We've been using a system of positive reinforcement and clicker training and she's really caught on. She also no longer tugs on the leash and tries to knock you down the stairs (we live on the second floor and the tugging turned dangerous on the stairs) and recently she's gotten to the point to where she no longer needs the leash in order to go outside and potty.
We also think that she may have lived in the crate she had for the past year. The guy who gave her up to us had gotten out of a relationship this previous year and his ex-fiance dumped her dog on him. The friend who we have the crate away to told us that she had found dried up pee and feces in the crate when she was cleaning it out. This really made us sad for our poor Daisy and the way she was living....but it did explain her anxiety issues.

calindi · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_vent-thread-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8cb5bfd8-e7da-40f4-b607-5f525d2a305dPost:0d228b53-c94d-47df-b3ca-85ace611e95f">Re: Vent thread anyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]This may sound stupid but I tried to google it and couldn't find anything. What is NLIF?
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

"Nothing in life is free"

<a href="http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm" rel='nofollow'>http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm</a>

I've read about it, and trying to implement it, but FI is more of the "oh, it's fine" mentality when it comes to dog training. He breaks all the rules I try so hard to create. It's driving me nuts! We have an agreement that after his finals, he will read all the literature I've read and we'll discuss how we're going to train her going forward. Because if he seriously keeps undermining me, I'm going to kill that man.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

I have another vent today. My FMIL likes to fight me on wedding things. First it was because I wasn't make her 12 year old daughter a bm now it's the dress. Non bm's and gm's are wearing green (ushers, my mom, etc) FSIL is doing a reading I want her to wear green and she found a really cute dress. They sent me a pic after they bought it and I said it was really pretty and would work great. Today she sent me a pic of FSIL in a long pink dress asking what I thought. I said I'd prefer her to wear the green because it's prettier and I don't want too much pink in photos. She was like well the green makes her look like she's going to puke...just the most ridiculous comebacks. I told her I think she found a great dress and think she should quit looking. She said that's fine and she'll wear it as long as it fits (we're 6 months out so it should) I'm just annoyed she's fighting me on everything ugh!

Vent thread anyone?

Re: Vent thread anyone?

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