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The wedding headache

kgg6kgg6
First Anniversary First Comment
in Snarky Brides
Hi! Just looking for a few tips, and maybe to vent a little :)

I knew that a big wedding would be a headache. I asked my fiance if we could elope right after he proposed, but he pointed out how wonderful it would be to have family all around. That was valid, so we started planning a big family wedding.

His family has been pretty cold about the whole thing. Ironically, it would have been more their style for us to have a cheap elopement. They are also Catholic, so our Jewish wedding is very difficult for them. I live far from my family, so my mom cannot help me plan. It's all overwhelming. My fiance is not doing the brunt of the planning or the ideas (common, I think). We are both horribly scatternbrained, and missed another appointment today. I was just not wired for this sort of thing. Its only a few months away so it'll all be over soon, and its all almost paid for... but what do you guys do when you get to this point? The wedding is driving you crazy, how to make the cold in-laws happy, all of it?

 It's all paid for, so now I do have to just grin and bear it. I'm hoping someone else has some thoughts on how to relax or better enjoy it all! I'll be so glad to be married to him. I just wish I'd spoken up sooner and done it on a smaller scale.
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Re: The wedding headache

  • kgg6kgg6
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thank you -- that is excellent advice. Yes, we have all the major bases covered. The little details really don't matter (I just can't believe the sheer number of little details that pop up!). I'll hope that my in-laws adjust to everything, but I need to stop worrying so much about what they think. I appreciate your response!


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_the-wedding-headache?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a45f2f2a-1cf2-4184-847a-f05cc61fdd40Post:7553881d-d098-4065-a586-8a2ff3af1ac2">Re: The wedding headache</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you have a venue?  A plan for food and drinks to appropriately host your guests?  An officiant, and a plan in place to get your marriage license?  If so, you have everything you need.  There's no reason to stress over anything else.  Relax, breathe, and enjoy the next few months with your Fi.  If you're stressing about it, you're doing it wrong. You won't be able to make his family happy, so stop trying.  Stop talking wedding with them.  Send them the invitation and accept that it might not be what they want, but you can't do anything else to appease them. 
    Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]
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  • jennylee813jennylee813 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yes, kwith is right - as long as you have a venue and someone to marry you, everything else is gravy. You can't please everyone, stop trying. 

    Enjoy the day you marry the love of your life. THAT'S what it's about; not about the flowers, the centerpieces or the flower girl crying during the ceremony.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_the-wedding-headache?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a45f2f2a-1cf2-4184-847a-f05cc61fdd40Post:09aeff59-075c-468e-8e1f-204fcdc66df9">The wedding headache</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi! Just looking for a few tips, and maybe to vent a little :) I knew that a big wedding would be a headache.<strong> I asked my fiance if we could elope right after he proposed, but he pointed out how wonderful it would be to have family all around. </strong>That was valid, so we started planning a big family wedding. His family has been pretty cold about the whole thing. Ironically, it would have been more their style for us to have a cheap elopement. They are also Catholic, so our Jewish wedding is very difficult for them. I live far from my family, so my mom cannot help me plan. It's all overwhelming.<strong> My fiance is not doing the brunt of the planning or the ideas (common, I think)</strong>. We are both horribly scatternbrained, and missed another appointment today. I was just not wired for this sort of thing. Its only a few months away so it'll all be over soon, and its all almost paid for... but what do you guys do when you get to this point? The wedding is driving you crazy, how to make the cold in-laws happy, all of it?  It's all paid for, so now I do have to just grin and bear it. I'm hoping someone else has some thoughts on how to relax or better enjoy it all! I'll be so glad to be married to him. I just wish I'd spoken up sooner and done it on a smaller scale.
    Posted by kgg6[/QUOTE]
    Common, but not okay. He was the one who talked you out of eloping. He needs to help more.
    As pp said, you have the major stuff done. Sit back, relax, and stop worrying about what his family is going to think. If they say anything to you, redirect them to your fiance.
    image
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  • JillianNJohnJillianNJohn
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Deep breath. U can do this!! If u don't already I suggest buying a simple wedding planner. I love mine and it keeps my thoughts together. ... And the millions of post its I write on lol. 1 thing at a time. A wedding organizer can help u stay in order too. I mark off what's not relevant and just keep going Hang in there! U can do it!!!
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