Children/ and Guest

ashleysagep · February 2010

I am wondering what everyones opinons were on children at the reception. I have 1 son and would like him and my nieces and nephews at the ceremony and in photos but dont know what to do about the reception...
Option 1. No children
Option 2. Figure out a way to say, children ok at the ceremony, but please find a sitter for the reception
Option 3. Offer Childcare ( Paid For)
Option 4: Offer Childcare (ask them to pay)

There doesnt seem like a good way to handle this, HELP!

Also I am wondering what everyones doing about "and guest" are you offering this to every single person invited to the wedding? Age limite? single people who are invited with family (example I have a 20 something yr old cousin whos single and lives at home, he will get invited with my aunt and uncle....does he get an and guest?)

UGH HELP

ac_in_dc · February 2010

If you want them at the ceremony and in pictures, then you need to include them in the reception.

You can pay for childcare at the reception and put the kids off of the main room, but I'm not even sure if it's OK to require that parents warehouse their kids in a side room at the reception.

I think it may be better just not to invite kids, period. You can always get cute photos at the holidays or something.

Oh, and "and guest" is a must for people in long-term serious relationships, but for single folks it's up to you whether you want to invite them with a guest. And of course there's frequently a grey area around what constitutes a serious relationship.

shellydiane820 · February 2010

I say 1 or 3.

ohwhynot · February 2010

I'd have to agree. The kids want the party, not the ceremony, so if you're only having them there as a photo op, I'd probably advise you to have a "no kids" policy. Your own son can be an exception to that rule.

We're just allowing all families who care to to bring their kids. Some will, some won't.

Of all your options listed, in my opinion the least acceptable is to offer care but expect the parents to pay for it.

cukimerrydoll · February 2010

I went to all of my aunt's and uncle's weddings... we never had a babysitter at any of them, we were always treated like the other guests (My sister and I were born before any of my parent's siblings even got married, so we went to all of their weddings).

But you could offer them an extra favor to give them a little something to do - you could make a few little coloring books with engagement pictures or pictures of your pets and give them some crayons - in case they aren't feeling the dancing part.
We're bringing Guitar Hero or Rockband, since most of my cousins are in the 8-15 range, they don't need a "babysitter," but something extra for them is always good. We've always just looked after each other and behaved well in public.

I'm just inviting my cousins, they aren't getting a +1, but if they were over age 18, I would consider it.

SaraAndrew2010 · February 2010

We are having a kid-free reception and will only be sending invitations addressed to the adults. It's common practice in my extended family and my FI's that when the reception is adults only, families are welcome to bring their kids to the ceremony. We've had several relatives mention that although they know the reception is for adults, they will bring their kids to the ceremony and that is fine with FI and me.

It works for us because our relatives are all local and will drop kids off with babysitters or in-laws between the ceremony and reception (most of their houses are between the ceremony and reception sites).

However, in this type of situation I think you have to leave it up to parents to choose whether or not to bring their kids to the ceremony. Although we are spreading by word of mouth that kids are ok at the ceremony, I would specifically request that they bring kids.

Sarah-Jean · February 2010

We aren't invited children to our wedding. If you do, I like the child care idea-but the one where you pay, not ask the guests to pay for it.

We are letting our single friends have a +1, but not FI's five cousins that range from 15-20. None of them are in relationships, and they're all really close so we know they will all be fine hanging out together.

squirrly · February 2010

The ceremony and reception are a package deal. If they're invited to one, they need to be invited to the other. Offering childcare is nice, but not all parents will utilize a babysitter they don't know. So - if you REALLY don't want them at the reception, just don't invite kids to anything. Obviously, what you do with your son is up to you and can be handled differently than others, but that is the ONLY exception.

sarabellam · February 2010

It's okay to invite only your own child plus the children of siblings. If your son is the only child there, he will be bored shitless.

krmabojo · February 2010

I say no kids. No one under 18. This is going to save FI and I lots of money.

amlaplante · February 2010

So pretty much you just want the kids to look cute in the pictures? Unfortunately, if the kids are in pictures and are at the ceremony you can't say they aren't allowed at the reception. That's just rude. You can however offer childcare at your reception, but you can't expect every parent to use it and you can't expect them to pay for it. If you don't want kids there you need to have a completely kid-free wedding, including pictures and the ceremony.

ashleysagep · February 2010

Okay I think the post came off differently than I meant it. I dont JUST want the children there to look pretty in the pictures....

I guess its probably better to not invite children other than our siblings children and I will offer childcare for them at our home which is close to the reception site.

Thanks for your input.

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