No Flower Girl or Ring Bearer?

knover06 · July 2012

Any thoughts on not having a flower girl or ring bearer? Thinking about going without...

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

You absolutely don't have to have either. If you aren't close with any younger boys or girls, it would make sense to not have them. We had a FG because we are pretty close to our friend's little girl, but no RB.

Lisa50 · July 2012

We did not have either. You can definitely go without them. I have been to 25+ weddings; I have seen a flower girl only one time and have never seen a ring bearer.

calliopeia2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_no-flower-girl-or-ring-bearer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3506d78e-f885-4fed-a1bf-7f1b66166ec7Post:b599c863-8262-4f0b-b796-0ecebbe9b0b4">Re: No Flower Girl or Ring Bearer?</a>:
[QUOTE]We did not have either. You can definitely go without them. I have been to 25+ weddings; I have seen a flower girl only one time and have never seen a ring bearer.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my numbers aren't quite this extreme, but I've only seen FG/RBs at maybe one in every four weddings I've been to. And we're not having them.

acaponi87 · July 2012

We didn't have either and it was awesome. So much less drama and people you have to coordinate. Best man held on to the rings.

abbiecorwin · July 2012

We are having a flower girl, because my cousin's daughter is the prettiest and best behaved little girl I have ever met. We not having a ring bearer, because my other cousin's son is whiny demon. I have been to several weddings where the children attendants have cried/thrown fits/been the center of attention in a negative way. The comments at those weddings have focused much to much on their bad behavior. I have also been to several weddings without child attendants, and never heard mention of it. So basically, you do what you want, whatever makes you happy.

naomikb · July 2012

Definitely don't need them.

kateguess22 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_no-flower-girl-or-ring-bearer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:3506d78e-f885-4fed-a1bf-7f1b66166ec7Post:9d8942c5-d4b4-4024-9940-f55921ae3075">No Flower Girl or Ring Bearer?</a>:
[QUOTE]Any thoughts on not having a flower girl or ring bearer? Thinking about going without...
Posted by knover06[/QUOTE]

Also thinking about going without. Definitely not a must.

jesslynn1012 · July 2012

I am definitely having a few kids in my wedding because I love kids, and my cousins' kids are the cutest:) (I considered having an entire wedding party of kids because I love the kids in my family so much, lol).
One reason to not have kids though is the extra "stuff" they come with (needing snacks, not listening, being unpredictable, etc). I don't mind it, but my cousin's nephew was the ring bearer in her wedding and he peed his pants on accident right before we started taking pictures. He stood in wet pants in a few pics because we had driven to a new place to take pics and didn't have a change of clothes.

Weddings with kids is definitely interesting but I don't think anything like that would bother me on my wedding day

*edit* I'm having kids in my wedding because they want special "jobs" and want to walk down the aisle and read and pass out bubbles, etc... NOT to have "props" for pictures.

ElisabethJoanne · July 2012

In some states, you need 2 witnesses. In California, a witness can be of any age as long as the witness is old enough to sign the license and understand that a wedding has taken place.

I'm not having a flower girl or ring bearer despite having relatives that are the right ages. We just want things simple.

DramaGeek · July 2012

In every wedding I've been to/in that had child attendants, the children caused some sort of disturbance during the ceremony. Sure, it was cute, but it was still a disturbance. Because of their position, they aren't easily removed like the child of a guest would be.

After watching a friend's flower girl roll around on the altar during their entire ceremony, I knew there was no way we'd be having children in our wedding. It was a candlelight ceremony, I didn't figure 80+ candles and kids was a good combination.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

The FG in our wedding (3 yo at the time), spent the ceremony sitting/occasionally sleeping off the side at the bottom of the altar steps by her mom, a BM. She caused no disturbance and was well-behaved the whole time. I think you just need to know the kids/parents who you're thinking of asking. Not every child will be a terror. I do agree it's a chance you take with having a child in the wedding, but if they're important to you, I might take that chance. The BM/her mom was right there and already said if she started getting fussy, she'd take her out the side door right away (her dad was a GM. If he had been in the congregation, he would have).

I think having a child yelling and screaming in the congregation can be just as much of a disruption, especially if the parents aren't willing to remove them when necessary. I would hate to not ask a child you wanted for fear they might act up (unless you think the parents wouldn't know to take them outside). They shouldn't be punished for some rowdy kids.

kgrawedding · July 2012

We aren't having any. I thought about having my goddaughter be the ring bearer and her sisters be flower girls, but we decided we wanted an adult only reception so I didn't think it would be proper to invite the girls to the ceremony and then tell their parents that the girls aren't invited to dinner.

Tami87 · July 2012

You absolutely don't need a flower girl or ring bearer if you don't want them. Like previous posters mentioned I have also seen kids throw big fits, usually when they are younger (2 or 3) and don't want to be separated from their parents. Our priest was actually a little apprehensive when we told him we were having a flower girl because he has had some bad experiences too.

However, that being said we did have my five year old cousin be our flower girl (no ring bearer) and she did awesome and was thrilled to be in the wedding. I agree with PPs that kids shouldn't be used as cute props, but should understand what they are being asked to do and want to be in the wedding. If my cousin hadn't wanted to be a flower girl, no big deal we would have just skipped it.

But to AW for a moment, I was so proud of her. She waited quietly in the back of the church with my bridesmaids and I until it was time for her to walk. Listened when people gave her instructions. Walked down the long aisle by herself and even remembered to bow before she got into the 2nd pew with her parents. I was so impressed. So I think it really does depend on the kid, and that is something only you and the parents can decide.

kaceymarie · July 2012

we are having no wedding party at all.

boomboom1243 · July 2012

not having one as I do not want kids at my wedding. They are cute but they never do it right

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