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advice about fiancee not asking for my hand

clzdiazclzdiaz member
First Comment
in Latino Weddings
Hi chicas,
I'm engaged to a lovely, funny, affectionate hard working Latino that proposed over a year ago. He proposed the same week we decided to move in together. The problem is that my parents are very traditional, and living with my then-boyfriend was not ok. They respected my decision and asked to speak to me alone. Since then, he claims that he "tried" to talk to them, but that they didn't want to. I've asked him to talk to them (not asking for permission, just having "the talk") and explained how important it is to me. I'm very close to my parents and it's important for him to show me that he respect them (and me!)
It's been over a year and I don't know what to do- do I drop it?
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Re: advice about fiancee not asking for my hand

  • fam6fam6
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, you drop it and grow up.  You are an adult.  You live on your own, in fact with your fiance for over a year, and yet you want him to talk to Daddy before.....before what?  Before he asks you to marry him....Missed that.  Before you move in together....Missed that.  Before what exactly.....Any moment has passed and if a fake moment happened now it would just be because you forced it.  MOVE ON!
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  • clzdiazclzdiaz member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A little harsh, but thank you for the candid feedback :)
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  • fam6fam6
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, I really didn't mean to be a meanie...but I was a little baffled by your post and responded without filtering my thoughts.  Thanks for taking it as candid and not bitchy!
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  • MsSunshineMsSunshine
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Have your FI ask your father for your hand in marriage. Be honest with your parents by letting them know you are living together and that the decision was yours to make and not theres. You are an adult and if they don't like it then they will have to learn how to deal with it since you'll be getting married. Don't be afraid to talk to them. Better to get this out in the open than hiding it. Good luck!
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  • hisdodihisdodi
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Completely agree with fam6. 

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  • Nati05Nati05 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    Mmm I'm a little confused. What do you want your FI to talk to your parents about? You're already engaged and living together right? What's "the talk" about if it's not about living together or getting engaged?

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  • mizzicantwaitmizzicantwait member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know that being traditional always looks better and feels right. I don't think he has to ask your parents for anything really since at the end of the day it is your decision whether to marry him or not. If you 2 are already engaged there is no point of asking now since it just looks bad and can make the situation very uncomfortable.

    My suggestion would be before you get wrapped up in wedding planning have him sit down with your parents and ask for their blessing in the wedding process. I think that is better.

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  • sweetlullaby31sweetlullaby31
    First Comment
    I had a similar problem with my fiancee, my fiancee and my parents don't get along. we are planning on living together by the end of the year and my parents are not happy about it but i told them my reasons, i also told them i prefer to live with him and fight about things now than after we are married (they seem to think we don't get along and we won't be able to live together under the same roof) now they are resigned about it.
    My Fiancee didn't exactly ask for my hand, he did a... heads up? Laughing, no matter if my parents approved or not we were going to get married either way
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