Dad or Uncle

Mcaddell · June 2012

I'm having a bit of dilemma on who to give me away on my wedding day. My dad was rarely in my life growing up. It almost seems like when "he doesn't get his way" I don't see him for a months. It always been that way. My uncle (mom's brother) been there and though we have differences, aside from my mom, he's been that father figure. Now my dad sort of been in my life (I'm 23 now) but now since I am getting married he's been pretty harsh to my fiance and starting the whole "won't see him for months" thing again. I been meaning to ask my Uncle to be the one to give me away instead but there's still that little girl inside me saying what if he gets hurt by my decision. I have no idea what to do.

Who to choose? Dad or Uncle

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Your dad is going to be hurt, but by your description of him will most likely not attend the wedding anyway.
Not siding with your dad and how he treats you at all, but he most likely would feel very embarrassed sitting there watching someone else escort you down the aisle. And for that, I can't imagine he would attend.

kikirst33 · June 2012

Could you do a half and half to appease them both? Have Dad walk you down half way and Uncle the rest (or visa versa)? I've seen this done at a few weddings with dad / step-dad.

Not sure if that would appease your dad but it is an option.

siestadreams · June 2012

I've seen weddings where the bride has two people walking her down the aisle, one on each arm. Maybe thats something you could consider.

achiduck · June 2012

Don't pick your dad just because he'll throw a tempertantrum if he doesn't get his way.

allychase · June 2012

I have a similar problem, but mine is whether or not I'm even INVITING my biological father. I have 2 stepdads also, my second one more involved than the first, but I am having my grandfather walk me down the aisle just because he's the only one who's been involved my entire life and if I choose one dad, I don't hurt the other's feelings. But mainly because I want my grandpop to walk me down, if anyone else has a problem with it too bad. It's your day, go with what your gut tells you. You could always have your uncle walk you down the aisle, then do a father/daughter dance with your dad if you wanted.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I have a similar issue with my father. While my father knows I love him and I'm always going to be that "little daddys girl" he knows I'm asking my brother. My brother was the one who opted to kick the asses of those who broke my heart, it was he who gave me harsh advice when I needed it and my brother never walked out on me, even when he heard me say things he didn't like.

Go with your gut hun, which from how you're talking seems to be telling you to ask your uncle. Be prepared for your fathers harsh words, as I heard from my Dad. But perhaps, like my father, he will come to understand your decision with your explanation and with a bit of time. I think any father would be willing to take the embarassment of not walking his daughter down the asile to SEE her walk down the aisle. If he cares, he'll be there. (imho, lol)

Mcaddell · July 2012

Thank you everyone for your quick response. After a huge embarrassment with my dad last weekend I realized I knew the answer all along, I was just afraid to say it. I chose my Uncle to give me away instead and if possible allow my dad with me at the father-daughter dance. If he doesn't show up, well, I know I have my Uncle by my side.

Dad or Uncle

Re: Dad or Uncle

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