Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long)

mollymcshea · September 2011

So...FI got a call from a groomsman (the one groomsman i do NOT like, but it is a childhood friend of FIs) today saying he got a DWI last night and that he may be in jail for our wedding (next saturday..so 6 days from now). Apparently he was just about to get in his car and cop saw him stumbling. In MN that is considered physical control of the vehicle I guess. My FI is a police officer and knows laws, obviously, but he isn't exactly sure how courts/sentencing work.

This GM has 1 prior DWI (obviously has a problem) and this is his second. His court date is Wednesday and he said he will have to serve some time in jail. Here is my question and I am hoping someone can answer this:

1) do you have to go to court immediately after your court date or do they schedule it?

2) i know sometimes you can reschedule your court date...we are wondering if for something like this if he could reschedule it for the following week...

I am ok with being one short on FIs side...one BM will have to walk down the aisle by herself, but i just want to be able to know how to prepare for this. I am pissed off -- driving after drinking is NOT ok, and I am disappointed that he may not be there....

HELP!

mekiakoo · September 2011

I am so sorry this happened. I have no idea how these things work but I had a friend who had a DWI and his court date was about a month after he was arrested. It was his first offense though.

About rescheduling, I am not too sure if it's possible but the groomsman will need to take care of this. He'd probably need to call the court and speak to somebody about this.

Another idea instead of having one of your BMs walk alone- one BM can walk with 2 GMs.

aabrahams7 · September 2011

He may be able to call the courthouse and ask for a continuance, but it is not always granted and the fact that he needs to attend (be part of) a wedding isn't something the court is going to care about.

mollymcshea · September 2011

yeah he is going to call tuesday and see if he can get the court date changed. i guess it is supposed to be wednesday and I just do not know if they can reschedule something like that. i know being in a wedding isn't something the courts would care about...good idea about the 2 BM walking with 1 GM mekiakoo!...haddn't even crossed my mind for some reason haha.

FI said well I can find a replacement and I had to explain to him that no, we don't just replace him hahaha...oh good lord. I am annoyed but can't dwell on it..there isn't anything I can do if he can't be there.

Hopefully someone will know if something like this can be rescheduled or if he would have to report to jail right away...apparently it was a weird situation that he got arrested in anyways, so it could get dropped, but he could be making it up too...we will have to see...

Steph0871 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_dumb-groomsmanneed-legal-advise-please-kind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:e9f8966b-66a4-40b0-b65e-9bc062cd350cPost:a714d7f6-8328-471f-afce-26e3381fd6dc">Re: Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long)</a>:
[QUOTE]He may be able to call the courthouse and ask for a continuance, but it is not always granted and the fact that he needs to attend (be part of) <strong>a wedding isn't something the court is going to care about.</strong>
Posted by aabrahams7[/QUOTE]

<div>Especially since this isn't his first offense. </div><div>
</div><div>OP- I'd just plan on him not being there. If he can make it, great. (But you should probably have a sober cab lined up for him.) If not, one of your BMs can walk alone- or two of them can walk together with 1 GM. It'll work out somehow. </div>

mollymcshea · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_dumb-groomsmanneed-legal-advise-please-kind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:e9f8966b-66a4-40b0-b65e-9bc062cd350cPost:4be27c53-7fa5-4ce8-bfce-dae9a31c5d4f">Re: Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long) : Especially since this isn't his first offense. OP- I'd just plan on him not being there. If he can make it, great. <strong>(But you should probably have a sober cab lined up for him.)</strong> If not, one of your BMs can walk alone- or two of them can walk together with 1 GM. It'll work out somehow.
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Thank goodness we have a shuttle lined up from the reception to the hotel and then a coach bus for the wedding party.</div><div>
</div><div>I was just thinking about this and we spent a lot of money on the grooms gifts...like over $100...but they are personalized...IF he can't be there, do we give it to him? If he couldn't be there because of an emergency/death/whatever I would totally understand but this was his mistake and I don't feel like he would deserve it if he can't be there....thoughts? Is that b*tchy?</div>

plum10 · September 2011

DId this happen in the Twin Cities? I find it odd that he got a court date so soon since noramlly it takes a month to get into court so is he telling you the truth? Secondly, As far as when they go to jail, I think it depends on how crowded the jail is, but I'm no expert, haha.

aligross · September 2011

From what I understand it is really all going to depend on how he's fighting this or if he's fighting it at all. If he was arrested on Friday, he has to wait until Tuesday to post bail because the courts weren't open over the weekend and not on Monday and then if he was arrested on Saturday it would be Wednesday before he could post bail. During his court appearance on Wednesday the judge will ask him how he pleads (guilty/not guilty) IF he pleads guilty, typically depending on how much space is in the jail at the time they will either have him return to jail immediately or he will have a report date along with the loss of license, fines etc. If he pleads not guilty with an attorney present, he will have time to build his case at that point -

I agree with Steph in that I would plan for him not to be there, but if he is yay?!

As far as his "gift" if he is there, yes give it to him... if he's not able to make it because he's stuck in jail, then I guess that's to the discretion of your FI.

Good luck with all of this... but just remember, it's not your problem so don't let it become your problem especially this week!

nordke · September 2011

We unfortunately had a similar situation at our wedding a few months ago...one of our GM was in a small accident and then arrested because he blew a .09. He was released later that night (1st offense though) and has not yet gone to court. Before we knew if he was going to be there or not, I also just planned to have one GM escort two BM. I was pissed off, but felt more sad/upset for my H because I knew he wanted him there. And our wedding was so close to being drama free!! I know it's easy to say, but don't stress over it. It's your GM issue to deal with, not yours. Hope it all works out like you're hoping.

flower_lover · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_dumb-groomsmanneed-legal-advise-please-kind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:e9f8966b-66a4-40b0-b65e-9bc062cd350cPost:4be27c53-7fa5-4ce8-bfce-dae9a31c5d4f">Re: Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long) : Especially since this isn't his first offense. OP- I'd just plan on him not being there. If he can make it, great. (But you should probably have a sober cab lined up for him.) If not, one of your BMs can walk alone- or two of them can walk together with 1 GM. It'll work out somehow.
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

Completely agree with this. My DH worked for several months as an attorney in the Minneapolis City Attorney's office, primarily representing the City on DWI cases, and you should move on and plan on this guy not being in your wedding. Unless this guy has a spectacular attorney representing him and a way to prove he was not drunk, do not plan on his case being postponed. They hear DWI cases right away (on purpose). This guy is in serious trouble as a repeat offender, and don't count on anybody having sympathy for him in the Courts. They will tell him he should have thought about your wedding and any other plans BEFORE he drank and drove.

SarahMarie85 · September 2011

Unfortunately I know of a few people in my life who have done this idiotic thing. Oddly, they all had to wait MONTHS to serve their time. So I don't know if this is good news or bad news in your situation. Hope it all works itself out!

Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long)

Re: Dumb a$$ groomsman...need legal advise please! (kind of long)

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