Wedding Etiquette Forum

Sending invites without a confirmed venue?

Our wedding is January 26, so I need to get my invites out, like, yesterday. I'm printing them at home, and had anticipated doing them tomorrow.

Our ceremony is being held at a church. Until 20 minutes ago, FI and I had planned on having the reception at our home. However, FI just mentioned that he thinks everyone would be more comfortable if we had the reception at the church as well. I'm neutral on the issue, as long as we make a decision ASAP and stick with it. I'll be calling the church tomorrow to inquire.

Our house is less than 5 minutes from the church and both are rural, so all of our guests will have vehicles on site. All of our guests are family and know where our house is, so no need to give them the address or directions. I was thinking about sending our invites tomorrow anyway, listing the traditional ceremony info then saying "reception to follow" but not specifying where the reception is. I figure I see these people constantly and will have time to spread that info word of mouth before the wedding, or worst case scenario someone finds out they have to drive 10 extra minutes at the wedding. Or should I wait?

Re: Sending invites without a confirmed venue?

  • UH... I would not go to a wedding if I only knew where half of it was... And I don't think word of mouth is really good idea, some people don't spread things around, or they just forget. Figure it out tonight, print your invites and send them tomorrow. 
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2012
    As long as the ceremony venue is set, I think you are okay. If the reception ends up being at your house, then you can just put a note in your programs like "Please join us at 123 Main Street immediately following the ceremony." If you use the church hall, you can say "refreshments will be served in the church hall immediately following the ceremony." Sometimes people choose to attend only the reception, or find themselves running late to the ceremony and go straight to the reception site...so if they don't know the reception site ahead of time it can get weird for them.....otherwise I think you'll be fine. If anyone wants to know the reception location, they will ask you. Edited for iPad autocorrect failure....
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  • Avion covered all the bases on this.  Just make sure your guests know BEFORE the wedding where the reception will be in case someone can't make the ceremony.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sending-invites-without-a-confirmed-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d3fd3a-ad29-47e9-85a5-3af7b19a6aa6Post:6163c95c-05b6-4a5a-913e-77cb05f93de2">Re: Sending invites without a confirmed venue?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I actually know one bride who refused to give out directions/location to reception, and said it would be available at the ceremony.  She said she was tired of people not coming to ceremony, and wasnt going to let it happen to her.
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    <div>While it's rude to not come to both, that is so rude I would have skipped the wedding. OP, please DO NOT do this. </div><div>
    </div><div>I think you're find as long as it's posted in several locations (maybe with cards people can take with directions) at the ceremony site, you'll be fine. </div>

  • CA.GiraffeCA.Giraffe Whine Country member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    The scenario NYU describes seems immature. I'm more than happy to have our guests for as long as they'd like to celebrate with us, be it the ceremony, reception, or both. Would it be a good compromise to call guests as I receive their RSVPs? I don't think my crowd would access a website. Of our 50 guests, I see 90 percent on at least a weekly basis.
  • I like the idea of putting a wedding website URL on an insert with the invitation and updating your website with reception info as soon as you possibly can.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sending-invites-without-a-confirmed-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d3fd3a-ad29-47e9-85a5-3af7b19a6aa6Post:d0bf5484-dca4-4089-9666-96ada4cac701">Re:Sending invites without a confirmed venue?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The scenario NYU describes seems immature. I'm more than happy to have our guests for as long as they'd like to celebrate with us, be it the ceremony, reception, or both. Would it be a good compromise to call guests as I receive their RSVPs? I don't think my crowd would access a website. Of our 50 guests, I see 90 percent on at least a weekly basis.
    Posted by CA.Giraffe[/QUOTE]

    <div>If you're only inviting 50, and you see most of them regularly, I think letting them know by phone or in person where the reception will be held once you've received their RSVP is a great idea, but I'd probably also include the reception location in the ceremony programs (or if you're not doing programs, on a one-page flyer handed out at the ceremony) just in case people either don't get the message for some reason or don't remember.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sending-invites-without-a-confirmed-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d3fd3a-ad29-47e9-85a5-3af7b19a6aa6Post:4094e05b-6553-452d-8044-fdfbc0a738fc">Re: Sending invites without a confirmed venue?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:11.818181991577148px;background-color:#ffffff;">I actually know one bride who refused to give out directions/location to reception, and said it would be available at the ceremony.  She said she was tired of people not coming to ceremony, and wasnt going to let it happen to her.[/QUOTE]</span><div><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:11.818181991577148px;">
    </span></font><div>[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sending invites without a confirmed venue? : While it's rude to not come to both, that is so rude I would have skipped the wedding. <strong>OP, please DO NOT do this.</strong>  I think you're find as long as it's posted in several locations (maybe with cards people can take with directions) at the ceremony site, you'll be fine. 
    Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Pretty sure NYU was just offering a story of something that happened, not suggesting that OP actually do this. 

    </div></div>
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  • NYU- it's not the same because if people asked, I'm sure OP would tell them prior to the ceremony if it came up or they asked, not say, "you'll find out when you get there because I'm a brat who doesn't want people to skip the ceremony." Cards at the ceremony would be in addition to spread the word before the date. 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sending-invites-without-a-confirmed-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d3fd3a-ad29-47e9-85a5-3af7b19a6aa6Post:c0d38206-22f2-414b-85d3-6a903cb7c107">Re: Sending invites without a confirmed venue?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, it was something that actually happened.  If the reception is supposed to be a thank you for people coming to wedding, I do not see it as "bratty" to just tell people on invite "Reception to follow" and pass out directions/instructions at church.
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    <div>It is if you intentionally keep it a secret. </div>

  • I do think it's best to inform guests way ahead of time about where reception is. Like others said, if they somehow are running late and only come to the reception, they might be confused as to where everyone is.

    also, "reception to follow" basically gives off the message that the reception is AT the same place as the ceremony, IMO
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sending-invites-without-a-confirmed-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f6d3fd3a-ad29-47e9-85a5-3af7b19a6aa6Post:20610eec-3fce-4c8f-bb63-802671992b23">Re: Sending invites without a confirmed venue?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do think it's best to inform guests way ahead of time about where reception is. Like others said, if they somehow are running late and only come to the reception, they might be confused as to where everyone is. also, <strong>"reception to follow" basically gives off the message that the reception is AT the same place as the ceremony, IMO</strong>
    Posted by loca4pook[/QUOTE]

    Now that you mention this, I would probably think the same.  If you can just wait until tomorrow to print your invitations with a specific reception location, I would do it.  You can't mail them out until Wednesday anyway since there is no mail service tomorrow.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Honestly, I think it's a recipe for disaster to not have a confirmed venue when sending invitations because you might end up with too many people and no venue at all, or more than can fit in the available accommodations.  Always get confirmation that a venue is in question and never invite more than it can hold.
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