RANT Bachelor party (I know, why am I even involved?)

Re: RANT Bachelor party (I know, why am I even involved?)

• jenniferandstephen

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Hey LadyBug, sorry you're having to deal with this. It probably depends on your FI's friends, but I know my FI has a lot of guys participating in the bachelor party debauchery that are not invited to-nor have any interest in-the actual wedding. They just wanted a chance to hang out drink beer and heaven knows what else.
  
  As long as they don't just magically show up at your wedding assuming a night of drinking equals an invite, you'll be fine. Maybe you can ask your FI to have the talk with them so you won't have to? Would that be a kind of compromise?
  
  Good luck with whatever you decide! Silly boys...
  

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• Sparkette19 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  You know what, I just realized that my FI was invited to a bachelor party last year and was not invited to the wedding. I didn't think anything of it at the time b/c I didn't know of all this wedding etiquette stuff at the time since we weren't engaged.
  
  I think guys and girls are different when it comes to the bachelor/bachelorette parties. I think girls take it way too far, especially with the gifts at the party. I think it's unnecessary. Guys don't do it! They just buy the groom some drinks or whatever and that's it. Girls on the other hand have to buy gag gifts, pay for the brides drinks, etc. etc.
  
  I totally see your point though. I would have an issue with that.

  When you're born in Chicago you're blessed and you're healed the first time you walk into Wrigley Field. My Bio

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• Annie_Warbucks member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I mean obviously etiquette wise, you should never invite someone to a wedding related party that is not invited to the wedding. Guys probably don't have as much of a problem with it as girls do, but it still rubs me the wrong way. If it was my FI, I would feel like he was taking advantage of their friendship, in that they are good enough friends to buy him drinks, but not good enough friends to want them at the wedding, but FI would probably not feel that way. 

  
  

  I would also worry about the extra guests being confused as to whether they were invited to the wedding, especially since the planning for the bachelor party is happening so early and invites are not out yet. FI would have to let them know they are not actually invited to the wedding. 

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• mandybear7

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Frankly, the bachelor party is over 6 months away. I don't think a guy is going to remember or be upset that he was not invited to a bachelor party that was mentioned at a bar a year prior. Don't stress about it and when the times come, guys can be invited then.

  7/10/10 Dandy

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• ladybug7485 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Mandybear-totally agree that guys won't remember but unfortunatly FI is sending the invites out this week (and most of the convos where he inviting guys verbally happened over Christmas). I agree that it's super early to invite for bachelor party but that's what the best man wants to do.
  One good thing that my sister just told me is that since the hotel is being researved under my brother in law's name (because he is a manager there and can get a discounted rate) they can only get 4 rooms so it's a max of 16 at that hotel so that already cuts down on his guest list.

  Planning Bio-Updated 4/8/10 with STD Video and DIY Married Bio 10/1/10

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• jessNlane52804

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Guys send out formal invites for bachelor parties? I agree with pp that in guy world almost no one cares whether they were invited to the wedding. I think most of FI's friends are coming to our wedding mainly for the open bar. Ditto to mandybear- I doubt they'll remember 6 months from now that theywere unofficially invited to this party, especially if they don't see each other often.

  Married on 8/7/10 My Bio
  
  

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• Noron member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  This is most definitely the norm in my H's circle.  To be frank, most guys don't give a crap about weddings - they like beer and boobs, both things typically associated with (or at least talked about at) a bachelor party.  If your FI is frequently invited to bachelor parties without being invited to the wedding, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.  As Sparkette said, guys and girls are totally different when it comes to this stuff.
  Just my two cents.
  

  
  January 2, 2010
  
  EDD October 10, 2013

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• duckie1905 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Sometimes, even with its a bachelor party, a party is just a party.  While I agree all these people should be invited to the wedding, I find it hard to believe that most of them will even remember or care by the time October comes around.
  
  You guys will be in some hot water, though, if they adhere to the traditional rules of etiquette because it will be your FI (not even the host, because your FI invited these people) that made the mistake.

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• berrytr

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Let your FI handle this one.  Don't worry about it.  He will need toexplain to these guys that they can not b invited to the wedding. 

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• mbuhpathi member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  guys will most likly forget about it if it is that far out. they also dont tend to be sticklers on etiquette as much as women do so unless they have wives that adhere to etiquette by the book, it should blow over easily.

  

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• ErinC85 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Every guy I know is going to lose that invitation by August anyways-only the people in the area who are in contact on a regular basis will likely show. And if the fraternity is anything like the ones where I went to college, its literally hundreds of guys-theres no way they all expect an invite to a formal wedding. 

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• ladybug7485 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Got it ladies
   I won't stress about it, I think I was thinking more about their girlfriends/fiances/wives judging the etiquette and thinking that their invite is in the mail but no big deal because FI is just going to trim down the guest list since they can't get as many rooms for the discounted rate as guests so he's just going to call people and tell him it's not going to be as big as they expected unless they want to stay elsewhere. Thanks for allowing the decompression

  Planning Bio-Updated 4/8/10 with STD Video and DIY Married Bio 10/1/10

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• kthame

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_rant-bachelor-party-am-even-involved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:382d609b-94db-4318-b99b-e55f3ec8d07aPost:cc0cf66d-39f2-4ae9-841a-426f14c62c0f">Re: RANT Bachelor party (I know, why am I even involved?)</a>:
  [QUOTE]This is most definitely the norm in my H's circle.  To be frank, most guys don't give a crap about weddings - <strong>they like beer and boobs, both things typically associated with (or at least talked about at) a bachelor party.</strong>  If your FI is frequently invited to bachelor parties without being invited to the wedding, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.  As Sparkette said, guys and girls are totally different when it comes to this stuff. Just my two cents.
  Posted by Noron[/QUOTE]
  Ha ha ha! Nora, this made me laugh. It's SO true...guys love bachelor parties...weddings...not so much. Don't worry Cathy...they won't care one bit, and as most other ladies said, they don't even remember. LOL. Guys are from another planet! :)

  
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