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FMIL...what do you call her?

rowenac82rowenac82 member
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in African American Weddings
With all the talk about FMILs, reminded me of when I was trying to figure out what to call my FMIL. I remember avoiding calling her anything for a while...which got awkward. Then, I noticed if she left me a message on my phone she hesitated when she said...this is...and then she would say her first name. I have decided to just call her by her first name since that's how she leaves me messages. But it's awkward for me, since we grew up not calling anyone significantly older than us by their first name, we were so quick to put an aunty or uncle in front of someone's name (caribbean culture). Interestingly enough, I asked my mom what FI should call her and she said Mrs. Blah blah blah. When I told FI, he said he's going to call her mom..LOL. I haven't heard it yet but I can't wait to see the look on her face. 

So how did you decide what to call your FMIL?
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Re: FMIL...what do you call her?

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    RealHappyGalRealHappyGal member
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    "HEY LADY"...... no name cuz she never introduced herself... dont start me up again...LOL
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    Sophia1913Sophia1913 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:83019aa5-3e38-449c-95f1-d51bc2bef9b2">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]"HEY LADY"...... no name cuz she never introduced herself... dont start me up again...LOL
    Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]


    OMG I'm gonna pass out.  This made me laugh. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

    Luckily mines made it easy and said everyone calls me Ann (which is actually her middle name) so you can too and I was relieved to have this out the way.

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    pearls687pearls687 member
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    edited May 2012

    We're on a FMIL roll today!  lol

    Now that you mention it, I haven't called mine anything.  Calling her by her first name doesn't seem respectful but I'm surely not calling her Mom or anything like that.  My mom raised me by herself and she alone deserves that title. 

    FMIL has signed cards to me with her first name, and left messages that way also. 

    FMIL's students call her "Ms. P" (her name is Paulette), so maybe I'll call her that too.  It kinda sounds like a term of endearment while still being respectful.  Hmmmm.......

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    MrsBoss2012MrsBoss2012
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    I will call her Mom. When she texts or emails me she always signs it "Mom 2." I call my own mother "mama". There will NEVER be another MAMA. So I feel ok with calling her Mom. Now FFIL on the other hand. This dude is different LOL He jokes alot so just this weekend I asked what should I call him. He says "dragon slayer." I'm not as close with him so Dad seems weird but when I call him Mr. Blah...FI and FMIL were like nahh you gotta call him something else. Our nephew calls him Pop-Pop so maybe Pops? IDK yet.

    FI calls my Mom "Mama J." My mom made that up herself LOL He swears he's gonna call my dad by his first name. YEAH RIGHT! For now he calls him Mr. Blah. He said maybe he'll call him JJ. That's his nickname. I call him Daddy and he said "HELL NAH I'm not calling him daddy! "

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    msbdumasmsbdumas member
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    When I first met FI's mom..she said Hi..I'm B mom...I said hi B's mom..lol..she said you can call me Mrs. D..so up until about 6 months ago I started calling her mom2..but I'm back and fourth when she makes me frustrated about the wedding planning its Mrs.D...lol
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    RealHappyGalRealHappyGal member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:4da880d4-c84a-46f3-bf41-517e3300e961">Re:FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I first met FI's mom..<strong>she said Hi..I'm B mom...I said hi B's mom..lol..she said you can call me Mrs. D..</strong>so up until about 6 months ago I started calling her mom2..but I'm back and fourth when she makes me frustrated about the wedding planning its Mrs.D...lol
    Posted by msbdumas[/QUOTE]


    see this..... INTRODUCTIONS..... they are important...smh
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    MisskinMisskin
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    For the longest I never addressed her by name. Once we got engaged I called her by her first name and she flipped. I refuse to call her mom, its just a personal issue with me calling someone besides by Mother, who is with the angels, Mom. Now here is where I am really lost. What should my son, who is 9 call her? He doesnt think that is his grandma, he just knows that is my FI mother. LOL
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    MrsSmith2Be02MrsSmith2Be02 member
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    I don't call my FMIL anything. I say "Hey!" and keep it like that.
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    Dannitra01Dannitra01 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Wooow. Reading some of these posts make me so thankful that I have a good FMIL. I was on the fence for a while going back and forth between Barbara (which still feels weird) and Ms. Barbara. Now I just go with the latter. Sometimes, me and her oldest daughter will playfully call her "Barb" and that works fine too.
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    20pearls1620pearls16 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:46fdbdad-f26e-4799-a0f2-ea67d65b1274">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wooow. Reading some of these posts make me so thankful that I have a good FMIL. [/QUOTE]

    This! I call my FMIL Mrs. Cherry (yes that is her first name) and my FFIL Big Phil. I think after I get married I will call them mom and dad. I told my FFIL that he would be the first man ever I would be calling Dad because my father was never in my life. I told him he had big shoes to fill. He started crying! It didn't help that all four of us were at the dinning room table taking shots. LOL  
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    CaseynMikeCaseynMike
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:83019aa5-3e38-449c-95f1-d51bc2bef9b2">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]"HEY LADY"...... no name cuz she never introduced herself... dont start me up again...LOL
    Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]

    <font color="#ff0000">buwahahahahaha you didn't quote Animaniacs little baby that wouldn't call her mom Mommy...she always said "Hey Lady, ok lady lol</font>
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    CaseynMikeCaseynMike
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:d30742fe-afeb-4883-bb9c-9d8995994ddf">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL...what do you call her? : This! I call my FMIL Mrs. Cherry (yes that is her first name) and my FFIL Big Phil. I think after I get married I will call them mom and dad. I told my FFIL that he would be the first man ever I would be calling Dad because my father was never in my life. I told him he had big shoes to fill. He started crying! It didn't help that all four of us were at the dinning room table taking shots. LOL  
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

    THIS!!

    You and your people are <strong><em><u>ALWAYS </u></em></strong>drinking!!
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    CaseynMikeCaseynMike
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2012
    I call my FMIL Maw Maw Sharon when talking to the kids in reference to her. But whenever I talk to her in general I call her Sweetie! Now my FI on the other hand calls my momma BROWN SUGA.....dead...and my dad is his Frat Brother so he calls him his line name "Rap"
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    20pearls1620pearls16 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:c1963952-6c71-4cc3-bd58-8a7d2c690ae2">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL...what do you call her? : THIS!! You and your people are ALWAYS drinking!!
    Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

    LOL it just seems that way. We really just love to hang out with each other. Mother's day we all drank water and looked at each other and laughed. lol
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    CaseynMikeCaseynMike
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:089c0242-4e5f-4623-915b-151a038166e7">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL...what do you call her? : LOL it just seems that way. We really just love to hang out with each other. Mother's day we all drank water and looked at each other and laughed. lol
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

    that is awesome!! I am sure that you all were laughing because there was no alcohol involved lol
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    20pearls1620pearls16 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:c38ffbd3-d1bc-4e1c-823f-1331556a67fa">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL...what do you call her? : that is awesome!! I am sure that you all were laughing because there was no alcohol involved lol
    Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

    Yes because we are all on the shelf from two weeks ago! It's ok we are grown we can do that. lol
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    Dannibear86Dannibear86
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:df3e1956-9f52-4db7-b952-288df76b6323">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't call my FMIL anything. I say "Hey!" and keep it like that.
    Posted by MrsSmith2Be02[/QUOTE]

    lolol I do the same thing. When we are on the phone she is like "hello" and I'm like "Hey It's Danni..." and keep on with my conversation. When I am talking to my FI I just say your mom and when I am talking to others I am like Chris' Mom lol. This one is an awkward one for me too. I'm still not sure what I am going to call her...maybe I will avoid it until we have kids and then just call her what they call her lol.
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    Elizabeth80Elizabeth80 member
    First Comment
    I called her Mrs.... but now I think its just going to be on a first name basis. She addresses her correspondence by her first name so I'm good. Though I agree Rowena that it is weird to call an older adult by their first name. We were raised similar that older women were aunts and older cousins were Cousin So and so. I just started calling a cousin who is 12 years older then me by her first name.
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    MrsJenretteMrsJenrette
    First Comment
    Unfortunately my Hubby's mother passed away years ago, and I never got the chance to meet her. His father on the other hand... I call him Papa Nate.. Behind his back!..lol. I have no idea what to call him and he's never been that warm to me. He's just started smiling when I come around, and allowing me to give him a hug.. it's weird. Other than that.. when I say something to him.. I just make sure that he knows I'm speaking to him!.. lol
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    RealHappyGalRealHappyGal member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    O ladies... I feel so good right now to know Im not the only one who doesnt know what to call "hey lady"
    @CaseynMike.... yes I did get that from animaniacs but I really didnt think anyone would get that...lol!
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    MsAmeera25MsAmeera25 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I call her Ms XYZ. I don't like calling her mom and it feels weird.

     

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    CaseynMikeCaseynMike
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:c846e2b9-0080-4b95-b9fc-178f3acfe1ca">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]O ladies... I feel so good right now to know Im not the only one who doesnt know what to call "hey lady" @CaseynMike.... yes I did get that from animaniacs but I really didnt think anyone would get that...lol!
    Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]

    I love that cartoon and I called my niece that when she was an infant because she looked just like that baby! OK LADY!!
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    keyaira04keyaira04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I call her Mrs _______________. I dont think we are at the mom level, but we might get there. 
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    Strv2perfectionStrv2perfection
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    I just call her Ms. Linda!!!
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    brandidt84brandidt84 member
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    Well I call my FMIL Ms. Linda.. I was actually thinking about calling her mom because his mom and my mom have the same name. Now on the other hand my FI calls my mom, mom because he said it doesn't sound right to call her Ms. Linda if they got the same name because it's like calling his own mom Ms.Linda... But he can continue to call my mom, mom while I call his mom Ms. Linda..
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    MissusD1116MissusD1116 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Grandma so in so..... FI was raised by his granny (his mom never was a part of his life) My daughter calls her grandma too, it's the sweetest thing! When we go over there,she makes sure my kid has whatever she needs, snacks, etc... Every time I tell her we going over there, she's like "yay!" cause she know grandma has all the good snacks and zebra cakes and fruit..all that " granny house" stuff! Lol!
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    RealHappyGalRealHappyGal member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:be0a3455-30f4-4d42-b65e-a6c9ed97358d">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Grandma so in so..... FI was raised by his granny (his mom never was a part of his life) My daughter calls her grandma too, it's the sweetest thing! When we go over there,she makes sure my kid has whatever she needs, snacks, etc... Every time I tell her we going over there, she's like "yay!" cause she know grandma has all the good snacks and <strong>zebra cakes</strong> and fruit..all that " granny house" stuff! Lol!
    Posted by MissusD1116[/QUOTE]

    Whats with the zebra cakes at grannys house?? my mom always has those things... no good for my wedding day figure ... smh
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    kaimahkaimah member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    I call her Ma....unless my mother is around. Then I call her Mrs. H. 
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    yogiebhillyogiebhill member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fmilwhat-do-you-call-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:82eba90f-a3c8-4016-bbb1-390faaff82d4Post:83019aa5-3e38-449c-95f1-d51bc2bef9b2">Re: FMIL...what do you call her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]"HEY LADY"...... no name cuz she never introduced herself... dont start me up again...LOL
    Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]

    She never Wha......???? SMH.
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    mejai1mejai1
    First Comment
    What do FI's friends call her? Maybe that's a start... like if they all called her "Mama Brown" or "JB" (lol.. that's what people call my friend's mother), you could just do that because it's like the people from your same age group that are close to FI... maybe you guys can come up with something that only you call her (I know someone that calls their MIL "Mame"). 

    I had a childhood friend, and to the day her mother died, I never really knew what to call her... funny how that happens with people that are so close to us.  Maybe "HEY LADY" really is best :) 
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