There are a few things I see over and over (and over!) on these boards as "rants" and questions and I am startled by the frequency that you see this stuff. I swear, some of it needs to be posted on a FAQs for The Knot, so maybe people will just stop it already:
1. No, you cannot "un-ask" any member of your wedding party, unless they have come after you with a weapon and legal charges are pending. If you do it, the friendship is over. If you don't care-go for it but know you are being rude and you are unlikely to get validation on The Knot.
2. No, you cannot have an "Adult" reception that includes some kids but excludes others based on arbitrary standards you have set without pissing lots of guests off. If you don't care, go ahead but please stop babbling about it on these boards.
3. No, members of your bridal party are not your bitches for a year. They do not have to "participate" in every and anything to do with your wedding. They promise themselves for your wedding day and if they give you that, be happy.
4. Can we drop the cash bar issue please? Most people on the Knot are going to say only host what you can pay for. If you are going to have a cash bar, please don't come to the Knot looking for validation for that. Weddings are expensive and this is becoming a sore point for some, but really just stop trying to argue for cash bars here.
5. There is no polite way to tell people you want cash for gifts. Stop coming here to ask if that can somehow be okay. It is not okay from any etiquette standpoint.
6. Yes, people on the various boards, not just Snarky can be very blunt. If the "culture" The Knot does not work for you, try Weddingbee, Brides.com, or even your club or local boards right here on TK. Posting about us all being big bitches and general whining about the boards will get you little more than flames in response.
7. You will not get sympathy here because your Mommy and Daddy are not shelling out "enough" money for your wedding. Go pay for it yourself and shut up.
8. No, you cannot split up couples and invite one and not the other for any reason without encountering serious - and almost always justified anger from your nearest and dearest.
9.Dollar dances, wishing wells, and honeymoon registries are unlikely to find support here. In fact, any one of these charming items will probably get you flamed here faster than having a cash bar-and that is saying something.
10. No one cares that you are "hurt" because your sister/cousin/whoever is a terrible person who set her wedding date ten weeks before yours.
I realize that there will always be new people to the boards who need to learn stuff about the Knot. I am aware that being newly engaged is a disorienting experience-great but confusing. I know that even posting all this might be called a "whine" by some people, but damn it is frustrating to see the same stuff over and over again when I can practically recite the replies before reading them.
I personally love in the words of one TK poster "puppies farting rainbows and butterflies", just please make it easier for some of us to share some of that by not getting into the above topics.