Cocktail hour before wedding?

Kindachewy · September 2012

Is there a rule the cocktail hour must be before the ceremony? The sun goes down at 6:40pm on our wedding day and we would like to have a candlelight ceremony and reception. Our venue is a boathouse with floor to celing windows and we are getting married outside by the water, but there is only one large room. Is it a bad idea to have the cocktail hour in the venue, everyone come outside for the ceremony and at that time having it transformed into the reception. We are having 75 guest and it will be a sit down dinner, but if we don't do it this way I see no way in having a cocktail hour, which I'd like to do
Maybe like this

5:00pm guest arrive/cocktail hour begins
6:30pm ceremony begins
7:10pm reception begins
7:30pm dinner served

I just would like more mingling time since a sit down dinner is hard to mingle and I am trying to make the timing work to have a sunset ceremony without asking people to arrive at 6:30pm which I think it a little late to start

JoanE2012 · September 2012

We are having a cocktail hour after the ceremony. Not sure I'd want to open the bar and have the drinks flowing before the ceremony.

loca4pook · September 2012

If you do that schedule, when will you and your wedding party take pics? You would miss a big section of your wedding including dinner....Just a thought

emilykathleen511 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d1e4081-0c3d-41e4-bea1-930dfd335e8bPost:744b7372-a38e-44cb-96d6-0ae5648548d3">Cocktail hour before wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Is there a rule the cocktail hour must be before the ceremony? The sun goes down at 6:40pm on our wedding day and we would like to have a candlelight ceremony and reception. Our venue is a boathouse with floor to celing windows and we are getting married outside by the water, but there is only one large room. Is it a bad idea to have the cocktail hour in the venue, everyone come outside for the ceremony and at that time having it transformed into the reception. We are having 75 guest and it will be a sit down dinner, but if we don't do it this way I see no way in having a cocktail hour, which I'd like to do Maybe like this 5:00pm guest arrive/cocktail hour begins 6:30pm ceremony begins 7:10pm reception begins 7:30pm dinner served I just would like more mingling time since a sit down dinner is hard to mingle and I am trying to make the timing work to have a sunset ceremony without asking people to arrive at 6:30pm which I think it a little late to start
Posted by Kindachewy[/QUOTE]

<div>Are you taking all of your pictures before the ceremony? If so, then I would just skip the cocktail hour honestly. I don't believe it would go against etiquette to do one beforehand, necessarily, but it would be weird for people I think. They normally would congratulate you and whatnot. If you haven't been married yet, it might make it a little more awkward. Also, everyone would see you before the ceremony. It would make the whole processional a little less impressive, kwim? But that being said, I don't /think/ you would be going against etiquette to do what you're thinking.</div><div>
</div><div>On the other hand, if you will need to take pictures after the ceremony, then you NEED to have the cocktail hour after the ceremony, since that is the entertainment for the guests while you get pictures taken.</div>

lyndausvi · September 2012

I've attended a few before ceremony cocktail hours before.

2 of them were Jewish weddings. They couldn't get married until sundown. The sun didn't set until 7:30. They decided to do the cocktail hour first in order to start the evening earlier. After the ceremony there was another 30 minute cocktail time, then dinner/reception.

Another one I went to was on a beach. They had a coctail hour (really about 30 mins) at the venue, then we all walked down to the beach, they got married and then we returned to the venue. There was a 20-30 min limit on the beach, so they used the cocktail "hour" and a way to gather everyone first.

DramaGeek · September 2012

If I knew your ceremony was at 6:30 and there was a cocktail time beforehand, I would still get there at 6, just like I would if the ceremony were at 6:30 with no cocktail time beforehand. If I believed the ceremony to start at 5, I'd get there at 4:30 and then be irritated when I realized it's actually the cocktail hour that starts at 5 and the ceremony isn't until 6:30.

The whole point of a cocktail hour is to delay dinner so the bride and groom can do photos between the ceremony and the meal. So if you skip that, no one will care, it just means that you need to not do photos after the ceremony and go straight to the reception. If you are going to do photos, then you need to provide something for your guests - beverages and some light food - to occupy them before dinner.

ceceibson · September 2012

We did exactly this.

12:00 arrive at venue and get everyone ready

1:00 formal pictures

2:15 Bride changed out of gown and into party dress

2:30 Preception at ceremony venue [big outdoor garden]

Sangria, Champagne, iced tea, lemonade, water, marianated skewers and 3 other chilled appetizers and handmade truffles.

3:30 ceremony

4:00 cocktail hour up and ready to go at reception venue (a 5 - 10 minute drive from the first)

5:30 dinner buffet ready to go.

Our band played during the preception at venue 1, then headed down to venue 2 and got set up while the ceremony was going on at venue 1.

It was wonderful! The preception gave us an opportunity to mingle with our guests and see a good number of them one-on-one. Also, our guests of course enjoyed the party and the beautiful setting, visiting with each other, etc.

I guess we had 2 cocktail hours, didn't we?

jessicabessica · September 2012

I think that's fine. I have been to weddings with cocktail hour before the ceremony. I would make it clear on your invitations that it will be cocktails at 5, ceremony at 6:30. If it just says 5 pm, then people will think your ceremony starts at 5 and will get there before 5 to be on time for the ceremony.

When are you planning to do pictures?

TaraKeeley · September 2012

We are doing a cocktail hour at the hotel before our wedding. The ceremony and reception are on a sailboat, so the cocktail hour really serves for people to mingle and get there so they boat doesn't leave without them.

StephJean83 · September 2012

My FH and I talked about doing a preceremony cocktail hour with lite snacks(fruits/veggies, cheese and crackers) and juices and wines or wine mixers. The venue we are looking at would be an all in one place with the first floor a lounge area and upstairs is where the ceremony and reception will be. We thought of doing the preceremony cocktail hour to allow guests a chance to get to the venue and something to do while we do some pictures(I refuse to be seen by my FH prior to my big entrance---family superstition that if he does we will end up divorce) and for them to mingle(lots of friends and family who don't get to see each other often because of distance and schedules). We would do the ceremony and after have another cocktail hour with more drinks(this time hard liquors/beers) and heavier apps. The ceremony room will be transformed into the reception and we will take more pictures(off location so we can have "send off") and then the reception.

Our timeline at the venue would be:
Preceremony Cocktail Hour
Ceremony
Cocktail Hour
Reception

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cocktail-hour-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d1e4081-0c3d-41e4-bea1-930dfd335e8bPost:beb8ff69-c16f-4eed-8f98-34c8943ece39">Re: Cocktail hour before wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>If I knew your ceremony was at 6:30 and there was a cocktail time beforehand, I would still get there at 6, just like I would if the ceremony were at 6:30 with no cocktail time beforehand. If I believed the ceremony to start at 5, I'd get there at 4:30 and then be irritated when I realized it's actually the cocktail hour that starts at 5 and the ceremony isn't until 6:30. </strong>The whole point of a cocktail hour is to delay dinner so the bride and groom can do photos between the ceremony and the meal. So if you skip that, no one will care, it just means that you need to not do photos after the ceremony and go straight to the reception. If you are going to do photos, then you need to provide something for your guests - beverages and some light food - to occupy them before dinner.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

I actually wouldn't mind having a cocktail hour first, but I might not attend the whole thing. Also, if I showed up and didn't expect a cocktail hour, but expected the ceremony, I would be irritated if the ceremony didn't start for an additional 90 minutes!

I would find a way to convey on your invitations that you're serving cocktails and hors d'oeuvres before the ceremony, and what time the ceremony is.

lennonkdc · September 2012

FWIW, We had friends that did this at their wedding last year and I liked it. The wedding was at the brides mothers house, think big fancy Father of the Bride backyard wedding, in a fancy house right on Lake Erie. The B&G did pics before hand, and were greeting people at the door as they arrived, then we all had drinks and snacks and mingled for a bit. When it was time for the ceremony we all walked out, saw what we came to see, and went back to the tented reception area for dinner & dancing.

It was much more laid back, but very nice. I say if you're ok being nontraditional then go for it!

PrimRoseMama · October 2012

We had the guest go inside to get refreshments and start eating. We joined them later to eat, have toasts and visit.My wedding was a brunch during summer. So people were hungry and hot. I say skip the cocktail hour or have it after the ceremony while the wedding party takes pictures.

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