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To change my name or not to change...

jennloveejennlovee member
First Comment
in Chit Chat
My fiance and I were all reserved and prepared to get married in Oct 2010 and have our recpetion to follow in April 2011. We have come upon some circumstances that are forcing us to get married ASAP. We will still be following through with all our pre-planned arrangements as well.

I am uncertain if I should change my name now or wait until Oct. Its not like I don't have enough time to get my documents in order, but all my reservations are in my madien name.
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Re: To change my name or not to change...

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    spinner84spinner84
    First Comment
    You shouldn't keep it a secret that you are married - the invitations should be for a renewal of vows. I would google what dearabby has to say, to be honest! (dear abby = awesome!)

    I don't think it's an issue either way, you certainly have time to change the name on the reservations. You can also legally change your name but use your maiden name unofficially until October.
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    LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Do not lie to people.  If you choose to marry now, be forthright and tell all family and friends that your subsequent ceremony will be a vow renewal.  A second ceremony and/or reception is fine, as long as you are not deceptive.  Good luck.  As for your original question, I would probably go ahead and change my name after the wedding.  You can keep the reservations in your maiden name - no problem with the vendors.
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    whitneykaye87whitneykaye87
    First Comment
    edited April 2010
    Ditto PP.  As a guest, I wouldn't be offended knowing something happened to make you guys get married sooner and that I would be attending a renewal of vows.  However, I would be pretty miffed if I thought I was witnessing a wedding and found out later that you'd been married for months before.

    Name change is totally your call.  You have plenty of time between now and October if you want, but it's not necessary that you do it right away.
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    bfroeschbfroesch member
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    Don't hide the fact that you're married.... that just seems weird
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    psichickpsichick
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    don't hide the fact that you are married, and don't call it a wedding in april.

    and pretty much unless one of you is getting deployed, i have yet to hear a good reason to get married early and have the party later.
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    jesi_nicklesjesi_nickles
    First Comment
    edited April 2010
    Dont pretend you aren't married. There is a whole post of what people think, I believe its in the snarky brides board, labelled "getting married in secret for pratical reasons".

    As for the name change, it might be different for you, but I was looking it up for myself, and found out that I have a 90 days grace period where I can change all my documents without having to pay, as long as I had my marriage lisence. It might be different for you, so I would look it up on your government website.

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    jennloveejennlovee member
    First Comment
    Ok, so everyone is taking my question the wrong way. Maybe I didnt explain it right

    Every knows we will be already married when we have the reception next year. They know it is a vow renewal. We were orginially supposed to get married in Mexico this October, but we have to get married earlier. My statement about confusing people has to do with us getting married now and still going to Mexico and continuing with our pre arranged plans as far as a wedding there goes. All in all we will be having 3 different 'weddings'. Its a lot to explain to people....
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you are getting married now, what are you going to do in Mexico?  Have a 1st vow renewal?  Followed by a second vow renewal at home?

    If you are getting married now, skip the ceremony in Mexico.  That would just be ridiculous.  It would be a fake destination ceremony.  Just go on vacation.  

    I will never understand why people think they are entitled to a series of weddings.  
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