Vent session anyone?

tuarceatha · June 2012

I'm so annoyed that my mother has not had my little sister try on her junior bridesmaid's dress yet. They got it in February, and were pretty sure the straps would need to be altered by a tailor. Sure that may only take 15 minutes to figure out. Another 15-20 minutes to bring it to a tailor... But they don't even know what tailor they'll bring it to (my mother makes it seem like she won't let "just anyone" alter the dress, but she doesn't have anyone specific in mind to do it either). I'm also annoyed that she has not gotten my little sister shoes to wear to the wedding yet. I swear she hasn't even looked to see what is available.

I'm also annoyed that my family and FI playfully mocked my wedding planning approach. I'd love to sit back these next 5 weeks and see what gets done if I don't make lists and mention deadlines. Hmph.

Anyone else feeling the need to be passive-aggressive like me?

msowena · June 2012

YES... yes I do feel the need! I'm on top of everything and doing everything myself and am just sick of people asking me dumb questions. They either hound me because I havn't done something yet (like pick our first dance song... which I have done TONS of research on and have a list compiled to show FI... but it doesnt need to be final until mid July so I'm currently doing things with a sooner dealine...it's called prioratizing) or because they think I did things way ahead of schedule... like that's so terrible!

Or how about my FMIL who gracefully offered to host the rehearsal dinner... but instead of having it in the private function room (which is only $50 to rent) she wants to do in the public room and just ask for the bill.... except she doesn't want to pay for anybodys alcohol. Well I don't want people to not have the choice to drink because she chose to do it this way. Or even worse- have people ordering alcohol and her getting slammed with a huge bill at the end and being mad at us about it. In the private hall she pays for a package that comes with soda, tea, coffee, lemonade, etc... and there is a bar in the room the guests can purchase alcohol at. I'm gunna offer to pay the $50 for the room rental if she doesnt come around...I already know she's gunna be annoyed by that... but I really think it's worth the $50 and would make me a lot less stressed about the whole thing. Plus I don't think the other people dining in the restraunt will appreciate people doing toasts in the middle of the room!

So much more to vent about, but this is what is most annoying right now.

Oh one more though (lol)... how about one of FI's groomsmen who still hasnt got fitted for his tux because he "doesn't have the money".. first off, it's only a $20 down payment... second off you are building a gaming computer, but spending $120 to be a groomsman is too much to ask? We have given him many outs and he isn't taking them...but yet has excuse after excuse why he hasnt got fitted yet even though we asked him to by the end of APRIL. We've decided to leave it alone and if he doesnt do it by the cut off date the tux shop requires- then we will consider him out of the bridal party and he can comes as a guest if he wants. I just don't understand why somebody would say yes in the first place if they arn't willing to prioratize renting the suit over spending $1000 on the computer he's building. FI is really hurt by this, but wont say anything to him. It just really stinks cause my bridal party is being great about everything and some of his seem to view it as a chore (we are very low maintence...we have literally only asked them to get fitted... not to help with anything at all... and even told some of the one's struggling with money, that we understand if they cant afford to come to the bachelor party). Just rent your tux and show up to rehearsal and the wedding... or even JUST the wedding... and we would be satisfied. Apparently that's too much to ask

tuarceatha · June 2012

Thank you both.

i2012do · June 2012

perfect timing for me as well.
MY DAD of all people takes the cake this weekend. We owe the last check to the reception site. I realize its a lot of money and my parents are graciously paying
but my dad keeps asking for an "invoice number" and refusing to pay it.
I ended up emailing the woman and asking her TO MAKE UP an invoice number just so my dad would issue the check for the thing- it is DUE TODAY.
and my dad kept saying "all you are doing is asking me to send a check to some woman I WANT AN INVOICE NUMBER" i didn't have a damn invoice number, all I had was a letter from the place that stated what was due- its a historic building in a small town- they dont have quickbooks or some kind of program to give you a damn invoice number.

Then I started crying about it because i felt like i put so much time and effort into planning and everyone QUESTIONS everything just liek MSowena said. They ask super dumb questions or questions i already answered
and my mom is WAY too involved in the planning

she keeps telling me songs that would be good for fiance and i to have our first dance too
we always have to keep my mom in check and when she goes over the line i have to tell her. and then she tells me something annoying- or compares my wedding to my cousins
"well at your cousins wedding she let your aunt chose the first dance song"
NO SHE DIDINT. She let her chose teh FIRST SONG played for everyone to dance to

Anyway after I was crying my dad looked at me and said i was an"emotional wreck because of this gd wedding and did i pull this sh*t at work, and cry whenever someone asked me a question" NO DAD i dont CRY at work- becuase people aren't A-holes to me like you are being and demand things that DON't EXIST

tuarceatha · June 2012

aw!

Sunshine811 · June 2012

Oh! I'l join...

Went to my mom's to go through pictures for our slideshow this weekend. I love my mom, and my parents are very busy with redoing the outside of their house and working a lot, but I really felt like crap when my mom handed me my 3 older brothers and sisters picture books that she put together for the wedding, and then I had to go through them and spent 5 hours doing so with her. She also kept talking about what she all did for my sisters wedding and how she did this and that for my cousins wedding, and all I kept thinking was and what have you done for my wedding. I know thats selfish, and I'm over it today, but it really hurt yesterday.

Then, she goes to me, oh and we still need to make srue the dresses fit the girls (my nieces). I was like WHAT?!?!??! They haven't tired them on yet. I didn't even want my neices to have matching dresses, I thought it would be fine for them to all wear their own cute dress, but my mom insisted, and she bought the dresses for my necies, which was great. Except, FI has 5 nieces that are walking down too, so I had to cooredinate and match dresses for them. I was just so irritated and got mad and then my dad yelled at me for getting mad, and two of my nieces were there and they tried them on. I was just so frustrated because I felt like if I hadnt pushed they wouldn't have gotten tried on until the week of the wedding, and you know who would have gotten the stress then ME!

Lastly, I get an email from FMIL saying that she wants to go through pictures with me after I'm on first shift, which isn't until the middle of July! I need to go trhough pictures sooner, and I"ve been telling her for a month. In the same email, she says she still hasn't found anything to wear and she is "freaking out." I helped her pick out a really cute outfit 6 MONTHS ago. I said I loved it, it was a nice blazer and black pants, she said she wanted to wear pants, I don't care what she wears and I liked it. Well, now she is all worried because FFIL is wearing a tux and she won't look good, and my mom is wearing a dress (a very casusal non MOB dress) and so I think that is what she is worred about. Ok, Fine, then find something to wear that you will be comforatable with but don't make me feel like this is MY problem, I alreay helped you.

Lastly, I had all of these people offer to help, from friends to cousins to sisters. I konw it is not their obligation, and I would never post anywhere but here, but even if I ask them, no one has time for me. My one cousin who made all 3 of my borthers and sisters slideshows can't help me, my sisters are too busy, my other 2 BM are on different shifts, and my mom is busy. I just feel totally alone in the whole process, I really thought this would be such an exciting time and its not, its jsut a lot of work a lot of headaches and a lot of BS. I can't wait until it is done.

Now that I made myself good and mad and am almost in tears I'll stop. If you made it through this whole thing, that is pretty impressive!

Binkieloo · June 2012

It's so good to know that I'm not alone in this whole thing! I was about to type "mess" and I really think parts of it are feeling like one.

We decided to email our invites for 2 reasons - it's very "us" and the mail in South Africa is shocking and would have taken about 3 weeks to reach most people, if we were lucky. Anyway so apparently a lot of the emails got blocked by spam filters - especially family members.

Now firstly I sent a message on facebook to all my family on there, saying please let me have your updated email addresses so that I can send the invites to the right ones. Only 1 uncle responds with the info that he has for most of the family. Great - load all those email addresses.

So we send out all the invites - we get 2 bouncebacks so correct those email addresses and assume that most people have received the invites. Almost a month later, I haven't heard from most of the extended family (cousins and aunts/uncles that I haven't seen in years, but parents insist on inviting), so I send a message on facebook and get my mom to email out to some of them for chasers on their RSVPs.

Then it started! One cousin is all pi$$ed off that she wasn't invited - meanwhile I have the wrong email address for her. Another one hasn't checked her spam and didn't know we were engaged. I get everything working to send the invite to her and she promptly replies NO! Another cousin who is disabled asks my Mom if she can drive her to wedding, since none of her family are going - oh and can we pay for her accommodation too!!!!!! But this same cousin has just been on vacation in another city for 3 weeks without us helping her out with that!

My colleague who's daughter is one of my flower girls, has been the worst! She is relying on me to find a lift for her and her daughter because the other colleague who was going to go in the car with her, can't go because her pregnancy is too complicated. Then when I ask her to please officially RSVP, she gets all stroppy with me!

RSVPing and guest lists and family feuding is driving me mad. OH and my Dad's family - every single RSVP from that side has either added an extra adult or extra kids to the RSVP! Some of the names, I have no idea who the person is!

One last thing! The thing that is irritating me the most about strangers and this wedding is the number of people that feel the need to tell me "Oh don't stress about your wedding, you're so organised!" I want to scream. I'm not stressing about little tiny details - I'm stressing about big stuff - like the guest list, and the fact that I don't have a dress yet, and that our budget is about 20% over the planned budget!

Ok... well... if you got this far, thanks for reading. I needed that girls! Maybe tonight I'll get some sleep!

tuarceatha · June 2012

Are we all married yet?? I'm sure ready to be.

m tulli · June 2012

Ok i'll join... not really wedding related. So we decided to pull up the flooring in the finished basement and where we had cheep peal and stick tile we are laying ceramic tile. Well FI got fed up with the project and I got tired of him whining so I decided to take over. It's been stressful because the rehearsal dinner is here and we have his parents staying here leading up to the wedding and they have never come to visit. So we are stressed trying to get house projects done.

Well that supid mud has dried out my hands to the point that skin is pealing off and I broke 2 nails

On the upside. I told FI that he now owes me a mani so looks like i'm getting that this week

saraschilling88 · June 2012

I'll join in too!!!! This is PERFECT timing!!

1) So my FSIL's and FMIL are very dramatic. FSIL's threw a HISSY fit that they weren't asked to be BMs, we let them be ushers (we have 6 ushers because of it). Ok so then they wanted to wear the EXACT dresses of BMs (down to the color) I said no, but they could get the dresses in black (BMs in red). Ok so they ordered their dresses and FMIL talked to my FFIL (they are divorced) and B*TCH*D that I am forcing the girls to wear these dresses and said "You have to pay for half of the cost since this is not their choice" (mind you one of the sisters is 20 and living alone, why do Mommy and Daddy have to pay for her dress??? She works for the friggin NATIONAL GUARD, she has MONEY)!!! The last part of this one is actually not so bad as the detail wasn't confirmed yet. I asked FSIL's if they wanted corsages pinned to their dresses or on their wrists (I"m making them so I need to know), luckily this was a fairly easy thing to decide, they want wrist corsages.

2) Our Best Man's wife (my ex BM and ex PA at this point- long story about to be told) is also causing drama!!! She was my BM originally, and backed out 2 days before we went dress shopping, she has also not attended any showers or bridal shows with me (even though she said she wanted to still be a part of everything) to be at her parents house every time something was happening. Two weeks ago we were talking and she was talking about how she's so stressed with their kid (she's a stay at home Mommy), and we talked about the wedding, and I offered her an out as personal attendant which she took immediately (she had been planning to back out I'm sure). Now for the worst part, and I honestly cried and haven't slept since Friday because of this!! Friday night (at 11PM seriously) she sends me a facebook message that basically says she, her husband (our Best Man just to reiterate how much this is frustrating), and their son will only be there for a few hours before the wedding and leave after the reception!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said it so we could "give our blocked rooms to someone else if they need them", ummm HELLO???????!!!!!!!! Blocked rooms aren't for specific people, it is a generic block (she used to work at a hotel she should know this)!!
FI and I talked about the message, and he is basically going to say, "Dude (to our Best Man), your wife and kid can be there whenever, but you need to come the day before. I'll give you a ride up there and you can stay with me so you don't have to rent a room. You need to be there to get your tux (our tux lady won't do alterations they day of the wedding, and wants guys to pick up their tuxes in person at least 24 hours prior to the wedding), and you really need to be at the rehearsal dinner the night before. You can leave the night of the reception, but we really need you the night before. Again, your wife (using that instead of a name) and kid can come up the day of, or not at all if she so chooses as they are no longer involved in the wedding".
Yeah that probably seems like a horrible thing to say, but my FI is furious with this girl, and I'm pretty furious too!!! At this point we don't even know if the friendship with her is worth salvaging, as we've been replaced by a new couple that she spends as much time as possible with!! She has a history of self sabotaging relationships because she gets bored easily and always wants a "new toy" to play with!!! I've been losing my friend for over a year and now I'm just at my wits end after that message!!!!!!!!!

lb1212 · June 2012

I'll chime in too! 1 FI I had to postpone our wedding 3 weeks before our June 3 date because the church was double booked. That really sucked, but we've made peace with it. 2 As a result, 1 BM is using the change of date as an excuse to bail. Apparently we "aren't close anymore" and we "never even talk". Oh, the best part? She emailed all of this to my mom and hasn't mentioned any of it to me!! I wouls like to add that she hasn't called me since April. When I try to call her, she'll hit the ignore button, but then immediately send me a txt asking me what I wanted. Since the end of April, I've A moved B moved my mom and C Replanned my wedding including hiring a new DJ Photographer. I know I've been busy, but my other 2 BMs completely understand don't get the least bit offended if I go a week without a phone call!

Vent session anyone?

Re: Vent session anyone?

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