The "I'm Feeling Overwhelmed" Vent

Re: The "I'm Feeling Overwhelmed" Vent

• pawdap

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I feel the same way.  Overwhelmed, everyday I've been getting bad migraines.  I usualy get them when I am stressing. Plus, I have personal drama and health drama. 

  

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• lemonsprinkles23

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  YES!! I feel that way everyday and I have five months until my wedding. Im still missing the limo, DJ, and havent finalized flowers, invites, rentals. UGH! Then there's all the little thing that I haven't thought yet. Don't worry! It'll all come together. Just keep on top of it.  I use the knot checklist to help.
  

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• berrytr

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I feel the same way and my wedding is Marhc 27th!  There's still so much I need to get done: RD favors, reception favors, pew bows, first fitting, undergarments, candy buffet items, etc.  Lots of little details.  And still just trying to keep up with daily stuff like laundry while prepping my house for my FI to move in after we get married so he has a little room for his clothes and shoes. UGH!  But, every time I check something on my list, I feel a little better.

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• africandiva member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

     Join the club. i still dont have a photographer and i'm lik3-4 months in. plus everything isnt paid for. the only hope i have is that everything is all included at my venue, food, entertainment etc. and i have booked a room super close to the venue. but i feel u plus no invites have been sent. i wasnt sure if i was going to get married. yikes i know.

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• feleciae19

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  
  
  Say What! I feel better now ! I am not the only one that is stressed. I can feel it all in my bones. I am going to get a wedding planner cause I can't do all this stuff by myself.
  
  I have 5 1/2 months away no DJ, don't know what food I want, STD are not out yet (doing it this month), I see now that I need lots of help.
  
  
  I also am working a new job so, I am Stesssssed!!!

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• Vanessa A member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Yeah, I was a bit stressed but once I finalized my ideas and was able to map out everything, I felt better.  My mom and sister have been a large help and they often remind me when I forget something (last thing I forgot was the Father/Daughter dance song for the DJ, thanks sis for catching that). If you have a support system, def use them. That's what helped me. It also helps that my FI is the calmest person in the world. He literally makes me feel like what I'm stressing about is not worth risking a heart attack. He calms me. 18 days to go and I'm so ready. Hope things get better, have fun and relish in your planning process. God bless.

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• ladylum member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Feeling overwhelmed because I still need to do baby stuff and wedding stuff. I figured I will get baby stuff done first and while on maternity leave get wedding stuff done.

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• Deidra123

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Tamtam7,

  
  

  Honey, I haven't felt overwhelmed and I would like to offer some tips to you that may help. 
  
  With regard to blocking the hotels and identifying bakers and setting up a cake tasting, these are all things that your fiance can do as they do not involve a great deal of artistic input (so you wouldn't have to worry about having to give him so much feedback that you feel like it would be faster to do it yourself).  My fiance actually picked the save the date cards, and helped me pick cakes that looked nice off the internet, and is picking the invitations.  He picked about 5 and I will make the fnal selection (so he feels involved and I can make the final selection to ensure that it goes with our theme and look).  The point is, he received these assignments b/c *I gave them to him*.  Girl, it's his wedding too.  Assign him some stuff and take a load off yourself. LOL.
  
  So maybe you can enlist your fiance to call up a hotel and block the rooms.  It really only takes about 10 minutes, then he signs the agreement and sends it back.  Also, identifying bakers and setting up a cake tasting appointment will only take a few minutes but it will be weight off your shoulders.
  
  The way that you are speaking in your post, it almost sounds like you are getting married all by yourself.  (Just being silly here).
  
  The other thing that I've done is delegate tasks to my bridesmaids - but only the ones that I KNOW can handle it and who I WON'T have to hold their hands through it.  You have to know who you're dealing with and not assign something to someone that you don't trust to carry it out properly and who you haven't seen be able to handle business in the past (with other matters).
  
  The other thing that I'm doing is enlisting my Mother for alot of the artistic feedback (ex: what flowers would look good with the bouquets, etc.).  Do you have a relative that is excited for you and wants to get involved?  This could be a great opportunity to enlist his/her help.  Choose somebody that will help you carry out YOUR vision and is happy for you (as opposed to someone that just wants to be a BOSS and carry out his/her own vision).
  
  So, two tips:
  1. Assign some of the outstanding items to your fiance
  2. Delegate some of the outstanding items to your bridesmaids
  3. Enlist the help of a relative that wants to be involved and who will follow your lead
  
  Planning a wedding is a huge event with tons of small and important details.  One person can't do it alone (unless she wants to drive herself crazy).  This way, by delegating, you may be able to sit back and enjoy a little bit more of your engagement period and relish in this moment b/c it will never be again.
  
  GL!
  
  Deidra

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• MrsW2000

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I felt the same way 6 months out.  I had just gotten over a dry spell of not having anything to do and once the 6 month mark hit it was time to hit the ground running again. 
  
  What worked for me was making a list and checking it twice.  Seeing everything down on paper made a huge difference.  Write down everything you can think of that needs to get done.  Place it in order of importance.  You can also subcategorize it (i.e. ceremony, reception, yourself, etc.)  Also, once you have everything down on paper look on the Knot checklist to make sure there isn't anything you could have possibly left off.   
  
  Once you start crossing off things that have been completed trust me when I say the tension will start to ease!
  
  GL Tamtam7!

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• OFF

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  It's natural to feel overwhelmed.  Wedding planning is a huge task and you're so emotionally involved it's hard to see the forest from the trees.  The best thing to do is make your own check list.  I took the one from theknot and then personalized it with stuff I needed to do and dates I knew I wanted it done by.  That helped alot!  Also enlist someone else dependable to help.  You may not be able to delegate everything but everything you put on someone else's plate will help keep you on track and from going crazy.  Just remember to breathe and try not to stress yourself out too much.  Remember it's a happy time a time to celebrate and party. 

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• Spim7

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I am completely overwhelmed. People keep asking me if I'm nervous and did I know there were only 90 something days left, etc. they just make it so much worse. It's just so much and I know I'm forgetting stuff. I definitely never expected to feel this way.

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• Deidra123

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Tamtam,
  Further to my previous post, not sure if this is stating the obvious but, if it's in your budget, you might consider getting a planner to finish things up for you (and to help with making sure that everything is done and you're not missing anything).  With the economy the way that it is, some of them are getting pretty reasonable.  I've also heard that you can get new planners on Craigslist for relatively little $$ and if the things are things that will be done before the date of the wedding (like the cake, save the date cards, etc.) it doesn't seem that risky to go with someone new since you can let the person go if it doesn't work out. 
  
  Just another option since it wasn't mentioned and you may have $$ for it.
  
  GL!

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• ChocolateDelight member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with everything Deidra said in her post.  It is natural to feel overwhelmed but to minimize the stress, you need to prioritize and delegate tasks to others.  If you can afford it, hire a wedding coordinator (which I did early on in the process).  I also delegated tasks to hubby (transportation, groomsmen attire, drinks, & photography).   I follow up with him on a regular basis to make sure he is staying on task.  There are so many times he wants to brush things off to the last minute, but I have to remind him that I am a worrywart and if he wants me to retain my sanity, he would just do it for me irregardless of how much time he thinks he has.  And my approach works most of the time.

  
  

  I have not delegated anything to any of my bms.  Most of them are out of town and they already have their hands full with family and careers.  All I told them is that I need for them to order their dress and show up during the week of the wedding vow renewal.
  
  My mom has also been very been helpful in keeping me organized.  Everything I had bought so far for the wedding (decor, gifts) are in my guest room which she has organized, labeled and created a tracking list.  So  when my wedding planner comes to pick up all of the stuff at least 2-3 weeks before the event, we will know where eveything is.
  
  So, take a step back and come up with a plan of attack for the next 6 months.  You can do it and we are all here to listen and help you.  

  
  

  You have come a long way and now is not the time to quit or give up.  You are going to finish strong and have a lovely wedding. 

  
  
  

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• DSTbride15

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Can I jump in & say I am overwhelmed as well. I am 4 months away from the big day, and while I have a good start on most things, there are so many loose ends. My wedding planner is good, but she works full time so she is not always available to me as ideas pop up. As for support system, my family is no help (that's another post..), his family is willing to help, but umm they are a bit "urban" so I don't trust that things will look elegant.
  
  I have my friends/sister circle, but I hate that every convo is about the wedding, so I hold things inside. My FI is willing to help & has given me his total support, but he's not gonna type the program, knows nada about fonts or monograms, so I find myself doing it all solo.
  
  At this point, I would like to just find someone's invites & program that I like, change their personal info to mine & hit print....Jeez.....
  
  So stressed in Richmond,
  Debbie

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• tamtam7 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Thanks ladies, you all are sooooooo awesome!  That's why I love this site.

  @Dstbride, I'm so glad that I'm not alone.  You are too funny with, "my FI family is urban" As far as templates for programs are concerned, maybe you can check out this site.  http://weddings.shanbritedesigns.com/templates.htm. I've not checked out the program template yet, but I hope that helps.
  
  @chocolatedelight, thanks for the advice and words of encouragement.  I wish I could afford a wedding planner, but I'm afraid that I am fast approaching my budget limit.

  
  

  @Spim7, don't you just hate the people that stress you out even more than you already were. URGH!

  
  

  @OFF I like your suggestion to personalize The Knot's checklist

  
  

  @MrsW2000, that is exactly how I feel, I was pretty calm before the holidays, and now it's like crunch time.  I like your idea to subcategorize.  I'm a list person myself, so that may help.  I love the sense of satisfaction when I check things off. LOL

  
  

  @Deidre123, thanks for the helpful advice.  I wish I could get more help from my FI, but he hates this wedding, so he is taking this passive aggressive rebellious approach towards the whole thing.  It's more work to ask  him to do it.  He feels like we should just go to the Justice of the Peace and go on a vacation somewhere, because he feels that the money that we'll spend on the wedding should go towards something we need for the house (vinyl siding).  But I'm not going crazy with the budget.  He' s just being a butt.  I also can't get the help of my BM because they are all out of town, so it will just be easier for me to do it.  I'm not really good at delegating, honestly.

  
  

  @VanessaA, I wish I had supportive family and friends like you.  My family is all out of state, so it would be difficult for them to help.  I do have a cousin that said she would be willing to help with DIY projects, and my FI's aunt is willing to help too.

  
  

  @felciae19, you are not the only one girl!
  
  @pawdap, I'm sorry that you are going through health problems.  Take care of yourself girl!

  
  
  

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