Jewish Weddings

Public Attending to the Bride -- Brides who didn't initially want to do it

Did anyone wind up doing a public attending to the bride who was initially opposed to it?  How did this feel for you?  Thanks!

Re: Public Attending to the Bride -- Brides who didn't initially want to do it

  • edited December 2011
    Do you mean a bedeken or "veiling ceremony"??? I am doing one.
  • edited December 2011

    as pp said, if you mean bedekken (veiling) by "attending to the bride" i also did mine publicly.  we had always planned on doing it that way, and it was really really beautiful.  i would say that if you can manage it, that you should not miss out on this beautiful jewish tradition.  we also signed our ketubah with all the wedding guests in attendance at the bedekken following the bride's and groom's tisches.

    my sister and her husband hadn't planned on doing the bedekken and ketubah publicly at their wedding last year, but things worked out that way and they were both very happy to have all of us in attendance as they signed their ketubah and saw each other for the first time.

  • edited December 2011
    I mean the kabbalat panim... thanks!
  • edited December 2011
    I haven't gotten married yet but I was planning on doing it until my rabbi suggested it. My haredi soon to be brother in law did it and it was very nice for him to see the bride for the first time during the veiling ceremony. My FI and I are taking photos before the wedding in Jaffo and Neve Tzedek as is custom in non-observant couples. So we will not be seeing each other for the first time during the veiling ceremony but I personally think it's a sweet tradition to carry on.

    Hey RainLaurel, Boston brides unite! Where are you getting married???
  • edited December 2011
    I definitely didn't want a public veiling and we initially were going to do it with just the families, but it was enough just getting through the signings that I had to get out of there and we needed a moment, so we had a private veiling and I couldn't be happier.

    We also met for photos before hand, because there was no way to do it otherwise, but it was still a nice moment.  The only other moment we had alone the whole night (and I totally suggest doing this, though get around it and opt not to) was yichud.  We loved it and it was such a nice moment for us.
  • Jeni35Jeni35 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The kabbalat panim is when you greet the bride and groom separately and bless them both. I am not sure if you are asking to do this publicly? I will be doing this. I will be in the bride's room and my fi will be in the outer hallway. We're not having a huge wedding; but I think it is nice. The same goes for the bedeken and the ketubah signing.  I've asked about doing a te'naim; but we meet again with our rabbi tonight, so we will see. 
  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    not sure if this will be of much help, but here is my experience:

    we decided NOT to do the kabbalat panim, and after all was said and done i wish i had.

    the reason i wish i had, is because we had a large wedding.  we thought it would be easy to talk and greet all of our guests during the reception and the end of the cocktail hour (during the beginning of the cocktail hour we were in yichud).

    because of yichud, we obviously did not have a receiving line.  we were not able to greet all of our guests or spend as much time with them as i had wanted to because of how large or wedding was.

    if we had a kabbalat panim, i feel i would have been able to greet and talk to more people.

    if you're having a smaller wedding, it probably isn't as necessary.  but if you're wedding is on the larger side, i'd probably recommend doing it.  plus, i think it just seems like a nice tradition in general.

    hth!
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  • edited December 2011
    thanks!  how large is large for a wedding?  Ours will be about 230 people.
  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ours was about that size as well.
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  • edited December 2011
    We did it and loved it!
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