"The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?!

S&D23 · October 2012

I'm so torn! Do our photos before the ceremony or do them after. Thoughts?

buttrflyah · October 2012

I am doing as much as possible before. Like PP said, I don't want to miss my cocktail hour or any of the reception. Also, I don't think I could emotionally handle walking down the aisle with my Dad AND seeing FI for the first time. I'd be one ugly blubbering bride!

DeDeSwe · October 2012

i personally am not a fan of the idea. We are doing our church early instead. That moment in the church when he sees you for the first time was a very important one to me. You lose that incredible moment if you see eachother prior to.

GiGiV2012 · October 2012

We're taking all of our pictures beforehand. I want to be able to enjoy our cocktail hour with our family and friends.

HobokensFury · October 2012

I wanted an evening ceremony but out door photos so we took all of our pics before hand. It did not take anything away from the moment I walked down the aisle. If anything we were able to enjoy it more because all of the nerves were gone and we were just so happy to get married. We were also not pressed for time. We would have been if we were limited to the cocktail hour only.

Danes983 · October 2012

We did before, and we totally would do it again. My husband actually told me it was his favorite part of the crazy day we had. It was just him and I at the first look, then we met the bridal party at the Venue to take pictures.

Giaspo · October 2012

I absolutely loved our first look. It was such a special moment and I'm so glad just the two of us shared it (well, 4 if you include the photographer and video guy). We got all of our photos and jitters out of the way and, even so, were both nervous and giddy for the ceremony. We got to enjoy the cocktail hour and reception.

The ONLY thing I regret (as dumb as it sounds) is not getting a "getting dressed" shot with my bridesmaids fully dressed in their gowns. I love that photo and mine has me with only two BMs in their sweat pants, because not everyone was ready. If I could do it over again, I'd stage this once they were ready to go.

agu101 · October 2012

We did a first look and I wouldn't have done it any other way. It was such a special moment to be able to see each other and talk right at that moment, rather than seeing each other at the altar and not being able to say anything until after the ceremony. Plus, as PPs have said, it gave a chance to not feel rushed and get photos out of the way before the ceremony. We had our ceremony at our venue, so there really would have been very liittle time to do pics between ceremony and reception. Plus, we were able to utilize cocktail hour to go around and say hello to everyone, that way once we got to our reception we could just enjoy it and each other.

JoanE2012 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_the-look-before-pictures-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:9bcfc482-6d4d-42ab-b643-987c4d8b38e8Post:decd2d2f-bf6c-4362-ab09-63e30b2f7ddc">Re: "The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?!</a>:
[QUOTE]i personally am not a fan of the idea. <strong>We are doing our church early instead</strong>. That moment in the church when he sees you for the first time was a very important one to me. You lose that incredible moment if you see eachother prior to.
Posted by DeDeSwe[/QUOTE]

If you do your church early, you should have your reception earlier. It's rude to have a gap and make the guests wait.

jcg98 · October 2012

I saw this today and thought you ladies might enjoy some really lovely "first look" shots!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/24-grooms-seeing-their-brides-for-the-first-time-6z51

We didn't do one - I wanted to, but H refused - but the photog got a good shot of him tearing up as I came down the aisle.

nikole712 · October 2012

I want to do First Look photos, FI is more traditional and wants to wait for church. Hoping to change his mind in the next year before our wedding!

DeDeSwe · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_the-look-before-pictures-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:9bcfc482-6d4d-42ab-b643-987c4d8b38e8Post:fa39eadc-fe90-48fd-99f8-0b270b653b81">Re: "The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?! : If you do your church early, you should have your reception earlier. It's rude to have a gap and make the guests wait.
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Nope, reception is later. My guests can wait. Only family and close friends go to the church anyway. There are more than enough options of things for them to do in the interim. They love us, they'll wait. </div>

HobokensFury · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_the-look-before-pictures-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:9bcfc482-6d4d-42ab-b643-987c4d8b38e8Post:3ecbb755-766e-4393-a640-6f82a090c3af">Re: "The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?! : Nope, reception is later. My guests can wait. Only family and close friends go to the church anyway. There are more than enough options of things for them to do in the interim. They love us, they'll wait.
Posted by DeDeSwe[/QUOTE]

Sorry but this is a poor attitude to have. A wedding is about being a proper host which means inconveniencing you're guests as little as possible. Yes they'll wait but no they woun't like it. They woun't tell you to your face because etiquette works both ways but you can be sure they'll talk about it among themselves. Just because they love you doesn't give you the right to be rude to them.

JoanE2012 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_the-look-before-pictures-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:9bcfc482-6d4d-42ab-b643-987c4d8b38e8Post:3ecbb755-766e-4393-a640-6f82a090c3af">Re: "The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?! : Nope, reception is later. My guests can wait. Only family and close friends go to the church anyway. There are more than enough options of things for them to do in the interim. They love us, they'll wait.
Posted by DeDeSwe[/QUOTE]

Wow, aren't you so kind to the people you care about! <rolls eyes />

Of course they'll wait, but don't think your rude actions will not be talked about behind your back. A wedding reception is your thank you to your GUESTS......this is not all about you. If all you care about is yourself you should have a private ceremony.

cindy0506 · October 2012

The whole concept of the first look being saved for the church is not event religous, it comes from the time when weddings were arragned. I am all for first look before hand. It allows you and the groom to react more naturally and not worrying about showing emotions in front of 100+ people.

S&D23 · October 2012

Thanks for all the feedback ladies!! I'm thinking we may just do the look before. I need to find the perfect place in the area to make it extra special!

Mrs.JBW · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_the-look-before-pictures-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:9bcfc482-6d4d-42ab-b643-987c4d8b38e8Post:b78c3d2a-5b76-4540-bd9e-5797bab07292">"The Look Before" pictures - thoughts?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm so torn! Do our photos before the ceremony or do them after. Thoughts?
Posted by S&D23[/QUOTE]

An opinion from an OLD nestie - I loved doing our photos ahead of time. We had an evening wedding and we would have lost every opportunity for outdoor photos if we didn't do them early. We had the chance to see each other and talk to each other. When I walked down the aisle, I was fully in the moment, my nerves were settled by spending time with my best friend before the wedding.

As far as the comment about making guests wait. I really dislike the break between afternoon weddings and evening receptions. We ALWAYS go to the wedding. Those vows and the ceremony are the reason for the party. Most people I know make a point of going to the ceremony and a 2-3 hour wait is a long time to "hang out" in dressy clothes.

rlavach · October 2012

We did all of our pictures before & it was the best decision. We got to do a first look which was a wonderful moment. Then we took the pictures with all of the bridal party and parents. It really set us at ease and helped us enjoy the day. We didn't have to rush or try to cram things in. We actually enjoyed the cocktail hour along with our friends. Best. Decision. Ever.

And I agree with the comments regarding the 'my guests can wait.' That is a terrible attitude to have. As the host of the wedding, you are there to accomodate them, not yourself. Having massive gaps in between is really inconsiderate. Unfortunately, not everyone cares.

shannyb41 · October 2012

We aren't doing a first look. I want to see my fiance for the first time as I'm walking down the isle. We have a 4pm ceremony and 6pm cocktail hour...the church and venue aren't too far (20-25 min) and we are doing pics at a place in the middle. Our cocktail hour is actually an hour and a half so if we miss the very beginning that's fine.

I get why people do it..but it's not just for me. I can see the pros and cons to both...I guess its really just personal preference. The thing I've been looking forward to the most is that first time I see my fiance when those doors open at the church. I know it would be special if we did a first look too...but it's just not the way I pictured it.

Also, I would never do my ceremony earlier just to have enough time for the pictures. I think thats a little rude

. The only reason why I was even considering a first look was to make things easier for my guests to just be all in one place (I was considering a ceremony on site instead of in a church).

shannyb41 · October 2012

Also, I had a concern about guests arriving to the venue early and I've already spoken to the venue (and people who have used the venue) and as soon as the first guest arrives drinks will be available and they will begin putting out food. It may just be the smaller stuff first....crackers, cheese, fruit etc but the earliest anyone would get there would be 5 since the ceremony is at 4 and will be a half hour. But I've already made those arrangements. I've been to a wedding where we had nothing to do between the long break (it was my own cousins wedding!) and we stood around in the venue lobby for like an hour....with no food or even cocktails. So I would neeevvveeerr do that. Once I was assured that arrangements would be made I was comfortable with it.

So, just something else to consider. If you want to do pics after the ceremony and have a gap between them...talk to your venue about how they handle early arrivals. I have an aunt who is always ridiculously early to everything so she was the one I had in mind when I brought up my concerns lol.

Whatever you decide, it will be perfect!

miclan · October 2012

I think it is a good idea. For one, I'm getting married in November, and my ceremony is at 5 so it will start getting dark by the time we take pictures. Also I don't want to be rushed, my cousin did it and she got to take a lot of pictures with people other than the bridal party after the ceremony since those pictures were all done already, whereas my sister did pics during cocktail hour and we were running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Also at an expo I went to, a photographer was saying how you can really capture the bride and grooms genuine emotion when they first see each other better when it's just the 2 of them without everyone watching.

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