Coworker invites

osuchica85 · February 2012

I was wondering how everyone else is approaching coworker invites. I work at a hospital as a nurse and I have everyone from case management, liaisons, speech, you name it coming and asking about their invites. Obviously I cannot invite anyone....and part of me thinks they just want an invite and they don't actually plan on coming because the wedding is 6 hours away....but I don't want to just give a massive invite like how all the nurses on my unit have in the past (with exception of one which was an island destination wedding-we've had 6 weddings since I've started). I don't want to do the massive invite because I know people have shown up in groves. I honestly wasn't going to invite anyone just to make everyone on the same page but there are a select few people that are almost like my work mothers that I sort of want to invite (nearly everyone I work with is a good 20 years older than me). I am afraid if I do this, I risk upsetting people. Especially because one (that I wasn't going to invite) I have personally seen looking into making a vacation out of it for the family by going to Cedar Point as well that weekend. Anyway, so I just thought it would be interesting to see what others are doing. Thanks!

sarah260 · February 2012

I'm also a (fairly young) nurse, and I work on the unit where I started as a student nurse and have developed into my nursing role - I feel the "work mother" vibe a lot from some coworkers. Working with mostly women also presents a little bit of an issue, as most are interetested in the wedding plans and perhaps would like to attend.

For budget purposes, I ended up inviting those to whom I feel the closest. Some of the women who have recently gotten married on our floor did the whole post a collective invite on the break room wall and let what happens happen, but I just couldn't afford to do that. You may hurt some feelings by inviting some and not everyone, but I think most people will understand - especially if they have recently gotten married or been involved in wedding planning. Everyone understands that money isn't limitless!

If you do invite some but not all of the unit, I would suggest mailing the invites rather than taking them to work. That should limit the talk at work.

hmbennett318 · February 2012

I work in a pretty small office, so I'm inviting everyone. There is only one person that I do NOT want to invite, but I can't invite everyone else and not him. It would cause some back lash and it's just not worth it. Especially since it's very likely he won't come anyway!

I agree with PP, though. Invite those that you are close to and mail them to their homes.

jjolovich · February 2012

I work in a small office as well and therefore am inviting everyone, my fiance works with a bigger group, and he told me to alot 36 spaces, meaning 18 plus SO's. But i agree with PP invite who you want to be there. But i feel the same way how your obligated to invite everyone!

libby2483 · February 2012

I am a high school teacher, but this is my first year at the school and I am getting married over three hours away from where I work. Because of these factors, along with space restrictions, I am just inviting the people that are in the English department. I would say if your budget and space allow (and you want to), invite everyone. Otherwise, I would just invite those you are close with and mail the invites to their homes.

Ajoyd · February 2012

My wedding is also quite a ways away from where I work--7 hours driving. I am only inviting coworkers who I consider friends. I just think it would be awkward to invite others plus, like you, it would be hard to decide where to draw the line. If I invited my whole office that would be like 30 people plus dates!

It sounds like my situation is different from yours though. No one besides my close work friends have asked about invites (and of course they know they're invited) and I think most of them will be just as happy to not be invited.

LittleMissCutiePie · February 2012

Only invite coworkers you spend time with on a friendship-basis. Don't talk wedding at work. Simple as that.

Lizlangevin · February 2012

As a teacher I have decided on just my grade level colleagues..

bmetz34 · February 2012

I am in the same situation, working as a nurse in a unit where I am only close to some of the people. I think the people I'm not inviting would talk either way, so I'm not that stressed about not having them there. Our guest list is so bare bones, that I don't have room for anyone I'm not actually close friends with. Therefore I'm only inviting people that I've hung out with outside of work, or those I spend most of my time with at work and get along well with. My only issue is inviting all of their SO's who I have never met. But maybe they'll all decide to just come together and leave the men at home lol.

Lauren1102 · February 2012

I think you should be able to invite who you want to. However if you mail out the invites thesome might talk and asking others if they got an invite too, which could end up making things complicated an having others ask you where their invite was. Maybe you could send a little note with the ones that you are inviting explaining that to them or tell them in person before sending out invites. Good luck!!

leamide · February 2012

I only invited the people within my office and another office person that I have been close with since I started. There was one person in my office that I wasn't sure about inviting but it didn't seem right to invite all the others and not him, so he got an invite too, (there are only 5 of us in the office). I have 8 people that report to me and didn't invite any of them, I just felt weird about inviting them since they report to me. Anyway, that was how I handled my invites from the office.

colstj1 · February 2012

I work as an intern where I go to school. I will be graduating in May and so that is when my internship will end. I thought about inviting more than just my manager (who is also a friend of mine), but we work at a conference center and I know my other managers have to be at the reception that is being held on the same day as my wedding. Plus I just haven't gotten as close with them. So, we are just sending out an invite to my main manager who I actually knew before I got hired (she is a sorority sister of mine).

i2012do · February 2012

I work in a small office. Its just my boss, a part time girl and a part time accountant that comes once a week.

I know the part time accounttant doesnt expect to get an invite because she is older and i know she knows its hard to invite people etc (she has 4 daughters who are all married so she gets it!) and also she tries to keep things rather professional.

I feel obligated to invite the part time girl I've worked wth her for two year and sometimes we do dinner with her and her husband so I have SEEN her scoially outside of work. Also, if i was having a christmas party or something i would invite her.

She recently had a baby on my wedding date, so next year is his first bday on our wedding. I am assuming she is having a big blowout first bday and probably isnt even going to come to my wedding.

then there is my boss. i'm not inviting her, but even if i did she wouldn't come. I don't want her to feel insulted and the part time girl thinks i have to invite my boss. But i dont EVER see her outside of work and i would feel uncomfrotable inviting her, so I'm not.

CallMeMrsChaos · February 2012

My budget unfortunately does not permit inviting everyone from the office to the wedding. Although I work in a smaller law office, once you add in secretaries and personnel, (and SOs) it can get pretty extensive.

For that reason, I have only allotted space for the law firm partners. They are more on par with office "friends".

There was one secretary from the office, that I would have loved to include, but, we are such good friends, i skipped the headache, and is she is a bridesmaid in the wedding. Problem solved!

random4180 · February 2012

I answered "other" because it's complicated, lol? I started working at a new job maybe three months after I got engaged. It's at a school with over 100 employees- I've been debating just inviting my head teacher and the 3 other TAs in my room but still not sure about that since I've been at this job less than four months...and then there was the job I was working before this one, which I left less than two weeks before I got engaged. Very close-knit group which I'd consider pretty good friends but also about 2.5 hours away from my wedding- I'm inviting them but also not entirely sure if they'd be able to come.

osuchica85 · February 2012

Thanks everyone for the responses. It was interesting to see some of the reasoning behind your invites or lack thereof.

My unit actually has about 100 employees on it throughout the day...so it is weird...it isn't a traditional unit because of that....You would think more employees would make it so the relations are not as close but that is not necessarily the case. I do go out with about 15 of the girls 1-2x's a month for dinner and drinks and we know alot about each others business. I still consider nearly all of them coworkers only though...so I think I am still leaning on not inviting anyone. After thinking more about it, I know how everyone talks (as I work with 95% women) and I think it might be easiest for me to just start saying no one is invited and blame it on budget.

Although....I am looking for a new job anyway...maybe I can get out before formal invites to avoid actually saying no one is truly invited. Probably shouldn't count on that though!

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