Any RSVP stress?

adawn1981 · February 2013

Hey girls! I see almost everyone has gotten their invites out and a bunch of people are getting RSVP's back already!! We sent out a little early and need a headcount 5-6 weeks prior to the wedding. I figured I would have to chase some people down for their answer, but there is only 9 days left until the final date we asked for our RSVPs to be returned and we are still missing almost HALF of them!! I think we 47 people that haven't replied!! Anyone else getting close to their RSVP date and surprised at how many people haven't responded yet?

cncoombs · February 2013

We are missing over 50 responses and our deadline is Feb 22...I think this is common...phone calls just need to be placed.

Good Luck!!

lpick21 · February 2013

We're about halfway to our 192 and I asked that they respond by March 8.

I think a lot of people will wait til the last possible second, but also there are people who simply don't think they need to do it! What I'll do when the date comes is have whoever invited the person contact them, so if it's someone from FMIL's list, have her call, and so on.

orangehills · February 2013

Don't worry- you'll probably get a lot of them the week they are due, any you don't receive- just plan to make time to make phone calls!

Thankfully I'm only missing RSVPs from 4 people, but 2 of them are in the wedding party, and 1 I see all the time, and 1 said they were sending theirs soon. So hopefully I get them soon so I can be done!

adawn1981 · February 2013

Thanks

I am hoping that alot of them will be in the mailbox this week! Is there anything wrong with a very polite reminder email for friends and coworkers? They are due next Thursday and I was thinking of somthing like the below: sent out on Monday next week?

Hello,
Just a reminder that our wedding is just around the corner! We are hoping to get our guest list finalized in the next week so that we can finish up all of the planning! Please send that RSVP in when you get a chance, or you could always just let us know by email/text or in person! Thank you

Is that too pushy? Would you be upset if somebody sent you that email 4 days before RSVPs are due? Should we wait until after they are due? There are just so many people that we don't know about, I am not sure if we will be able to get ahold of everyone before we need their answers!

BrittRN+ · February 2013

Our RSVPs are due in 9 days and only half have responded. Everyone we expected to come has replied and it seems like everyone who can't come doesn't even care enough to say so. It's annoying.

lpick21 · February 2013

I would maybe wait to send that until the day they are due, or the day after. I understand where you're coming from, but give them a chance to make the deadline

I think your wording is perfect, though.

faile556 · February 2013

Total invited 151, total responded 47. :P

It's annoying because RSVP ing isn't all that difficult!

Oh well, lots of phone calls I guess.

allychase · February 2013

I hate to say it but to anyone who has an RSVP deadline more than 4 weeks before the wedding- this is the exact reason why it's advised that you don't make the deadline this early. It's possible these people don't know what plans they'll have in 2 months. When you make the deadline 4 weeks or less before the event people will have a better idea and it isn't so insanely early that theyre more likely to remember to send the RSVP out. My wedding is April 26th and our RSVP date is the 6th. I did it this way in the hopes of not having to chase down too many people. Unfortunately in these scenarios you're gonna have to chase down a lot of people. Good luck!

adawn1981 · February 2013

That may be true for some Ally, but some people have different deadlines with thier venue, caterer, bar, buying favors etc. I think it is beyond annoying to not RSVP when you are close to the couple and you have known the wedding date for 7 months, thanks to the Save The Date. At this point, it is just laziness and not "not knowing their plans". There may be *maybe* 5 or so people that do not know if they can get time off of work or afford a plane ticket, but that 5 is on the high side- so makes 10 with their guest. Everyone else should know and should RSVP. No matter the deadline, people should know that the couple should not need to stress about attendance and that there is a deadline set at a specific date for a reason. Our RSVPs are due 7 weeks before the wedding, we need a final number 5 weeks out minimum, some vendors wanted it 6-8 weeks in advance. So I do not think it is unreasonable to ask friends and family to let us know 7 weeks in advance. We have no FMIL's guests or coworkers we aren't close to guests or anything like that. I will be gearing up to make phone calls though - thankfully I did get 2 in the mail today, so that knocks 4 people off of the list to call. Irritating!!!

mabapunta · February 2013

I guess I'm not 100% sure when our vendors need them, but I'm pretty sure the caterer was fine with a couple weeks out. I think the cake baker was fine with that as well.

Wedding is April 13th. Deadline is March 23rd.

We just mailed them out like a week or two ago.

We got 7 in the mail today! So we're at 35 Yes, 2 No, 186 waiting...

I will harass family and friends if I need to. I'm not wasting money on a maybe when there really isn't a good excuse. Don't worry, though, I'll wait until AFTER the deadline to start that :-P

[Deleted User] · February 2013

I'd wait until after the deadline has passed to harass people. You never know if people just send them in last minute and might be annoyed by a reminder email. Plus, that's very impersonal.

So I'd just wait and call any who haven't RSVPed.

FWIW, I do get it because I'm already freaking and our RSVP due date is 3/17. I'm getting simultaneously freaked about having too few or too many people. Oy. And I just got an invitation returned to sender today - no idea why. Luckily, it's a good friend who I know has all of the info but still...it sucks.

bdpbride · February 2013

YES!

I'm not sure why its stressing me out but it is. I do have about half of the rsvps and I realize its still early and they have a couple more weeks to respond but there are a lot of things I have to do when I find out the numbers definitely attending so I just want to know NOW lol.

tiny speck · February 2013

Definitely wait until after your deadline to send emails or phone people. It will just look really pushy if you do it before.

It is stressful; most of our missing rsvps are also people we see often, but we've still got over a week for them to come in. Plenty of time!

Christine9866 · February 2013

I am not too worried about it. Our RSVP date is March 8, our wedding is April 5. It gives us about 1 week to hunt people down. We invited 148 and have heard from 66 people. They will come in, I know some of my bffs who do not have boyfriends but are dating individuals are trying to figure out their +1's so I am sure I may get those last minute.

[Deleted User] · February 2013

Unfortunately, most people do not RSVP anymore. It is sad the number of people who don't do it. I did an RSVP card, but it had several different ways people could respond.

Email, website or they could mail a card in (usually for the older people.) The email/website has been working very well. I didn't want to spend money on stamps when I knew people weren't going to put it in the mail.

You will have a handful of people who will find that response card and send it in a week or 2 before the wedding. So when you have to give your venue a number, remember to still round up.

[Deleted User] · February 2013

Ugh...no RSVPs in the mail today :-( boo...I've received about 25% of the RSVPs in the first week and none of them were very surprising.

phoenix870509 · February 2013

I haven't gotten any in about a week. Wedding is Apr 12 and deadline is Mar 9. I am cross stitching all of the seating cards, so I wanted to give myself enough time to get all of them done. We are waiting to hear back on 50 or so more people.

erincooperca · February 2013

Maybe it's just me but I am assuming that people that do not RSVP are not interested in attending. What exactly do you say during these phone calls to people that have not responded? Just curious.

Any RSVP stress?

Re: Any RSVP stress?

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