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Vacation registry?

anna20420anna20420
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
Hi everyone!

My fiance and I have been living together for 6 years, so we have quite a bit of stuff. We plan on registering for a few things that will be new and a few replacement items. There's only about 100 items between both Target and BB&B.  I know that there isn't enough items at the two stores for the 200 wedding guests and the wedding shower at work. So, my question is, is it rude to register for honeymoon items like dinners, etc? It feels a little weird to me, but my family is insisting that I consider it. What do you all think?
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Re: Vacation registry?

  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    Yes. Very rude.
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  • librababylibrababy
    500 Comments
    With a smaller registry, some posters here think guests will get the hint that you prefer cash without you having to say so.  I would just use the cash you get from the wedding (and most likely you will since you have a smaller registry for 200 guests) for the honeymoon.
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  • anna20420anna20420
    First Comment

    Thank you librababy. That's what I was thinking, but my family kept insisting. I'll just ingore that specific piece of advice!

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  • JessicaPopJessicaPop member
    10 Comments
    If you have everything you need for your home and only registered for 100 things then I don't see why you shouldn't be able to do this. I wouldn't listen to what anyone has to say about YOUR wedding. I would think that you need a dinner while on your honeymoon more than you need an extra toaster. It's not rude, no one's going to consider it rude. 
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Use cash gifts you receive to pay for you own honeymoon extras.    

    What a lot of people dont' realize about honeymoon "registries" is that the company hosting the registry takes a cut of the gift.  So, for example, let's say your guests think they are buying you a couple's massage for $200.  The company takes it's cut of, say, $20, then cuts you a check for $180.  You don't actually GET the couple's massage, you still get a check, minus the fee.   As a guest, I would be pretty upset if I thought I bought someone a massage and they got a check for 90% of what I paid....


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  • krizzo17krizzo17 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    If your family has suggested it, I think it's ok to say "We don't feel comfortable creating a honeymoon registry, but if there's something in particular you'd like to book for us, we would appreciate it"...but only when they bring it up, not a mass announcement or anything.

    The part about HM registries that is rude is they are thinly veiled requests for cash, and your guests don't realize that the registry takes a fee out of their gift before you get it.
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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Your family knows how HM registries work, right? They know that the registry is a request for cash and that people don't need a website to collect cash gifts for you? They know you don't get the actual gift from the registry but cash to do with what you want, right? 
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  • rondokyerondokye
    10 Comments
    To be honest, I'm on the fence about this.  I think that it is rude to directly ask for cash.  But my FI and I are in the same boat that a lot of other couples our age are - there simply isn't anything that we need.  We booked our honeymoon through AAA.  And when we did, our travel agent suggested a 'honeymoon registry' through them.  I grilled her about it until I felt comfortable with it as an option.  The office that we went through does not take a fee out.  100% of the gift given to the registry goes directly to us. 

    My mom, FMIL and FSILs planned my shower with a Jamaican theme (where we will be honeymooning).  And in the invite, they included all three registries - BBB, JC Pennys and AAA.  I received so much positive feedback from the guests.  All three registries were utilized and so many of my friends told me that it was a fantastic idea because they knew that what we really wanted was cash but wanted to actually put it to something, not just hand us money in an envelope.  Before the shower, I had friends trying to pay for other aspects of the wedding (i.e. invites, thank you cards, the day-of coordinator) because that's how they wanted to contribute.  Not so much by buying us new towels.

    Personally, I think that you need to be careful how and when you do it.  But in our case, I'm comfortable with how it worked out.
    "But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just Fabulous." - Carrie Sex and the City
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