my little one

mrs mikkelson · July 2010

hey there! ok so my fiance and i each have a little brother that we feel we need to include in our wedding as ring bearers... our problem is we have a baby boy that will 18 months when we get married. i am wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to include him in our big day!! this wedding is so stressful due to not hurting anyones feelings because we have so many siblings and friends we want to include.

my only idea is to have him walk down the isle with me and my father and than once we are married just walk bak down with us. but i dont know what to do or if that is a good idea.. i am just so stressed on including everyone!!

randikins · July 2010

You could have both of your little brothers be junior groomsmen. OR there is nothing permitting you from having 3 RB's. One of your brother's can carry your son down the aisle.
Maybe instead of your officiant presenting just you and your husband, maybe he can say something like, " I now present the ________ family."
Your idea is great too since you're still including him. He may not remember being included but you and your FI will and there will be pictures to cherish and look back on.

trix1223 · July 2010

Your brothers can still be ring bearers or groomsmen. Why not ask them which they'd prefer?

As for your son: I'm of the opinion that unless someone can get himself down the aisle on his own power, AND use words to explain what his role in the ceremony is and why he's doing it, he's too young to be a member of the WP.

In addition, this little angel is both of your biological child, so you're already a "family" regardless of your marital status. You became a family the moment that precious little boy entered the world. And nothing can take away from that, OR add to that.

I'd dress your son in a sweet little outfit. I'd have him sit with grandma or another family member during the ceremony. Then I'd have lots of pictures taken of you, your new DH, and your son.

A family dance at the reception would be so sweet. But the ceremony is for both of you to become husband and wife. You're already mommy and daddy and a family.

GL

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Listen to trix. She said it well.

I don't like the idea of the RB being carried down the aisle, either. Most churches (assuming you are getting married in one) will tell you they need to be at least 3 or 4 yrs old. I think he should definitely sit with family members or relatives and that way he can see Mommy and Daddy throughout the whole ceremony.

canadianpeapod · July 2010

Not quite the same thing but I was 3 when my parents got married. After they said their vows, they brought me up and my dad gave me a ring. The pictures of that moment are so special to me and are prominently displayed in my house. Obviously its different because your son is much younger than I was and is a boy.. If you were to work it so that you have something similar happen during the ceremony, then you would still get your pictures of you and your dad coming up the aisle and you and your husband coming back.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

I definitely ditto the idea that anyone who can't verbally explain what a wedding is and what they'd be doing has absolutely no need for an official role. Your son will have absolutely no concept of being included or excluded; he won't even know what's going on, other than that there are a lot of people around. Anything you do is for YOU, not him.

mysticl · July 2010

I was at a wedding where the couple's son was about the same age as your son will be. He did not go up to the alter. We had him in the bride's room getting ready before the wedding During the ceremony he sat with one of his uncles and then he sat with me and another friend of the bride for dinner. For the rest of the reception he napped in his stroller and ran around with his cousins. He didn't understand what was going on that day and giving him a role would have been too much for him.

Cole&Eric · July 2010

Reglardless of age, He is still your son, I personally think that you should include him somehow.. I am a wedding planner and have planned this same cernario many times...You can alway have him walk out with daddy holding him (kind of like your bouquet) then pass him off to a close member sitting there. Just because you are mommy and daddy to him doesn't mean you can't show your love to him as well, I am certain he will want pics one day, showing that he was apart of it. I think it is important for kids to know and one day see that memory....This is the day that mommy, daddy and baby became a family "as one"!!!

As for the brothers, use them both as a RB give them each a pillow, explain the role, go over and over with them what they have to do...Give them one ring each or if they are too young, give them fake rings and have the best man hold the real ones....

Cole&Eric · July 2010

If you are going to take the time to "vow" in front of your family and friends your love for one another, then you should want to make that same vow to your son!!!

afowler1216 · July 2010

put your little guy in a wagon and oneof your brother can pull him and the other carry the ring or be jr groomsmen and your little could carry your rings

trix1223 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_little-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:fd948844-e87f-4d92-b2e4-740c69e6bfd2Post:bb673bf6-a807-4299-824d-aae7097f48c6">Re: my little one</a>:
[QUOTE]If you are going to take the time to "vow" in front of your family and friends your love for one another, then you should want to make that same vow to your son!!!
Posted by Cole&Eric[/QUOTE]

They don't need to make a "vow" to love their son. They became a family the moment that little boy was born. They already ARE his mom and his dad. The ceremony is about making his mom and dad Husband and Wife. Two different things entirely.

If it's so important to make vows, why isn't there a "vow ceremony" every time a child is born?

Cole&Eric · July 2010

It's just MY opinion thats all, I think that including a child into a ceremony is a sweet thing, Again that is just MY opinion....

He is going to be 18 months, that is almost 2 years old, he will be walking, and kids understand at that age, its not like they are only a few months old.

I simply suggested that he is involved, for pics, keepsakes, something to show him when he is older.

Besides it has nothing to do with Husband and Wife, they are a family, they are becoming one, all three of them!! Most likely the baby has dads last name so mommy will now be joining them, How is that not special?? Why would you not want to include him??

my little one

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