Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?

ShakeUpTampa · May 2011

I'm reading some posts and realize: We are doing a Sit down place card setting dinner...

Did any of you have this and non rsvp'd show up? Extra kids not accounted for? A +1 not invited?

How do you handle avoiding this prior? (Anything you can put in the RSVP or Invite?) If you were unable to avoid it how did you deal the day of? Set up 1-2 tables for those not invited? But then they sit separate from their families.

any and all advice welcome :-)

ArmyofUs · May 2011

bouncer...

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2011

No, we did not have that problem. If you get RSVPs from everyone (and follow up with those who do not RSVP) you should know who is coming. If they show up, well, the venue can probably squeeze them in somewhere.

Avion22 · May 2011

I would think it would be pretty obious if you show up, after having RSVP'd no, or bring someone who wasn't invited, and find there is no placecard, then you're kind of out of luck.

You may naturally have some tables with fewer people where you could squeeze one more in if you had to. But then you'd have to know about the extras in time to make that happen....

LDYGTR13 · May 2011

My, you're question asky today!

It happens aaaaaaall the time. People RSVP and don't come, people DON'T RSVP and come...people kinda suck

ETA: yeah, I so didn't read this OP correctly, lol.

hlq2011 · May 2011

Holy questions, batman!

Yes, I've considered it. And my venue actually, it turns out, makes extra food to cover a variety of circumstances. We are doing a duet entree (steak and crab cake), so they make extra that are two steaks and two crabcakes in case people can't eat one or the other. So we're covered.

Brandiewine11 · May 2011

Please know this is not meant to be bitchy in any way: Step away from the keyboard! You have 9 months to go here. If you keep stressing about all the little things today, you're going to drive yourself nuts! Relax :-)

Also, try to search and read around on previous posts. You'll find a ton of info that will (hopefully) make you feel better. I think it's great you are trying to do this right!

ShakeUpTampa · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-ever-consider-non-rsvp-showing-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:16d04c75-d366-408e-bd98-4cda33484fffPost:7336b0c5-57f9-4836-8561-bdaf0ab67600">Re: Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?</a>:
[QUOTE]Holy questions, batman! Yes, I've considered it. And my venue actually, it turns out, makes extra food to cover a variety of circumstances. We are doing a duet entree (steak and crab cake), so they make extra that are two steaks and two crabcakes in case people can't eat one or the other. So we're covered.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

But is yours a place card seated or just sit as you please? This is my main concern as food is no problem there will be plenty...maybe not favors if I put the count in with the baker but certainly food. Everything will be done in seating chart form as I have hated every wedding I had to find some place to sit with random people I had nothing in common with.

laurenpm · May 2011

I don't think there is anything you can do prior...it may happen, or it may not. If it does...your venue coordinator/someone else can gracefully handle it. Don't stress too much about the "what ifs"

hlq2011 · May 2011

Mine is a seated meal, with escort cards.

If you're concerned, talk to your venue about if they'll have any extra food on hand in case. If people haven't RSVPd and show up without a place to sit, that's their own damn fault and they should have RSVPd.

ShakeUpTampa · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-ever-consider-non-rsvp-showing-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:16d04c75-d366-408e-bd98-4cda33484fffPost:1bc26bc9-a818-4a7f-9d79-42b284f7a0f8">Re: Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?</a>:
[QUOTE]Please know this is not meant to be bitchy in any way: Step away from the keyboard! You have 9 months to go here. If you keep stressing about all the little things today, you're going to drive yourself nuts! Relax :-) Also, try to search and read around on previous posts. You'll find a ton of info that will (hopefully) make you feel better. I think it's great you are trying to do this right!
Posted by Brandiewine11[/QUOTE]

Sorry :-) I have 3 months off from working FT before I go back to 60+ hrs a week working until right before the wedding, so compiling my info ...sorry if I posted too much :-x

Beachy730 · May 2011

I did not have anyone show up that didn't RSVP, becuase anyone whose card we didn't get we called to verify, which is what you're supposed to do.

Just to be safe though, we had an extra table at our venue where we sat our vendors. There were 5 extra place settings at the table just in case anyone did randomly show up. As for not having a place card, they shouldn't expect one if they didn't RSVP and didn't respond to your phone calls asking.

laurenpm · May 2011

Or you could always do an announcement like they did on the TLC show "Four Weddings" that said "If you did not RSVP, please sit outside". Suuuper awkward.

But in all seriousness, people pretty much get the idea of RSVPing for a wedding and it's their bad if they don't, you will be just fine

kcscejal · May 2011

Just call everyone who doesn't RSVP and everyone should be accounted for. I'd guess after you had heard from everyone or called them you're more likely to have people RSVP yes and not show up than the other way around.

[Deleted User] · May 2011

We didn't have anyone show up that didn't rsvp. We did, however, have it the opposite way around. We had a few people not show up that did rsvp.

adamar15 · May 2011

I have nothing to add, but I just wanted to say hi to another Tampa person!

hz80408 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-ever-consider-non-rsvp-showing-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:16d04c75-d366-408e-bd98-4cda33484fffPost:0713666a-1745-4ed9-bea5-0931b4156fe1">Re: Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?</a>:
[QUOTE]We didn't have anyone show up that didn't rsvp. We did, however, have it the opposite way around. We had a few people not show up that did rsvp.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

We had this also. Some stuff came up at the last minute and I think 5 people didn't make it. Oh well, there's nothing we could do.

2010Bride2be · May 2011

My wedding hasn't arrived yet, so I haven't experienced it personally. However, when my sister got married, 12 people showed up that RSVPed 'no'. Luckily, the hotel was nice enough to quickly set up another table.

jemmini6 · May 2011

Our venue has the option of preparing 3% over your RSVP'd amount to cover any unexpected guests, but we aren't doing that (it's more money). I'm sorry, but if you were rude enough to show up with unexpected guests after we called, then you don't get to eat. Hopefully my family and friends will be a little more polite than that so I won't have to deal with it at all though....

ShakeUpTampa · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-ever-consider-non-rsvp-showing-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:16d04c75-d366-408e-bd98-4cda33484fffPost:834829d9-63e7-4680-9124-6d9888e2750b">Re: Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have nothing to add, but I just wanted to say hi to another Tampa person!
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

*waves hi!*

specialk84 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-ever-consider-non-rsvp-showing-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:16d04c75-d366-408e-bd98-4cda33484fffPost:6a69d22b-00e7-4d90-beb5-5918e83f8b37">Re: Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?</a>:
[QUOTE]Our venue has the option of preparing 3% over your RSVP'd amount to cover any unexpected guests, but we aren't doing that (it's more money). <strong> I'm sorry, but if you were rude enough to show up with unexpected guests after we called, then you don't get to eat.</strong> Hopefully my family and friends will be a little more polite than that so I won't have to deal with it at all though....
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

<div>That's my feeling on it. If one or two unexpected people show up, I'm not going to throw a hissy fit or anything, but if one of FI's uninvited cousins shows up with three kids, they will be asked to leave. </div><div>
</div><div>My caterer also prepares extra meals, but those are for vendors and the inevitable dropped plate. If there's enough food for the one or two unanticipated guests, fine, but I'm not having enough extras for an entire family to crash my wedding.</div>

Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?

Re: Did you ever consider: non RSVP showing up?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards