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Maid and Man of Honor? kinda long

missglinda14missglinda14
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Wedding Party
Disclaimer: I know I'm still a year out, but I asked the current bridal party to be in the wedding before I knew it was a bad idea.


So my best friend in the whole world aside from FI is my guy friend D. When I was picking my bridal party, I knew I wanted him to stand next to me as a Man of Honor and he was the first person I asked. He basically said no. I was hurt, but moved on and it hasn't affected our friendship in anyway. So now D has since broken up with his gf and last night he told me the only reason he said no was because he didn't know how she would react to it and he wanted to know if I could fit him in on FI side. He knows I have 5 on my side and only 4 on his side, so he was thinking it would make the sides even anyway. I told him that would really be up to FI, but if they become good friends, I don't see what the problem would be.


Truth is though, I still want him on my side. I know its perfectly possible to have two MoH whether they be guy or girl, but my question is would it hurt my current MoH if I ask him? She doesn't know I asked him first or anything, but I'm not sure if she would feel hurt or something. Also not sure how I should bring it up. I won't tell her that I originally asked him or anything like that, it would probably just be a "Hey, D is gonna be a ManOH in addition to you being MaidOH." Is that okay?
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Re: Maid and Man of Honor? kinda long

  • missglinda14missglinda14
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Sorry for lack of paragraphs. Stupid TK mobile.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why not ask him to be on your side?   They don't need to be even.
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  • missglinda14missglinda14
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I haven't asked him again if he wants to be a MOH or not. He was ranting about said girlfriend (the break up was very recent) and he mentioned thinking she wouldn't be comfortable with it and that being why he said no. It was also his idea to be on FI side. I don't want to ask him to be on my side (again) yet because I'm really not sure if it will end up hurting my current MOH or not. I'm not replacing her or demoting her or anything, I just feel like since I would be asking D so much later that it would look to her like I thought she wasn't good enough or something. I'm probably way overthinking it.

    In terms of him not wanting to be on the "girl's side," that could very well be a reason (if not THE reason) he didn't want to stand on my side. I really don't know. But thank you, Stage, I hadn't thought of that and will approach it like you suggested if/when the time comes.
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    No harm in asking him what he is comfortable with. Reissue the invite, and ask him which he prefers.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Stage, that's my point.   Yes she asked him already but there's no point in him being on the guy's side if he doesn't know the FI.

    Or you could ask him to do a reading.  
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  • boxjellyboxjelly member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    If he doesn't want to stand with a bunch of ladies that's fine. He can attend the wedding and maybe you can have him sit at the table with you, and see if he wants to attend all the important events leading up like the rehersal dinners or the bachelorette party
    August 9, 2015
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