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Church Worker

magsb522magsb522 member
First Comment
in Christian Weddings
I have been attending my current church for 8 years (through college).  I have been the full time youth director there for several months now.  Of course I want to get married in that church for many reasons.  However, my fiance is not a very active church person and he also not from here. I have been encouraged to invite, at the very least, the choir members and the youth group (the two groups I am most involved in.  I certainly love the congregation and am grateful for what they have done for me but we cannot afford an extra 100 guests from the church alone.  We have decided to invite those groups to the ceremony and do a receiving line at the church afterwards.  Then our close family and friends will be invited to the reception.  Thoughts? 
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Re: Church Worker

  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    At my home church, it is customary to open the ceremony to the church, and have a closed reception.  If you send invitations to people, that should include the ceremony AND reception, not either/or.  Maybe you could consider putting an announcement in the bulletin or church newsletter that states the ceremony will be open to any who wish to attend, with a private reception following, which is how the announcements in my home church are worded.


    *a few people have had open cake & punch receptions as well, but not many.  The church understands that receptions are usually the biggest expense and why they need to be limited.
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  • magsb522magsb522 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for the response!  I was going to do a verbal invite to the groups and leave it at that.  A couple of staff members have done the cake and punch thing but they were both from here as well as their spouses.  I don't want to make my fiance and his family uncomfortable.  Thanks again for the input!  :)
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    From an etiquette standpoint, it's rude to issue a personal invitation to someone for the ceremony but not invite them to the reception.  However, many churches will put an announcement in the bulletin.  If people show up, you can't stop them, but since you didn't issue a personal invitation you are under no obligation to invite them to the reception.

    Personally, I'm with etiquette on this one.  I think if you issue a personal invitation you need to be prepared to host them at the reception as well.
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  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Ditto what Drama said.
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  • FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I love Emily's suggestion about an open ceremony and a private reception.

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  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    An open ceremony and private reception are also standard at my church. A general invitation to the ceremony is issued in the church bulletin a few weeks beforehand. It's a good option if you can't afford a large reception, but allows the church family to still feel included. 
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  • RebeccaJacRebeccaJac
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I work in a church as well. I am from the school of thought that it's a bit rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. We're getting married away and still inviting people. We don't expect people from the congregation to come to the wedding since it's 14 hours away, but we will have a celebration BBQ when we return from our honeymoon. I'll probably wear the dress again for the students and things like that, but it'll be a lot more relaxed. 
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