NOT INVITED

starbucks1025 · April 2011

I am having a small destination wedding for only immediate family and bridal party. Should I address the issue of "not invited" with those not invited?

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:9bbb33b8-b0f4-4af9-919f-8dae764a796d">NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]I am having a small destination wedding for only immediate family and bridal party. Should I address the issue of "not invited" with those not invited?
Posted by starbucks1025[/QUOTE]

What?

No, why tell someone ahead of time what they don't get to do? That's just mean.

opalsky007 · April 2011

No. It is never polite to point out to people that they are not invited. If asked, and only if asked, just say that your wedding is very small.

Good luck with your planning!

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

What are you gonna do? Tell everyone you see that they're not invited to your wedding?

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2011

Now, if it makes you feel better, you can tell me I'm not invited.

Go ahead.

I can take it.

hlq2011 · April 2011

Nope. And if anyone asks, just say you decided to have an intimate ceremony.

sarah0725 · April 2011

Yes, you should definitely send out not-invitations. "Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So EXPRESSLY DO NOT request the pleasure of your company..."

[Deleted User] · April 2011

What kind of question is this?

If they don't receive an invite, they aren't invited. Period.

If they ask you about it, just tell them you are having a small, intimate family and friends wedding only.

missy68 · April 2011

MrsB, I'm having dinner with my husband Friday night.

You can't come.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:4a9a8921-7622-43c3-80c9-941fd6faa7f6">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]MrsB, I'm having dinner with my husband Friday night. You can't come.
Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

WHAT??? How can you exclude me from the awesomeness that is dinner with you and your H? I was prepared for a "you can't come" to the OP's wedding but this?? This is just unexpected and CRUSHING!

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

"I'm having a wedding, it's going to be pretty and fancy and there will be food and drink and AWESOMETOWN - but you can't come!"

missy68 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:8313099e-8dbb-4c55-bbd5-063ff1a3717d">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NOT INVITED : WHAT??? How can you exclude me from the awesomeness that is dinner with you and your H? I was prepared for a "you can't come" to the OP's wedding but this?? This is just unexpected and CRUSHING!
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

I know. What can I say? That's just me. I just wanted to let you know today, so you'd be prepared. Baby Bee can come, though.

waltzingmatilda13 · April 2011

I always have to wonder who voted against the majority and what their reasoning is? Who ARE you?

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:1921d1a2-1073-4f12-b453-f6287cbe7395">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]I always have to wonder who voted against the majority and what their reasoning is? Who ARE you?
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

OP?

dianemc10 · April 2011

I'm curious. What would you say to those not invited? What would be your plan?

(Not that I condone any of this - I'm just curious to understand the OP's thought process.)

waltzingmatilda13 · April 2011

It probably is the OP trying to swing the votes. Or makes us all think someone is one their side.

starbucks1025 · April 2011

Geez, you guys are rough...I didn't mean talking to everyone that is not invited. Just the Aunts & Uncles & Cousins who expect to be. Something along the lines of, "I wish we could afford to have a big wedding and include everyone, but circumstances being what they are, we couldn't.

Moneypenny424 · April 2011

I'd also like to know what you mean by this. Are you going to just randomly talk to everyone you know and let them know they're not invited?

If someone asks you if they are invited and they aren't, you can tell them at that point that you're having an intimate ceremony with only family.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:6e02ac12-11dc-424f-a846-70bddcf6eaf5">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]Geez, you guys are rough...I didn't mean talking to everyone that is not invited. Just the Aunts & Uncles & Cousins who expect to be. Something along the lines of, "I wish we could afford to have a big wedding and include everyone, but circumstances being what they are, we couldn't.
Posted by starbucks1025[/QUOTE]

Welcome to E.

If they don't ask, dont' bring it up. And if they do bring it up, yes, say that but they would be rude for asking in the first place.

And before I forget..... GL!

Snippylynn · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:96932a84-2d18-4ea3-b2a7-ae3e9835922b">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]No. It is never polite to point out to people that they are not invited. If asked, and only if asked, just say that your wedding is very small. Good luck with your planning!
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

Hehehehehehehehehe

Moneypenny424 · April 2011

I may also be possible that she invited all of her FB friends and can just do a status update saying "None of you are invited. Suck it."

missy68 · April 2011

In all seriousness, it IS poor etiquette to tell people they CANNOT attend any event.

When you return, send wedding announcements if you like.

Milsey32 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:96932a84-2d18-4ea3-b2a7-ae3e9835922b">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]No. It is never polite to point out to people that they are not invited. If asked, and only if asked, just say that your wedding is very small. Good luck with your planning!
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

<div>Everything about this answer is soooooooo right.</div>

xyrius · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:5232f157-8ce9-4448-88ef-9434eaf8d520">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]What are you gonna do? Tell everyone you see that they're not invited to your wedding?
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

this just made me laugh

"hey, how's it going? yeah, good. btw, i'm getting married, and you're not invited."

Birdie1483 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:1921d1a2-1073-4f12-b453-f6287cbe7395">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]I always have to wonder who voted against the majority and what their reasoning is? Who ARE you?
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

Probably my friend who had to specifically tell me he wasn't inviting me to his wedding. :(

Birdie1483 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:96aa6649-30e5-413c-b3a0-af4e1de90c7dPost:d9c3d120-118e-4f92-9b37-a4cb7e8e978e">Re: NOT INVITED</a>:
[QUOTE]I may also be possible that she invited all of her FB friends and can just do a status update saying "None of you are invited. Suck it."
Posted by Moneypenny424[/QUOTE]

Hehehe

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