I couldnt wait to get back on here to tell you ladies about the phone call.
It wasnt bad at all. I did some real praying before I dialed those numbers.
I called and identified myself... didnt know what to call her so I didnt call her anything at all, just said "good afternoon". I asked how she was ect. She said she was happy to hear from me and it actually sounded genuine. She did ask why I didnt call before. I told her I never had the number until yesterday and also, that with knowing she was ill and that she didnt approve of me and her son I never wanted to cause her undue stress. She assured me that it never would have done that. I told her that I have been praying for her from afar tho. Sometimes alone and sometimes with her son. (This is true) and that I wanted a relationship with her. She said the same.
She also went on to talk about herself and that she is dying. She said that she doesnt have much time before the Lord takes her and she just wants to focus on her relationship with him.
It was difficult to hear that. The reason tho, is because I dont hear some1 that is on their death bed in her voice. Ive been around dying people since I was 17. I worked in the hospital and have watched many many people die. Die of all kinds of things. There is a something different in their voice. Her voice is not that. Her voice is despair and depression.
I called FI and talked to him about this. He said he feels the same way, that it isnt the sound of a dying person but, of a depressed person.
I guess I have a different understanding for her now. In that I didnt believe that anything was devious. Although my mom says that she had no choice but to want to leave the past in the past because in the short future the same person she refused will be cooking her food. (You gotta love a mamma).
But, ladies.... day by day. I'll count this as Day 1
Thanks for listening everyone. I dont know how I'd manage without all u guys. I feel blessed to have you guys.
