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which name to use?

rbtrumpetrbtrumpet member
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in Chinese Weddings
FI has a chinese name that he rarely ever uses (only his mom calls him that), except on his driver's license, CCs, and all legal documents.

He has an "American name" but it's not officialy part of his legal name, but it's what everyone calls him.

our invites went out with:

"American nick-name" "Chinese name" "Last name"

He wants to use his American nick-name during the ceremony, but I think it would be more special for him to use his Chinese name.


For anyone who has american & ethnic names - what are you using at your ceremony?
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Re: which name to use?

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    ring_popring_pop member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same boat as your FI, although my English name is my legal first name. I just used my English name in the ceremony.

    I would go with the name that everyone knows him by. I personally think that's more special than a rarely used name that would make everyone go, "Huh?" If you and they know him as John, wouldn't you prefer to hear him say "I, John, take you..."?
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    will47will47 member
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    edited December 2011
    My fiancée is in pretty much the same situation. I don't know about the ceremony, but I think in our case, she will use her English name on the invitations; if we were doing bilingual invitations, maybe we'd put her name in the part that was in characters, but I think they'll just be in English.... If we do the vows in both English and Mandarin, I imagine she would use her Chinese name during the part that's in Chinese.

    In any event, it sounds like your fiancé already has pretty strong feelings about which name he identifies with and which name he wants to use, so I think it is probably best to go along with this.
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    ring_popring_pop member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_chinese-weddings_name-use?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:397Discussion:b5c8d3d6-e68c-40b5-80a5-a4a5d649a9f8Post:484ac73e-6e49-4aed-afb0-5ca8029803e3">Re: which name to use?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In any event, it sounds like your fiancé already has pretty strong feelings about which name he identifies with and which name he wants to use, so I think it is probably best to go along with this.
    Posted by will47[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. He should just do what he wants to do.
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    lynlovesjoelynlovesjoe
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    edited December 2011
    in our situation, on ther invites we put his chinese name (except on the reply postcard we wrote "Joe and Lyn" but on the website we put his english name, and we havent decided on the ceremony wording yet.

    See, I don't go by my offical name ususally, since I choose to be called by my nickname, so I think for the wedding it sounds nicer to use your real name just because it's an official thing. But I think overall you should just do what he wants.
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