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FMIL

FutureMrsJamisonFutureMrsJamison member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
You are all correct - I need to let it go. I actually was too nervous to leave this post up because I didn't want her googling my name or anything and finding the post - I just get nervous about that stuff and it's not worth rocking the boat. She lives far away - I should count my blessings I suppose and deal with the lack of card or gift.
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Re: FMIL

  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-no-shower-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:47f78eba-79cf-42cc-9ea3-6f9f9fd7a049Post:a4b1389c-f937-4232-9779-3af3f67c98a6">FMIL - No Shower Gift?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This past weekend my FH and I traveled 7 hours from home to spend the weekend with FMIL because she wanted to throw me a shower. I tried to be grateful and positive about the whole experience, but it was just awful. Family members actually came up to me and said “I am so sorry, if I would have known it would be like this, I would have taken over the planning!” However, I answered diplomatically saying I was thankful for the shower and for the opportunity to see everyone. I tried to keep my cool through her speech on how “marriage is just a piece of paper” and her telling me that having an open bar will be a recipe for disaster because her family can’t control themselves (her words, my thoughts). But then, when it was time to open gifts, I realized that she did not get us one. Not even a card. My feelings were very hurt and I had a hard time dealing with the fact that she hasn’t offered to help us with anything for the wedding (monetarily or otherwise) and now this. FH knows that I am upset – but I don’t know how to handle it from here … do I have to just let it go or can I say something?
    Posted by FutureMrsJamison[/QUOTE]

    The shower was her gift.

    Let it go.
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker

    Her gift was the shower - even if it was awful.  Also, the only people required to pay for anything for your wedding are you and your FI.

    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I agree with PP. The shower was a gift. I threw a friend a shower and it cost me $500. 

    Also, tell your DJ not to give her the mic at your wedding. 
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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Ditto PPs.  Hosting the shower was her gift.  And I agree with sunshine - if your FMIL is particularly opinionated about marriage, do not let her get the mic.  Limit who gets the mic to a specific list your DJ has in advance.
    image
    Anniversary


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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    The shower was her gift to you.

    The guests offered their sympathy to you in regards to the crazy speech she gave. You responded appropriately, by saying you enjoyed seeing everyone and that was the important thing. You made the best of a bad situation, so leave it at that.

    misssunshine brings up an excellent point. Don't let FMIL near the microphone again.
                       
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It's not a good idea to use your real name or future name as a screen name. You should create a new account for the sake of privacy.
                       
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