Open Letters

LittleKatie13 · May 2010

These always make me feel better...

Dear Boss,
It is 3 weeks before my out-of-town wedding, so no, I really can't stay til 8 tonight because I NEED to go to the lake house to get wedding stuff done. I can't come in tomorrow either, because the lake house is 90 miles away and I don't have the time to drive 90 minutes, do 2 hours of work, and drive 90 miles back. I know it seems silly to have to worry about wedding stuff when I'm trying to graduate, but dear Lord, I'm gonna lose it with you if you give me that "you're not dedicated enough" look again. Trying to get married here. Kapish?

Thanks,
Katie

Now you guys...

FutureMsAlexander · May 2010

Dear Grey's Anatomy,

Please don't kill everyone. You already took away my favorites last season. Eesh!

Hugs and kisses,
Farrah

PaigeMcC · May 2010

Dear Landlord,

please let us sign a month-to-month lease when our one year is up in August. You've said you want us to stay, we want to stay, but we're buying a house within the next year and we don't want to be tied to a lease. You already lost the people upstairs and can't find anyone else to move in. We're all you've got left...let us go month to month I don't want to move.

- The chick the pays the rent.

Dear pugs,

Mommy loves you but if you poop on my bathmat one more time I swear I will lock you out of the bathroom for a month! That's right no more drinking out of the shower stall if you keep it up! Don't make me keep that door closed...

Love,

Your Mommy

Steph0871 · May 2010

Dear Graduation Cake,

Why did you look so damn tasty all day at work? I'm glad I only took a 1/2 piece, but please don't make me eat another piece of you this afternoon....

~Bride-to-be trying not to sabotage herself

oh, and ditto the grey's letter.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

Dear cats,

I know the first rays of light break through the sky around 5:30am, but that does NOT mean that breakfast shows up that early. The alarm goes off at 6:30. Leave us alone until then. Gus, this means you shouldn't nibble our fingers, or walk on us, because you weigh 18 pounds. Nimbus, this means no crying. Lilah, this means no licking Oliver's armpits. That's just gross, anyway.

Love,
Mommy

Dear personal trainer,

I complain a lot, but I'm glad someone gets me off my fat ass. I wouldn't work out that hard on my own!

LittleKatie13 · May 2010

Dear Boss,
Now that I'm going to be here until 7:30 on a Friday night that I'm supposed to be using for a family dinner and wedding stuff and not work, I"m totally coming in late Monday morning. And you'll never know because you don't show up til 11.

Your favorite grad student,
Katie

Dear FI,
Thanks for being the best FI ever and putting up with my craziness. You didn't even laugh when I said I wanted to cry because I had to stay late. Thank you for letting me be a silly girl.

Love,

Your future wife.

greenglasshero · May 2010

Dear knees,
Doc said cardio 5 days a week, it's been two. I know I have medicine I can use, but you guys will have to do your part too. I've been doing all my physical therapy exercises and lots stretching, so you don't have an excuse very much longer.

cac847 · May 2010

Dear FI,
Yes, it sucks that your work computer was stolen, but it's your fault for leaving your car unlocked in the driveway. I have told you repeatedly you need to keep your car locked, so stop bitching about it.

Dear neighbors,
If you don't want the cops called on you, stop fighting so loudly. Usually I would ignore you, but when I can make out every word you're saying, and those words are "I'm going to fvck you up so bad" followed by the sound of crashing china and metal pans, police intervention is in order. I hope you're embarassed, because you should be. Now SHUT UP.

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