Upset about Venue...advice needed (LONG)

TheSlowskys · September 2012

My venue is a historic building that is now a performing arts center. Cocktail hour will be in a gallery and dinner/dancing will be in the theater.

When we toured the venue I was specifically told that they can't guarantee what sort of art would be up in the gallery but they were mindful that it is a wedding rental space as well. I pushed the issue a bit and wanted to confirm there wouldn't be any nudity or political work. I looked at pics of past exhibits and nothing was objectionable so I felt comfortable booking. Well, I just had my final walk through and while there is no nudity, I think the "art" they've chosen to display in the gallery is very suggestive.

I made that known to the event manager that I thought it was erotic and sexually charged, and she pretty much laughed in my face that there was nothing erotic about it and that it was just "photographs of a dance performance and there is nothing sexual and I'm sorry it's not your taste." When I looked up the dance performance, it was in fact, about a 19th century brothel. Absolutely, the photos aren't my taste. Half of them are of some corresponding dance which are in color and are just a bunch of old ladies - I honestly think all the pictures are ugly as sin, but I'm not upset about not liking them, I am upset about them being, in my opinion, suggestive. Everyone I've shown so far also thinks they are sexual. I'm extremely upset, and humiliated that our grandparents and priest will be there.

The venue has already made clear they won't do anything about them, and my event is one month away. Maybe someone can talk me off a ledge or give me some advice. I can't afford any more decor at this point and I don't even know how one would cover them.

Here are some links to the pics:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151154232708919.479888.92108923918&type=1

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.153408914682387.28840.148165775206701&type=3#!/photo.php?fbid=457026940987248&set=a.153408914682387.28840.148165775206701&type=3&theater

This photo is hanging right above where the bar is set up. I think this girl looks dead: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150200618793919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&theater

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150200618793919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&theater#!/photo.php?fbid=10150200618878919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&permPage=1

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150200618793919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&theater#!/photo.php?fbid=10150200618918919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&permPage=1

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150200618793919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&theater#!/photo.php?fbid=10150194338573919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&permPage=1

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150200618793919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&theater#!/photo.php?fbid=10150194338648919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&permPage=1

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150200618793919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&theater#!/photo.php?fbid=10150194338818919&set=a.10150194338548919.334045.92108923918&type=3&permPage=1

(there is one in that album of 2 women kissing... that is not hanging in the gallery, thank goodness).

TheSlowskys · September 2012

Repasted b/c the formatting got all ruined from the links:

My venue is a historic building that is now a performing arts center. Cocktail hour will be in a gallery and dinner/dancing will be in the theater.

When we toured the venue I was specifically told that they can't guarantee what sort of art would be up in the gallery but they were mindful that it is a wedding rental space as well. I pushed the issue a bit and wanted to confirm there wouldn't be any nudity or political work. I looked at pics of past exhibits and nothing was objectionable so I felt comfortable booking. Well, I just had my final walk through and while there is no nudity, I think the "art" they've chosen to display in the gallery is very suggestive.

I made that known to the event manager that I thought it was erotic and sexually charged, and she pretty much laughed in my face that there was nothing erotic about it and that it was just "photographs of a dance performance and there is nothing sexual and I'm sorry it's not your taste." When I looked up the dance performance, it was in fact, about a 19th century brothel. Absolutely, the photos aren't my taste. Half of them are of some corresponding dance which are in color and are just a bunch of old ladies - I honestly think all the pictures are ugly as sin, but I'm not upset about not liking them, I am upset about them being, in my opinion, suggestive. Everyone I've shown so far also thinks they are sexual. I'm extremely upset, and humiliated that our grandparents and priest will be there.

The venue has already made clear they won't do anything about them, and my event is one month away. Maybe someone can talk me off a ledge or give me some advice. I can't afford any more decor at this point and I don't even know how one would cover them

snuff9861 · September 2012

I agree the pictures are ugly but I don't think that they are as suggestive as you're making them out to be. Personally I wouldn't worry about it. People know that you have no control over what hangs in a gallery, and I think if you don't make a big deal about it to your friends and family there is a very good chance that they won't even notice the art. Everyone will be paying attention to the masterpiece that is you.

trawas01 · September 2012

I don't know... I think you rented an art gallery. There isn't any blantant nudity. I think they stuck to your request.

I also don't htink the photos are so overtly sexual that grandma will walk in and have a heart attack. So much else will be going on, you'll have centerpieces and lighting and all those people that it won't matter. Unless your family is UBER conservative I wouldn't be concerned. My FI's grandmother is a hard core, conservative irish catholic and I can't see her being too bothered by these.

insanityofamom · September 2012

I would just not pay them any attention.

TheSlowskys · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_upset-about-venueadvice-needed-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:790df4d7-fcfc-41cf-b069-d8921fe7c943Post:6196eef2-2cd3-41fa-a5d5-4bc5acfe523a">Re: Upset about Venue...advice needed (LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know... I think you rented an art gallery. There isn't any blantant nudity. I think they stuck to your request. I also don't htink the photos are so overtly sexual that grandma will walk in and have a heart attack. So much else will be going on, you'll have centerpieces and lighting and all those people that it won't matter. Unless your family is UBER conservative I wouldn't be concerned. My FI's grandmother is a hard core, conservative irish catholic and I can't see her being too bothered by these.
Posted by trawas01[/QUOTE]

There really won't be much else going on in this room. It is where cocktail hour is and there are just a few tables with tiny CPs. The bar will remain in here though during dinner, and when it is empty I think it will be a lot more noticeable.

Edit: Also, there is no special lighting.. just bright gallery lights.
Some members of our family our fairly conservative (and our Catholic priest of course will be there) I don't feel the pics are so bad as to give anyone a heart attack, but I do think many will find them inappropriate for a wedding.

trawas01 · September 2012

Its only for the cocktail hour?

For me it'd be fine. If nothing else it will give people something to talk about.

And to be honest, if you can't afford to cover them, then you're just making yourself crazy for nothing. Let it go, its art, some people will like it, some people will hate it, most won't even remember it.

jessiflower · September 2012

I think they are just fine...not actually real interesting, but they will be a conversation piece for cocktail hour....everyone knows you didn't pick the art and it IS in an art gallery...ART IN IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.......can't please everyone.....dont stress about this....it really isn't as big of deal as it may seem at the moment.....thats why you have us

people from the outside looking in.........dont sweat the small stuff.....

aro1589 · September 2012

I personally don't find them that suggestive. I think it will be okay. They will understand you had no control over it.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

Well you could ignore it or you could have fun with it. Create a game where people find something in the paintings or Vote for the worst.

lv2011 · September 2012

I don't find them suggestive. I do, however find them terrible. I'm really shocked a gallery would exhibit these: the photographic quality isn't great, the imagery is bleh, the composition of each photo is just plain bad. What kind of gallery is this?

Anyway, at least it's only for cocktail hour. People will likely be so busy mingling with eachother to notice the crap on the walls.

violakat03 · September 2012

I don't think they're at all suggestive, honestly. I see them as beautiful photographs of dance. As a photographer, I think they are excellent pieces and I'd be happy to have them displayed.

Scaponigro · September 2012

They don't seem too suggestive but I sure don't find them attractive or very artistic but you know what they say about opinions. Luckily it is only for cocktail hour so sometimes you have to just let things go.

xxjen015 · September 2012

I agree with most of the PPs. I really don't care for them personally, but I don't find them suggestive at all. It's just for cocktail hour, so I really don't think people will pay too much attention to them. I honestly think people will pay more attention to the fact that they're just strange photos than any kind of "sexual" feeling from them. I didn't get anything sexual or suggestive from them at all. Take a deep breath, it will be okay!

thale0924 · September 2012

Agree with every one. They are just not very good! What an amazing convo starter! btw I love the idea of having your wedding that type of venue!

TheSlowskys · September 2012

There's one I don't have a pic of that looks like an o face. I don't think you need nudity or groping to convey sex. Really, the pics suck and make me feel dirty. There is a museum of bad art in this city, ive seen better stuff there. Disappointing because they've had some great exhibits. The lower gallery, which is too small for cocktail hour features pics of Mexico Brazil and Peru in the 1960s. Absolutely stunning. Here's another wedding at the venue w a great exhibit http://katemcelweeblog.com/2010/11/05/cambridgemulticulturalartscenterweddingbrianlindsayreception/ scroll down and you can see the paintings. I've had many other complaints about this venue. They really seem to bite the hand that feeds and are so caught up in their own artistic pretention that they refuse to appreciative or show any flexibility with clients. We've has other issues w them... Kind of big ones. Ex: we were told it seats 150. Turns out it will only away 120 unless you break down tables to make room for a dance floor. Oh well. Live and learn...

pzavecz · September 2012

I agree with everyone else. I don't think they look suggestive at all. It just looks like people dancing or putting on a production. If I were at the wedding and saw the pics, I wouldn't think twice of it. Sorry, but I think you're making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't mean that in a rude, snarky way. If you don't mention that they are suggestive to anyone, I doubt many people would even think that or even know that the dance is about a brothel.

Upset about Venue...advice needed (LONG)

Re: Upset about Venue...advice needed (LONG)

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