bridal party hair and makeup

butterflyjumper1 · May 2012

So, I am paying for my BMs to have their hair and makeup done. While I am NOT a bridezilla, and don't want to come across as such, I feel like I should have SOME input into how they wear their hair. Is this crazy?

The only reason I really care is, my girls have gorgeous dresses, but the "statement" part of their dress is the open keyhole back that has a massive bow at the top of it. If the girls wear their hair down (or even half down!) their hair would cover the bow. So basically, they NEED to have their hair up, even though I know a few of them were not wanting to do updos....

Also, I have had this image in my mind all along of the girls having their hair up, with their pearls on, with a red-tinted lip. WOuld it be crazy to tell my makeup artists I want all my girls (not the junior bridesmaids necessarily, but the 5 regular bridesmaids) that I want a shade of red on them?

How much input are you having re: your bridesmaids hair and makeup?? Are you giving them free reign to do what they want, or are you giving them some general guidelines to follow?

Thank you for the opinions and feedback - I am interested in hearing what all of you guys are doing

penny12986 · May 2012

I think it's fine to dictate that all of their hair should be up or down, etc. but as far as makeup, I don't think I would do that.

I would never feel comfortable with bright red lipstick, really smoky eyes or something dramatic so I would discuss it with the bridesmaids before hand. Or maybe, if they don't want to go along with the makeup you are paying for, they could opt out?

bridetobe71412 · May 2012

Since you are paying, you can definitely have some input into what the girls are having done makeup and hair-wise. In fact, because you have a concrete reason for wanting it (i.e. the dress), I think you can certainly dictate that they wear their hair up. The style can be up to them. That being said, I wouldn't make them do something they're uncomfortable doing.

For example, I think red lips are AWESOME but not on me. I look horrendous with a red lip and it looks so incredibly weird on me that if someone told me I had to do it and be photographed incessantly I'd be pretty uneasy and pretty upset.

I am paying for 100% of my girls' makeup and hair. I am not dictating what hairstyle they're having and I am not telling them what makeup they are allowed to wear. I figure, since they're all wearing the same dress, I want them to still have some individuality, so I am giving them free reign over hair/makeup.

Although, that's not to say that if one of my BMs wanted to wear goth makeup or something (not that they would, I don't think . . . ), I wouldn't step in. For the most part, though, I trust their sense of style. They're all super cool ladies.

butterflyjumper1 · May 2012

*sigh* I think you guys are right about the red lip. It's just an image I had in my head, hahaha. I think the issue was more that, two of the girls had mentioned wanting a red lip since it would look so cute with the dress, which got me excited, thinking about how awesome it would look if they ALL did it and had coordinating makeup somehow, but I definitely know that one of the girls probably wouldn't be comfortable with it.

I really don't care about their hairstyle choice, as long as the bow/keyhole back is showing. I am glad that is not bridezilla of me, hahaha.

colleenm18 · May 2012

I agree with penny. I think that letting your BM know that you would prefer for them to wear their hair up and not down is just fine however I think telling them to do red lipstick is a little bridezilla..You can def suggest it but if someone is not into it dont force it.

Personally I am giving my girls free range to do whatever they want.

AllyG303 · May 2012

I think you could explain your vision, but then let them make the call on what they want to do.

I'm giving my bridesmaids free reign on hair and makeup. It doesn't matter to me how they want to do it, I'm just happy that they're standing up there with me.

Nancy00714 · May 2012

I feel that if you are paying you have every right to be a bridezilla and tell them exactly what you want. If my friend were paying for my hair I would definitely just do what she asked but that's just me. I'm sure most of them realize that their hair down doesn't go with a keyholed back. I don't feel this way about makeup. I guess if you're going for a certain look that's fine but not everyone might feel comfortable in a bold, red lip. Originally, I had asked my girls to put their hair up bc I was going to have mine down. Now I'm over it. Also, I'm not paying for hair or makeup but they were all sweet enough to want to get it done profeSsionally. I'm sure whatever they do they'll look great.

BmoreBride311 · May 2012

I'm not dictating anything to them. I actually would prefer them to each show off their own style. They are wearing the infinity dress (the one you can tie in about 1534256 different ways) and will each wear it differently, so I figured why not let them wear their hair their own way too.

If you really want the red lip, it wouldn't be bad to just throw it out as an idea but then let them decide. And I agree, it's totally fine to ask them to all do their hair up.

lvissers · May 2012

I think you can totally say what you want them to look like. My borther's wedding a couple months ago I paid for my own hair/maekup but was told to have an "updo that wasn't prom-like". I didn't think that was weird or bad etiquette.
Especially since you are paying and you are the bride you can defiintely tell the girls they must wear their hair up. You can give them a few up-do options to choose from, which would be nice though. Makeup like the other girls said, they may not all be gun-ho about the red lipstick, but you can def throw it out there that you think it would look good and let the girls decide. Maybe they can do a lighter version of the red if they aren't sure about the red red lip color.

Nancy00714 · May 2012

A whole bunch of chicks in red lipstick just got me thinking about robert palmer and that addicted to love song. It's be so cute if you all dance to that!

mbody · May 2012

I'm not telling them anything about their hair and make-up. They can do whatever they want to do. Some people feel they look better with one hair style vs. another. I mean, go ahead an suggest that you think it would look best if their hair is in an updo for the reasons you stated, but I wouldn't push it. Personally, I'd rather have my girls do what they want vs. have them secretly upset because of a vision. KWIM?

Edit: I get that with money comes strings and all, but are you paying for their hair/makeup to be nice? or are you paying so that you can 'dictate' their look? I don't necessarily agree with everyone who stated that since you're paying then you get to tell them how to look.

michelle11988 · May 2012

I think since you are paying you can say you want updo's and suggest what you want for makeup. I'm not paying for the girls hair and makeup, nor am I forcing them to get it done professionally, nor do I care what they do to be honest. I would just tell them that you would like all of them to have updo's and the idea of red lips but don't force it on to them.

bells24412 · May 2012

Since you are paying you do have a right to have an imput on how they should wear their hair.

I am only giving them a g/c to help them with the cost as a nice gesture so I told them they could do whatever style they want.

littlemoments324 · May 2012

I definitely say yes you have a right to dictate how you want them to do their hair...It will not be bridezilla..you're paying for it...Obviously their hair needs to be up, so make sure you let all the girls know ahead of time that they should start looking into up-do designs for the wedding so the hairstylists have an idea of what you're looking for...That way it doesn't sound like you're being too bridezilla in their minds...

As far as the make-up goes...some people cannot pull off those bold statements...maybe red earrings?? or a cute little red something in their hair??

bridetobe71412 · May 2012

I just wanted to clarify - As much as I think you can have input, I don't think you should go bridezilla on them if they don't comply. I think making suggestions would be within your right but I would limit that to hair.

elizabethmae315 · May 2012

I agree. you can suggest the all up hairstyle, citing the bow in the dress as a reason. Im requesting that my girls have it up because its july and hot, and i think they will all be more comfortable and the hair will stay better.

Im not paying for everyone to get makeup. but I think that you should let people pick. Perhaps the 2 girls who already discussed a red lip will convince others on their own, but you should not suggest it. If even one girl doesnt look good in a red lip, it will through off your whole vision anyways.

arunkumar · May 2012

Based on your description of the BM dresses, I would dictate that they not cover up the keyhole back/bow. That's really not too much to ask, because of the style of the dress.

I would not want to wear red lipstick. It just doesn't look good on me. That being said, I think it would look REALLY odd if two of the girls had bright red lipstick and the others didn't. Red lipstick is a really distinct look. I think you're better off kindly asking the two girls who want it to choose another color for this reason. I think it's either all or nothing with the red lips.

dawnleanna1 · May 2012

I think if you are covering the expense, it gives you the right to give your input unless of course they would be totally pissed, then I would just let it go. I am having a hair/MUA come to the hotel to get us ready. I am only paying for myself and 1 BM (my 16 y/o stepdaughter), my MOH is getting her makeup done for free because she handled the referral. If I decide to help out with anything, it will prob be the other BM's makeup. I am not going to specify how I want their hair. I just want them to look and feel beautiful and I completely trust my hairstylist. As far as makeup goes, I don't really care as long as it's not dark or dramatic because it's an afternoon wedding outside with a natural setting.

Nati05 · May 2012

Just a suggestion for those BMs who aren't into the updo idea.. what about a classy/ a bit more formal looking side ponytail or something similar that still shows the back? I'm not a fan of updos on me because I feel I don't have the bone structure for it, but I'd be totally cool with doing something to the side! Or like one of those styles where the hair is down but pinned all to one side? You might have already thought of this lol but I just wanted to throw it out there just in case haha

As for the lipstick I totally agree with a PP that suggested telling them about your idea, throwing it out there and letting them decide. You can even think of a way to mention it casually so that they don't feel pressured. Hey, some of them might like it! The others that don't can wear a shade they're comfortable in and it's all still good in the end!

butterflyjumper1 · May 2012

Nati - those are the exact styles I had in mind!! I have a few on my bridesmaids board on pinterest, haha. There is an adorable Carrie Underwood one that one of my BMs found and is going to promote, its a low side bun that's formal, but messy enough that it would be perfect for some of them. I also like the "swept to the side" but not up look, which might be great for a few of them, or even a loosely curled side pony would do the trick...I H A T E prom-looking updos, so I am hoping they will all be the opposite of that!!

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