"Non" Registry Question

Re: "Non" Registry Question

• Avion22 member

  

  March 2012

  Unfortunately, it's rude to ask for money.

  
  

  If you prefer cash, then have your families use word of mouth.  IF ASKED about your registries, they can respond, "Oh, they have all of the stuff they need, but I know they're saving up to pay off student loans/put a downpayment on a house/take a nice vacation/whatever."

  
  

  If you don't want physical gifts, then don't register (of have a very small registry of items that you would like to "upgrade"), and don't have a shower.  People will get the hint.

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_non-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7f3bbddc-c225-4a26-8fab-649399bbb165Post:f0adba9f-ef51-48f1-8c1a-7a119f7c9f3a">"Non" Registry Question</a>:
  [QUOTE]My finace and I are getting married in August. We have accumulated all the typical registry things we need over the years and really don't want to have additional "stuff." We already have our honeymoon paid for and planned. However, we have lots of student loan debt and would like to save up to purchase a home. What is the proper etiquette? Is it acceptable to ask for "donations" to helping us out of debt, so-to speak? We don't want to be rude...
  Posted by mljvff[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Unless you are a charity, you won't be receiving donations.  They are gifts.</div><div>
  </div><div>If you want money, skip the registry and shower.  You can direct your parents or whomever to respond to inquiries with "they have what they need, they're focused on saving for a house."  Guests who are comfortable will write you a check.  Guests who do not like to give money will go pick something out for you.  </div>

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• mdeidre

  

  March 2012

  I agree with the PPs, it is considered rude to ask for money and they are gifts, not donations.  I also agree not to register and have your parents and BP spread the word if asked.  Be prepared that there will be those who refuse to just give money and will buy you what they want you to have, but they would do that whether you had a registry or not.

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• MNVegas member

  

  March 2012

  Geez, what is it with all these greedy posts today about asking for cash!? 

  
  

  ASKING FOR CASH FOR ANY REASON IN ANY FORM IS RUDE!!

  
  

  If people want to give you cash they will put a check/cash in a card. It's not that complicated.

  
  

  
  

  Mary Click here for my bio!

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• blush64 member

  

  March 2012

  Don't ask for money. You don't have to register but you can't ask people for money.

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• Jdunk2008

  

  March 2012

  I had a similar question. This isn't the 50's and I think there is a polite way to spread the word. If people are going to spend $$ on things that you don't need..its no different than them handing you a check. In my situation IDK why it would be rude to include that
  "we are at a point that we have all the household supplies we could want but we are looking forward to purchasing a home in the near future. Any gift provided we will appreciate! "

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• Jdunk2008

  

  March 2012

  So I have observed that everyone else on this site is out of touch with the reality of life. I found this cute saying on another website. I think this is appropriate but if you live on either coast maybe you dont?
  
  "If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way.
  A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
  However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way."

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• Avion22 member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_non-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7f3bbddc-c225-4a26-8fab-649399bbb165Post:63bfef83-dd84-4f14-84fb-239eda0da414">Re: "Non" Registry Question</a>:
  [QUOTE]So I have observed that everyone else on this site is out of touch with the reality of life. I found this cute saying on another website. I think this is appropriate but if you live on either coast maybe you dont? "If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way. A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day. However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way."
  Posted by Jdunk2008[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>It's understandable that people would PREFER monetary gifts, but it's still rude to come right out and ask for money.   There are ways you can get the word out without using a rude and tacky poem -- use word of mouth through your families, don't register, don't have showers...people will figure it out.
  
  </div>

  

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