Pre-Parties, engagement, shower, etc...

Re: Pre-Parties, engagement, shower, etc...

• right1thistime member

  

  March 2012

  Part of the problem with encore situations, and marrying at a later age, is that people's lives get very busy.  I  don't think that your MOH deliberately didn't schedule a pre wedding event.  I am guessing she really wanted to, but then the soccer schedule, the pressures at work, her husband's job, her parents' doctors visits and impending surgery all filled her calendar out and then some.  When you are in your 20's your job may be hectic, but you don't have kids yet, your parents aren't aging and you can burn the candle at both ends.  Again, I doubt its personal. 
  
  However, the hurt you are feeling is very personal.  So you can sit there and feel hurt, or you can call up your MOH and say, "It's 4 weeks until the wedding, and I really want to get together with a small group of us to have some fun.  Could we squeeze in a lunch date on Sunday the 31st of March @ 1:30?  Whoever can come will come, and I get to spend a couple hours with the ladies who mean so much to me?  No pressure, no fancy invitations, just lunch at a restaurant?"  If what you really want is that, would you consider paying for it?  As the invitation issuer, you really should.  If your MOH is really close, you could even cover that topic with her, as to whether it would be a group getting together to just have lunch out, each paying their own way, or if someone wants to host.  ~Donna

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• MerryNMath member

  

  March 2012

  Brilliant... thank you.  Because that's really all I wanted...  just to feel a wee bit special...  Thanks

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  March 2012

  I sort of understand your position. We were going to have a ladies get together before my wedding with my friends who are my age, and guess what? My friend's daughter found out she was 6 months pregnant (don't ask............how do you not know?) and her baby shower was the Saturday before my wedding. I went to the baby shower. My friend was very apologetic, and I told her I totally understood. No problems, no worries.
  
  Instead we had a "ladies event" with my other BM and my 17 y/o daughter, we went and had our nails done, massages..........I paid with a gift card from my boss and the rest out of pocket. I didn't care.
  
  Crap happens in busy lives. I think Donna's advice is perfect, and your response is as well.

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• Lisa50 member

  

  March 2012

  I completely understand why your friends and family would not throw such parties, in fact, there are a ba-zillion reasons, most of which PPs have mentioned.  You know, don't you, that you and your fiance could have hosted your own engagement celebration?  That's water under the bridge ...
  
  With six weeks to go until your wedding, you may want to consider a wee bit of attitude adjustment.  A shift of perspective with a focus on what you have to look forward to, instead of brooding over perceived slights, might be less stressful.
  
  Enjoy your big day!

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